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8 Common Resume Mistakes You Should Avoid

With the economic downturn, more and more people are looking for employment. Which means it’s extremely important to have a resume that stands out from the rest. Here are eight common resume mistakes that could cost you your dream job.
 
8. Don’t Focus On The Negatives
 
funny resume mistakes aids invented
 
Far too many job applicants spend too much time including information that actually turns employers off. Put yourself in the shoes of your potential boss. Does he need to know that you accidentally invented AIDS when he’s considering you for a position? Probably not.
 
7. The Use Of Threats
 
funy resume mistakes threats
 
While you might be desperate for a job, threatening your potential employer will actually make him or her less likely to hire you. Always maintain a professional tone no matter what your financial situation may be.
 

 
6. Poor Choice Of References
 
funny resume mistakes
 
Be sure to only include references that highlight your professional history. Persons with which you have a volatile relationship, personal friends or family members should not be included.
 
5. Poor Choice Of Design
 
funny resume mistakes
 
The design of a resume is the first thing a potential employer notices. It needs to be easy on the eye and promote the words on the page in an friendly and inviting manner. If possible, try to leave off symbols of hate when desiging your resume.
 
4. Including Irrelevant Info
 
funny resume mistakes avoid
 
Most employers glance at a resume for 10 seconds. Don’t waste any space by providing information that an employer doesn’t need to know. Keep your resume focused on what you do well in your field of expertise.
 
3. Listing Your Religious Affiliation
 
funny resume mistakes
 
Most employers do not need to know your religious affiliation, and in some cases, listing this information could cause an employer to not consider you for a position.
 
2. Choice Of Font
 
funny resume mistakes font
 
When choosing a font for your resume, make sure you use a professionally-accepted typeface. Fonts such as "wingdings" (shown above) are difficult to read because they do not use letters of the English alphabet.
 
1. The Inclusion Of Homosexual "Bears"
 
resume mistakes homo bears
 
While most people do enjoy the sight of a large, hairy homosexual man in various poses, there’s no guarantee that your potential employer is into "bears." Just to be safe, make sure you take any and all photos of "bears" off your resume.

21 Responses to "8 Common Resume Mistakes You Should Avoid"

  1. Anonymous says:

    too funny!

  2. Anonymous says:

    Great!

  3. markbaland says:

    Reminds me of some advice that George Carlin gave about job interviews: Pick up the picture of the wife or girlfriend off of the boss’s desk and ask “Who’s the cunt?!”

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hope you atleast enjoyed “Best of the Taco”

  5. bearhopper says:

    hairey gay bears give you butt sudz

  6. alexthomson says:

    Hard drives don’t last nearly as long as some of the other components in your PC.
    flyer design

  7. MrTRocks says:

    Sooooo, am I hired?

  8. Tidson says:

    That was pretty funny, issuing death threats in your resume lol.

    Free Adult TV

  9. MrTRocks says:

    Soooooo, am I hired?

  10. BillyBilly says:

    Hilarious

  11. PROMPROG says:

    Wow. I mean, wow. I just don’t know how to go on after reading these comments.

    //Honestly contemplating a quick, silent end.

  12. Anonymous says:

    are these really common mistakes? or is this article supposed to be funny?

  13. Anonymous says:

    Never leave your house. You’ll only hurt yourself.

  14. PROMPROG says:

    Suddenly, I think you are not really that much fun to hang out with. Actually, I think the whole world is a less fun place to be in because of you. I’m not trying to be an ass, but you are a total bummer for the sake of sounding….well…like a total asshole. Man, wtf is happening?

  15. Anonymous says:

    While the examples listed may be silly or even offensive to some, his content is correct.

    I’m a former recruiter and I’ve seen many resumes come through with irrelevant information, such as how many children a person has, long lists of hobbies that include religious reference, etc.

    I’ve seen every variety of format used, and some are very difficult to read, especially when several fonts are used on one resume. Everyone will tell you a plain text resume is best for scanning purposes. I’ve not seen any designs as yet, but I have seen photos on resumes.

    The writer did forget to mention using weird colored paper. Ever seen a resume on lilac or yellow paper???

    I think the Bears thing was just for pure humor :)

  16. Jeannine says:

    This is funny. Thought I’d send it your way for a goood giggle.

  17. Anthony B. says:

    So, what you’re saying is the watermark of a twink dressed as a P.O.W. being held by a Nazi bear is… wrong??? You guys must have misprinted, because that’s the first thing they taught me in public school.

  18. Anonymous says:

    then write him

  19. Anonymous says:

    I can totally read William J. Hansen’s blurred out address and e-mail.

  20. RoboPanda says:

    #8 should be “Stealing Other People’s Accomplishments” because I totally invented AIDS. Accidental? That green monkey was asking for it.