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8 People Who Will Ruin Your Party

Throwing a party is a lot of work, so it’s a real disappointment when somebody you invited ruins it. Here’s 8 types of people to watch out for before you make your next invite list.

8. Person Who Insists On Cleaning Up Your Party While It’s Still Going On

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Right in front of you, asking if your drink is finished. Or, methodically moving through the party with a white trash bag and a look on their face as if they’ve been hunting Osama Bin laden for the last 6 years and have narrowed down his whereabouts to somewhere in this party.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Drinking a beer, much like sex, is far less enjoyable when someone is asking you if you’re finished every five minutes. It’s great that they want to help you clean up, but if you’ve decided to have a party, you’ve already resigned yourself to the fact that when it’s over, your house is going to probably look like the bathroom that Cary Elwes and Danny Glover woke up in, in the first Saw movie. I wonder if these people also decide to wipe their ass in the middle of taking a shit, just to “cut down on the work that has to be done when it’s all over!”

7. GUY WHO GETS WASTED IN THE FIRST HOUR

WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: Right by the fridge, bro, cause that’s where all the beer is!

HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: From the moment this guy shows up, everything he says has an exclamation point at the end of it. “This party rules, dude! “I am ready to party TO-night! “Let’s shotgun these, bro! “Tits! Then, one hour and 13 beers later this guy is incoherent, weaving on his feet and saying stuff like “Paartyyyygjlskdvm… So, instead of kicking back and hanging out with your friends, you have to spend the rest of the night making sure he doesn’t puke on your couch, piss in your plants or crap on your coffee table.

6. Person Who Only Knows You

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: About two feet to the right of you, standing silently, staring at either you or the person you’re talking to.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: You invited them because during the four and a half minutes a day you talk to them at work, they seem pretty cool and/or really enjoy the impression you do of a fellow coworker. Except as soon as they get to your party, they tense up like Alex Rodriguez’s asshole during a game in October. You have two options at this point, 1) entertain them and include them in every conversation you have the entire night, like they’re your wife or husband even though you probably don’t know their last name, or 2) leave them on their own which leads to them standing in a corner by themselves, staring at you, causing your friends to ask you “I think that dude in the corner is planning on raping you.

5. GIRL WHO STARTS CRYING

WHERE YOU WILL FIND HER: She’s usually holed up in the bathroom (taking up valuable toilet space) with three of her bestest girlfriends—all three of whom are overweight.

HOW SHE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: The worst part is that this girl isn’t crying because her parents just died or she lost a limb. She’s sobbing into a fistful of tissues because she always needs to be the center of attention. If everyone’s not focused on her and all her problems, she just starts crying louder about her job or some lame guy who won’t date her or how fat her friends are. This means you either sit there and let her bring down the vibe of your party or you take her outside and listen to her whine about absolutely nothing. If possible, pair her up with the super wasted guy. She’ll think he’s listening and he’ll think he’s going to score.

4. Person Who Just Got Dumped By Their Girlfriend/Boyfriend

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: In any corner where they were able to trap and force someone to listen to them talk about how they “don’t know what happened, and how it “seemed like things were fine and then all of a sudden she just said that she thought that we were different people now. What does that even mean? Do you know, because I sure as fuck don’t! I just miss her so much. My name’s Brian by the way.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: If I wanted people to get depressed as fuck at my party, I’d screen a copy of Schlindler’s list. The problem with these people is, they don’t care who they talk to, and no excuse you give will stop them from talking to you. “Hey, I gotta run to the bathroom, “No worries, I’ll just wait for you until your done, unlike my EX girlfriend, who wouldn’t wait no matter HOW important it was to go to the bathroom and would just leave you with NOTHING while you were in there.

3. Creepy Dude Who Tries To Bang Chicks At The Very End Of The Party

WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: Towards the end of the party, he’ll be wherever he hears the words “I can’t believe my friends left without me, they were my ride! or “I’m so (hiccup) fucked up (hiccup) I gotta lay down or something.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: There’s a reason why this dude waits till the end of the party to try and score; he’s way too fucking creepy to do so when someone isn’t in some sort of desperate situation. Thus, although he’s there because he’s either family, a neighbor, or someone else invited him, you now have to hope to God he doesn’t take advantage of someone at your party, otherwise your party will not be remembered as “That Fourth of July Party at Bill’s house, and instead be remembered as “that party at Bill’s house where that creepy guy tried to fingerbang Michele while she was puking.

