The world is rife with classic sayings. A rolling stone gathers no moss, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, you can’t take your pants off on the bus. There’s plenty to choose from and, as you might expect, the noble moustache has its share of sayings as well. Will they bless you with wisdom and insight? Maybe. But they’ll also help you segue into our Movember coverage as we once again invite you to help us support Movember and our partnership with the Movember foundation by joining our team as we raise awareness of prostate and ball cancer and raise some cash. Last year we raised $40,000, this year if we don’t raise at least that much then Gary Busey will fight us.
Who wants a Moustache Ride? – Super Troopers
No single question is apt to make you want your own moustache more than this line from Super Troopers which made us all realize that there may be Euro chicks out there who dig moustaches in a dirty way. The movie’s addition of the creepy Euro dude was a bit of a step backwards, but whatever floats your boat, man.
Guys are lucky because they get to grow moustaches. I wish I could. It’s like having a little pet for your face. – Anita Wise
Anita Wise is a stand up comedian so probably all her insights into moustaches are great, just like all of Andrew Dice Clay’s thoughts on relationships are relatable and interesting. As far as I can tell she was in two episodes of Seinfeld in its first season, which was like 1988 or something.
I had beautiful wavy hair and a waxed moustache. – Curly Howard
Curly, as you should be aware, was the greatest of all the Stooges, even greater than Moe. And so help me if you even think of mentioning Shemp. Curly, bald as the ball we call cue, lamented his lack of hair and his delightfully waxed moustache because, as you know, until the 1940’s all men waxed their moustaches to help curb the proliferation of stache lice.
A man without a moustache is like a cup of tea without sugar. – Proverb
This is a proverb from England which explains its mild wussiness. No offense to the English, but on paper you guys are rarely beastly in any way. I mean, you have tea proverbs. Come on. That said, the implication here is that a stacheless dude is bitter and undesirable. But given the English stereotype for dental hygiene maybe they could use a little sugar and their proverbs about sweets should be taken with a grain of salt. Which maybe you took because it looked like sugar, I dunno.
Looking for peace is like looking for a turtle with a moustache: You won’t be able to find it. But when your heart is ready, peace will come looking for you.” – Ajahn Chah
This quote is from a fairly well known Buddhist and spirituality aside, the quote itself is fantastic in its implications. Not about peace ut about moustache-sporting turtles. Look at the body of what it says, he’s implying that a turtle with a moustache will literally come looking for you one day when you’re ready for it, that’s fantastic.
Love without jealousy is like a Pole with no moustache – Polish proverb
I have no idea how to take this proverb and, in fairness, not all proverbs are as easy to interpret as their short nature would imply. On the one hand it seems like this is saying all Poles should have moustaches and all love needs jealousy. But it may also be implying really good Poles don’t need moustaches. Or that love without jealousy is rare or not rare, depending on the prevalence of moustache son Poles at the time this was popular. Honestly, you’d need to know more moustache history to figure this one out.
An angry mob is walking along the street. Someone yells, “Hey, let’s hang that guy with a moustache!”
Someone else yells, “No, let’s use a rope!”
Is this is a proverb or a quote? No. It’s a moustache joke and it’s a winner. Tell your friends!