2. Couple Who Brings Their Baby

COUPLE WHO BRING THEIR BABY: Off to the side, on their knees, pleading with a 6 month old child to stop screaming or right next to you, asking you where he can dispose of a shit filled diaper.

WHY THEY WILL RUIN THEIR PARTY: Nothing says party like the sound of a screaming child and the stench of talcum powder and baby diarrhea! If there was a dude puking, shitting and crying at your party, would you be cool with that? No, you’d either be like “Who the fuck brought this guy? But if you say that about a baby suddenly that makes you an asshole. Meanwhile, the party sucks becase everyone is being super cautious and attentive to the baby, as if the other 99% of the time that they’re not there the baby is barely eluding death due to unsupervision.

1. THE POLITICS GUY

WHERE YOU WILL FIND HIM: At the beginning of the night he usually stands right next to the front door where he overtly shows off his political button or T-shirt that says something like “Once You Go Barack, You Won’t Go Back or “McCain = McStupid. Then, after everyone shows up, he stealthily mingles from group to group while nonchalantly dropping lines like “Did you see what those fatcats tried to pull? anytime there’s a lull in the conversation.

HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: No one in the history of parties has ever changed their political beliefs based on some asshole screaming about health care reform in the kitchen of a two bedroom apartment. His endlessly tiresome factoids and statistics about how much oil we consume and how the death penalty doesn’t work will make your guests either leave or kill themselves where they stand.

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230 Responses to "8 People Who Will Ruin Your Party"

  1. -E- says:

    Yeah, where’s the angry guy?

  2. whoblewthat says:

    You forgot #9 – Music snob

    Where he’s found. Hovering by your cd player all night. Bitches to anyone in earshot about how bad your collection is. Loudly mentions band recently featured on Pitchfork, as though anyone gives a shit about Pitchfork. Comandeers the CD player and does the best he can with your crap collection. Bums cigarettes all night then complains that no one smokes American Spirits. Drones on and on about this kick ass band he saw jam at some shit hole and how that’s real music. Has serious case of short term memory as everyone at the party remembers when he was into Limp Bizkit.

  3. Deez says:

    What about the guy that is always the drinker, never the buyer? The dude or chick that is always drinking at everyone else’s party, but never buys or finds some excuse not to chip in for booze? See #7 and #5 for the types I notice this a lot with.

  4. Someone in Pittsburgh says:

    You might also like to include the drank to much and am now naked person.

    I see this in similar quantaties between the sexes and I see one of these people at least every other party.

  5. pepelicious says:

    The guy who thinks he’s Dane Cook. Note: if chicks are the only one laughing at your stories, you’re not funny.

  6. pepelicious says:

    The drug problem guy. Nothing changes the vibe faster than the guy who everyone knows is going to do wayyy too much of whatever everyone else is doing. By the end of the night you can be sure someone will be giving this guy a cold bath and everyone will realize drugs aren’t fun after all. Only you’ve been doing them all night and you now have a good few hours before you can even think about sleeping to dwell on how sad your existence is.

  7. Billy, Sweet Billy Boy says:

    Also agree their should be a token “angry guy.” This guy shows up only to find his ex-girlfriend there with some other dude. A few beers deep, he decides to pull her aside and yell at her about the other guy. This then escelates into him throwing a heavy object through a window and the host of the party ushering everyone out of the house so angry guy doesn’t stab you in the neck for making eye contact with him.

  8. SoLinkable says:

    There is ALWAYS somebody there who is waaaay too old. ALWAYS.

  9. The Ex says:

    The Not-so-over-you-yet Ex.

    where: either all over your every step, staring at you from across the room, or talking to every person of the opposite sex that you might even be interested in hitting on.

    Why: If they are good (and it ain’t that tough to be good at this) they ruin any shot of you getting lucky. This of course is clear to you pretty early on so you make the horrible choice of sleeping with your ex just to get ass and right in the middle of some good old imagine-this-is-someone-else-and-get-it-done-quick sex they smile awkwardly and drop an L-bomb. Congrats, you’ve now not only ruined this party, but the next one too because you know they assume they’re invited.

  10. JoGirl says:

    The drunk/rolling, sweaty, shirtless guy who wants to hug everyone. There’s an abundance of them in SoCal, anyway!

  11. billybobirish says:

    how about the annoying guy who thinks hes the shit at beer pong, then when you beat him he goes though his excuse book and pulling out shit reasons as to why he lost by 6 cups

    i.e….the track lighting above threw off my eye coordination…

  12. some dude says:

    The “Add-On” – The random guy/gal who shows up because it’s a party and they were just “passing through”. They don’t know anyone, bum smokes, and doesn’t pay for the beer.

  13. frank bailey says:

    11. As well as waaay too old guy, there is always ‘immature liitle prick tease.’ She thinks she’s SO hot, but really she’s only after the dude who can’t look after his wad. -Even if you get stuck sleeping with her she shags just like she chews gum; mechanical, predictable and boring. (they are hell to get shot of in the morning too.)

    12. Spiritual freaky couple; bore you to tears with recipes for healing, crystals for chakra and other STD’s and drone on and on about these ‘out of body experiences’ they imagine they had.

    13. The worst. Wannabe Gangsta Hip Guy. “Alright. geeza? Hey, bro; whassup??? yo, homey, hows it hanging… Woh! Dude!!” etc etc… god, these are such a drag. they think they are the dogs’ bollocks, but really, they are just bollocks.

  14. mr dude says:

    dude too old to be there is at all of my parties.

  15. bigdaddyfatsack says:

    Wow… All of this is so accurate, even the user comments. I almost know one of each.

  16. Dom says:

    You can’t forget the, Dude, I’m going to do something crazy guy. You know the one who does something like jump off the roof into the pool, or check this out i’m going to jump off the balcony. Usually ends in a trip to the hospital.

  17. Mr. Senior Citizen says:

    I’m usually the “too old guy” at most of these parties. And you know what?

    I always end up bringing home a hot piece of ass.

    ALWAYS.

    You kids could pay attention and learn from the master.

  18. mike says:

    I’m the guy who steals the “too old guy’s” ho girlfriend. And then breaks a lamp.

  19. What Party? says:

    @ Mr. Senior Citizen – You’re also “Creepy Guy Who Tries To Bang Chicks At The End Of The Party,” You just don’t realize it.

  20. dudemachine says:

    hands down, political guy will ruin a party fastest, before everyone’s drunk enough to realise theyre too drunk to be talking about politics.

    politics dude can never be wrong either, only not loud enough.

    see also: dude who just read a book

  21. Anonymous says:

    how about guy who farts loudly on everyone and brings several porno magazines to show everyone. aka: me.

  22. TrustMe says:

    i’m the guy who goes into the bathroom, takes your electric toothbrush and cleans my asshole with it. then i lift the toilet lid and give them the good ‘ol high-tower. then i take all the towels from the linen closet and sit on them carefully making sure the tip of my asshole hits every spot where i might think your face will be in the morning. then i hit up the medicine cabinet to score some drugs. I take a shot of listerine and now i’m ready to grab underage unsuspecting polkadot panty wearing hoes’ ass.
    -bathroom anarchist

  23. Daniela says:

    #6: person who only knows you is completely the fault of the host/hostess. Why don’t you introduce him/her to some other people at the party? Problem solved.

  24. mr. manager says:

    TrustMe is so totally hardcore. Let’s all be impressed with how bad ass his post was.

  25. guy says:

    TrustMe is so totally hardcore. Let’s all be impressed with how bad ass his post was.

  26. Ross says:

    What about that little group of 3 people who WONT STOP WITH THE INSIDE JOKES. This ruins the party. It pisses everybody off who is there because they don’t understand what they’re saying.

  27. Anil Dikshit says:

    What about the creepy guy who’s way too old to be there?

  28. anonymous says:

    Naw I’m not too old I’m too awesome

  29. FrogSoda says:

    9.
    The Amway guy.
    So how much do you pay for toilet paper?

  30. gENERAL says:

    :# Anil Dikshit Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    What about the creepy guy who’s way too old to be there?

    # anonymous Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Naw I’m not too old I’m too awesome

    BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF HT!!!

  31. What about the guy who is way to aggressive while trying to get chicks and then winds up beating someone up? Those guys are usually at the parties where the ratio is not in you favor.

  32. Pratik says:

    What about the guy who breaks something that is nearly impossible to fix? He’ll come up to you and be like “hey dude I think we broke the door off your fridge” or “we were playing football with your grandma’s gravy bowl and well… here it is *holds up a bag of shattered ceramic*”

  33. pepelicious says:

    One person you don’t want to see is the chick who brings her ugly/bitchy/boring/opinionated single girlfriend she’s constantly trying to pawn off on some unsuspecting guy.

  34. pepelicious says:

    The gangster looking guy who randomly shows up to a party that is really not that scene. Usually this guy is a few years younger than everyone else. Half the people start covering their watches with their sleeves and tucking their necklaces in to their shirts when this guy wanders in. The other half are trying to remember how much coke is again and if they went to the atm machine before they came.

  35. pepelicious says:

    The musician who insists on picking up the guitar or sitting down at the piano after they’ve had a few drinks and playing something really “deep”. Save it for your bedroom, Jim Croce.

  36. Mr. Mister says:

    What about the fat chick that just stands in the middle of everyone dancing and just complains about how slutty everyone is being. Completely fuckin up the mood.

  37. Fresno Bob says:

    How about Mr “too eager with the cam phone guy”. Either stays sober so he can take the “embarrassing pic of someone with marker all over their face” or follow the hottest chick all night taking so many shots it gives everyone the douche chills.

  38. FTW says:

    “You might also like to include the drank to much and am now naked person.”

    Dude, that does not ruin a party. Naked people can only make it better. Unless they’re ugly.

  39. woogity says:

    hows about the group of dudes that come in uninvited after almost everyone has left bitch about how your out of beer even tho they showedup at 4 am then go through your fridge, eat anything they dont have to cook. try to eat half the stuff they do have to cook wreck your kitchen and end up wrecking the whole kitchen and trying to clean it up with someones bathtowel or not at all.

  40. Anonymous says:

    what about the guy who turns out to be a girl? thought i was going to get a good gay rimmy and them bam! yucky.

  41. Anonymous says:

    My mate Nick. He covers most of these criteria. Maybe not the baby one.

  42. JJ BANKS says:

    Now I remember why I stopped having parties and just started drinking alone.

  43. Joe says:

    How about 1 person who ruins my internets? Lame ass list writers.

  44. ginger says:

    there should be #9: a ginger, because nobody likes a ginger

  45. Pheeshy says:

    How about when your buddy asks “Hey is it cool if my new roommate comes?” and the guy turns out to be a complete douche. Hits on every girl and is just too fucking creepy to pick one up. You then get to here from every girl he has hit on “Do you know that guy? He’s fuckin weird.”

  46. Outbanks says:

    OMFG!!!!! I know the politics guy. No, I mean I actually know THAT politics guy. I went to school with the person in the picture. WTF!!!!!!!!!!!

  47. Outbanks says:

    And for the record, he *is* in fact a hardcore politics person (extremely liberal)

  48. Anonymous says:

    what about that people that acted fucked up when they really arent and laugh really loud

  49. Rob says:

    “# Outbanks Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    And for the record, he *is* in fact a hardcore politics person (extremely liberal)”

    He looks like a fuckin’ pedophile.

    I got one for ya, I guess it’s kinda like the “not over you ex” but a little worse.

    The bootycall from two weeks ago that you never called back who spots you with the girl you brought to the party and hope to rail before the night is over. This is one damn difficult landmine to avoid.

  50. CJ says:

    you have to include the judger, the person who just acts above people drinking and possibly having sex. You will find them standing against the wall shooting dirty looks and muttering things like, “he’s a real charmer.” or “Wow, can we say slut?”

  51. what about says:

    the dude who is always paranoid about people he isnt cool with and how a fight is going to start and inevitably DOES start.
    -note the reciprocal- the dude who gets wasted and looks for a fight and usually finds one by the end of the night.

  52. V says:

    What about the judgmental guy trying to classify everyone, and is too busy doing this to have a good time? Get over yourself.

  53. MyZine.com says:

    Number three sounds neat. Thanks for the tip!

  54. It bothers me says:

    What about the stereotypical “bro”? You know, the one that is in a frat, loves Will Ferrel movies, Dane Cook, tribal-tattoo radio rock, drinks Natural Ice, tries to hit on and impress all the girls with lame jokes, and says “Bro” or “chill” or “brah” and says “Shake-n-bake” with his best bud?

    I really can’t stand people haha

  55. Barry Taylor says:

    I’m the guy that stands there following my only friend who happens to only know me because of work and he’s like alot cooler than me. He actually get’s laid. So i follow him around the whole time and make him feel awkward, then when the girl he’s talking to asks who I am, I’ll say my name quickly (stepping forward one step as I do so, then stepping back 1 step to my previous location). Then after that when someone asks what I did at the party, I’ll say I talked to so many girls and there was this 1 girl who really liked me (even though she asked who I was). Then I’ll say I had an intellectual conversation with her about the book Frankenstein that I took an online course for to try and get into University of Waterloo, but failed miserably because I realized I want to play diablo 2 all day even though it’s 2008. Then when my cool friend invites me to a guy’s night out, and they ask if I’m a virgin, I’ll say that I am not a virgin. I shop at international clothiers and buy mecca pants and fishing shop shirts that say things like “Cool Catch” or “Bass Fishing” or something like “Joe’s Crab Shack”. And I’ll wear these white K-Swiss shoes that just look like absolute dogshit when paired with my oddly cut pants that offer nothing but protection from the outside air.

  56. poop says:

    im the guy that buys 50 cockroaches and lets them free in your household.

  57. adam says:

    how about the guy that calls the cops?
    or the guy that comes completely out of dress code. either wearing a suit to something casual (usually to get some attention) or the guy that wears sweatpants and a basketball jersey when everybody else is wearing polos.
    or the guy that makes a big deal about watching a red sox game on tv?

  58. 20 Wings says:

    Oh, I’m completely #8 on this list. Not that people complain; I’m actually quite useful.

  59. Lionboy says:

    What about the guy or girl who when they say in the sayabout of the inside top of middle neddle penguin what does egg to the maximum orifice, hah your eyes read all my written poop, your eyes have poop in them now.

  60. Radium says:

    And what about the asshole who talks about him/herself all night thinking that anybody gives a F*CK.

  61. Literate&Anonymous says:

    The fat who “has a great personality” and is “super cool” to everyone for the first couple of hours, but then realizes no one’s going to bang her unless they’ve got four-inch-thick beer goggles on, so she starts getting pissed and bitching about how superficial the guys are and how shallow the girls are.

    Then she raids the fridge and steals all your Ben & Jerry’s.

  62. Webmonster says:

    Whatever party i got to, there always seems to be the guy who ends up in hospital from jumping off the dog house into a paddeling pool, and the guy whos passed out naked on the kitchen floor by 9pm

  63. psyki says:

    Or the internet whore who insists on showing everyone his favorite youtube videos, or tries to reconfigure your wireless network but inevitably fucks it all up.

  64. Radium says:

    What dumb F*CK jumps off the dog house, fool. Go to the balcony if you want to kill yourself. It’s Newton’s law you know.

  65. beebee says:

    What about the camera holding facebook fanatic that have to have a photo of everything remotely exiting.

  66. Jason says:

    How about the guy that starts getting really philosophical and abstract with you after a few drinks. Then you have to listen to their opinion on whether life exists beyond Earth.

  67. Radium says:

    Hey, beebee, exiting is like when your withdraw from something like intercourse. Exciting is when you like it.

  68. Armando says:

    so true Blake Williams,,, i think i am one of those guys to be honest i usually score tho 1 outta 10 times i start a fight tho.

  69. Anonymous says:

    when the host/hostess keeps taking phone calls

  70. Krazd says:

    People who steal your drinks and leaves..

  71. Anonymous says:

    If you take away all the people mentioned here, there won’t be much a party left. Part of a party is being immersed in the idiosyncracies and spontaneity of people.

  72. Lorenzo says:

    Great post!!! I’m #3 on the list! :D DD

  73. BoredToDeath says:

    If none of the people mentioned here shows up at the party, it’s gonna be extremely boring! These are the people that make the party going!

  74. placido says:

    “How about 1 person who ruins my internets? Lame ass list writers.”
    hahahaha great

  75. ghostzapper says:

    How about the guy/girl you see perusing the crowd with the shifty eyes and SLOWLY categorizing everyone at the party….

    Fun, fun, fun.

    p.s. Don’t have kids.

  76. Drazo says:

    And what about all those people with penises and vaginas drinking and dancing and having fun and then penises have to pee and they go and pee and people look at their penises, regretful (becuse penises are just hanging in their pants and peeing is the only time they have some action) and then everyone goes home and think how gasoline is expensive and that world is one shitty place and all and think about reading some Kierkegaard and Paolo Coelho and bring some sense into this not worthwhile existence and then terrorists blow themselves up and everyone thinks “Gee, my penis is disbodied now!” And Vagina looks at him and says “You’re so lame”.

  77. ghostzapper says:

    Indeed.

    Straighten up and play right or get over yourself.

    “Vagina” and her use of contractions was not lost me.

  78. Jim Jones says:

    Yeah! What is it about the fine chick always having fat girlfriends? I dont get it.

    JT
    http://www.FireMe.To/udi

  79. zwyrok says:

    @ Jim Jones

    Chicks always come in pairs – one hot, one not. sometimes when the hot one is down, the not one have to bring reinforcements.

    u know what is worse than the wasted guy? wasted zombie guy. i know one like thet – fellow just won’t fall asleep and become harmless, he’ll go around unintentionally breaking stuff, talking wrong stuff to wrong people and so… needs constant attention.

    and the other guy, that keeps appearing at my parties – the one who studies law and is so damn sure he can convince the cops not to do various things they ussualy do when they come to party, inevitably fails, makes things worse and often gets taken downtown

  80. Fink says:

    The Beer Bum

    Where you can find them:
    Either right next to your fridge, or in close proximity to it, drinking all your beer or at the front door leaving your party because they just finished all of your beer.

    Why they will ruin your party:
    You only invited this freeloader because he’s one of your best friend’s friends. His overweight build, horrible BO, firefighter t-shirt, and yankees hat shows that he isn’t looking for anything tonight other than YOUR beer, which is funny because he has been to several of your parties now and never once paid you. Then after he’s had a few, he will bitch that he always buys beer and that you owe him from, “uhhh……that other time.” It is very clear that none of the girls there even want to acknowledge that he exists, yet he strangely will tell you all these tales of “girls being all over THE DELLNER.” After you walk away, tired of his bullshit stories and horrible scent he will either make his way back to your fridge, or call a fellow beer hoarding firefighter to help him with his task. If you dont spot these guy’s coming in, you can definetely catch them on the way out. They tend to leave parties early so they can get to the next house that still has beer in the fridge.

  81. Kent says:

    This is hilarious post .

    The worst kind are :

    The music freak : He or She who thinks your music collection sucks and has been pro active to get his fucking ipod with music which spoils the entire mood since no wants to dance or hear that crap .

    The you tube/face book freak : Who’s only objective at the party is to create trouble so that he can use his cell phone or camera to record everything .

    The ultimate party pooper : The ultimate freak who will get drunk , fart , shout , piss , vomit , break stuff , set fire , hit on all the women and who will eventually nearly kill himself or everyone around him so that you have to call 911 .
    God bless us all if we come across this freak twice let alone once .

  82. zwyrok says:

    yea, i remember this one guy, that scored an epic ruination one time.

    he was the “nobody knows him” and “way to old” guy, who lived across the street and heard the music, so came by with beer. After a while he started talking about some ID froud shit and started asking people to show him their IDs, so everyone thought he was an undercovered cop looking for underaged drinkers and predators (both presnt at he party)

    so, first, all the chicks and the rest of <21 went home(like 3/4 of the party), then we asked the guy to leave (using a fist, when talking showed no sense). he came back 10 minutes later with a knife, and banged at our door swearing. cops came, he got arrested, our party became a headline in next days newspaper, which was kinda cool.

    he’s still doing time as far as i know

  83. chris says:

    How about the Party Critic…

    This is the guy/gal who goes out 6-7 times each week and tells everyone your party is “lame” while the one they went to last night/week was great. The good news – your party is great too and will be reported that way a week from now at someone elses “lame-o”

  84. kyle says:

    # gENERAL Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 3:03 pm

    :# Anil Dikshit Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 1:52 pm

    What about the creepy guy who’s way too old to be there?

    # anonymous Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

    Naw I’m not too old I’m too awesome

    BEST POST IN THE HISTORY OF HT!!!

    says alot about this website.

  85. Anonymous says:

    What about the pyro who likes to start a fire, this is the person who always has a lighter and thinks that Zippos are the best invention…..and we call angry dude, “likes to fight guy”

  86. Dane says:

    Well, this won’t be much of a party then. Who am I suppose to invite??

  87. Anonymous says:

    what about the guy/girl that recognizes everyone at the party from myspace or facebook even though they’ve never even spoken a word to them in real life?

  88. Jensen says:

    How about the couple that drive his & hers Priuses that get like 100MPG and they HAVE to talk about it. Who invited them anyway?

  89. Anonymous says:

    you can’t forget the people with the mentally challenged siblings who you have to walk on eggshells around all night because they take offense to phrases such as “you’re retarded” or “shut the hell up you damn window licker”

  90. no i didnt says:

    That one kid who is a minor but swears up and down that hes 21 but when cops are mentioned its “shit, can i hide in your closet”

  91. viju says:

    photos just awesome!

  92. jrock says:

    My favorite is always the girl-who-becomes-part-of-the-couch. She is dragged along by a group of girls that want to bring as many girls as possible so they look like the cool group. This girl is always found attached to the couch without a single drink in a 5 foot radius around her. If you make the mistake of sitting in the the only available spot next to her, she scrunches up so no part of your fun can rub off. She always has a face that looks like she has crap on her top lip. She never says anything bad about the party. She never says anything at all. But her aura sucks all the life out the room. She has pennyloafers on.

    The only way to combat her is to make her the center of attention by giving her a lapdance. If she does not want to join the party, bring the party to her. Get the fat, sweaty guy to do it. All the girls that came with her will join in with dollars. Make sure to have a camera ready as the pictures will be worth alot when she finally snaps and kills her 3 children and herself because she cant keep a man for some reason.

  93. Gogo says:

    very nice – my favorite is the cleaning guy

  94. Goat Boy says:

    You just need like 10 #7′s for a good party. At least, that’s all I need. Shenannigans begin!

  95. Mac says:

    Funny but Danny Glover didn’t wake up in the bathroom in Saw, it was Cary Elwes and Leigh Whannell.

  96. bigtone says:

    ok now you need to do one about black party totally diffrent story.

  97. Nate S. says:

    How about the guy that shows up to your party not knowing anyone there (including you) only to walk up to you later saying “hey man, want a cd?” only to hand you a bunt cd with your handwriting entitled “nate’s backed up classic rock/funk.”

    Thankfully I am friends with ‘Angry Guy’ who promptly decked the guy followed by ‘girl who thinks it is ok to pour a beer on someone’ and then the guy was escorted out by the ‘group of people you just met but all think you are so cool for some reason so they “have your back”‘

  98. Mehhhh says:

    9 = Guy who gets drunk and picks fights

  99. Porkfork says:

    How bout the snob bitch friend (the cock blocker). Every time u get remotely close to any of her friends she always has a smart ass comment for you or drags her friends off just when you start talking to one of them. The reason why all her friends are single.

  100. Naked Guy's Friend says:

    Someone in Pittsburgh Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 4:05 pm
    You might also like to include the drank to much and am now naked person.

    I see this in similar quantaties between the sexes and I see one of these people at least every other party.

    ———————————————————————-

    Yeah i see this a lot.. lol im only 15 so they get really immature. one time a kid was doing the helicopter with his cock and the kid throwing the party’s mom came down and saw the twirling fallace

  101. aaron, of course says:

    You forgot about the couple that had been going out since they were like 12 but just broke up last Tuesday. Over the years she grew to be REALLY hot but didn’t know it ’cause she was stuck with Regular Guy. (Think Winnie and What’s His Face from the Wonder Years.) They both come to the party but she’s with a jock/rocker/young millionaire stud who is the total opposite of her former loser boyfriend. He’s your homie, so you feel for him, but at the same time you just know things turned out the best for her, and her new guy has her pulling stunts in the bedroom that Regular Guy doesn’t even know, and would be shocked to find out she liked or would even be willing to try.

    Regular Guy tries to act like he’s cool with everything by talking to his ex and her date, but you just never know at what point he’s going to totally lose his shit and turn into # 7,5,4 or a really messed up #3 or just start a fight and get his ass kicked.

  102. Bosco says:

    I think I’ve been each of those people at least once…..except the guy who cleans up all night…..I mean really, fuck that.

  103. zwyrok says:

    reading this site i see there’s a huge difference the way americans and europeans party – u seem used to people getting naked at the party and stuff.
    i’m not, and frankly, all those WildEuropeanSexParties.com sites base on superstition, that u guys are them puritans from mayflower, but couple hundred years later, and europeans are are crazy sex freaks that stayed

  104. Mr. G says:

    You completely forgot: Overly Competitive Drinking Game Guy. You’ll usually find him at the Beer-Pong table getting irate over the other player’s move. He’ll start to get violently angry over the specific rules, especially when he himself gets called on violating them. He’ll either start a fight, or the other player will just drop out of the game because they’re tired of his constant griping. Other challengers will immediately withdraw their challenges and he will be left at the table yelling for people to come play against him.

    Also Persona-non-grata DJ. The guy who insists on playing his esoteric musical tastes that usually have a tempo that’s non conducive to a party atmosphere. No matter how many people tell him his music sucks he will not give up command of the stereo

  105. whynot says:

    How about the guy that stands at the keg pumping/pouring everyone’s cup. He will in time (3-4times a hour) make sounds while pumping the keg that the keg is his penis.

    and never forget the bitch that brings a camera to take pics of her with a Mikes hard in her hand standing with other people. Its bad enough that she brought the camera but she is the only that takes a picture. Holding the camera at arms length. “now everyone hold up the alcohol and act like we are too cool. And cheese”. Why doesnot “guy at the end of the night” ruthie her so she never comes back. You can even take pictures of the event if you like.

  106. zwyrok-wtf? says:

    i have been to european college parties when i studied abroad for one year. I would not say what you are saying is typical. Of coarse, what do i know…i dont spend my days surfing the internet looking for places to put referances of my website. Still a real lame and european way to promote a site. Good luck with that.

  107. PHONE OPERATOR HAN SOLO says:

    NEVER *NEVER* GET A WOOKIE DRUNK!! LooL361

  108. Jimmy Jay Jay says:

    The guy that pisses me off is Mr. Excitement.

    All the brain dead chicks want to bang him because he says he’s surfed in Fiji, climbed mountains in some asian country and jumped out of airplanes. Everything is extreme with this guy, he drinks gatorade, eats beef jerky and wears a baseball hat backwards, has a fake tan and owns like 1000 pairs of khaki pants and printed shirts. All of this extremeness and orange skin still doesn’t stop him from being an extreme douche bag.

    Everything this guy says starts with MAN or DUDE!

    All the extreme bimbos want Mr. Excitement. Course you find out that the guy actually works at the gap or taco bell and the extreme act is just to get laid.

    Course the guy that keeps reaching into his pants and adjusting his stuff is pretty annoying too. Why does he keep sniffing his fingers?

  109. Bobby Bowden bangs black chicks says:

    What about the guy who says a rascist joke when a person of that race is within earshot?

  110. doggydog says:

    What about the couple who have been together for like 10 yrs and don’t know how to have fun anymore. They haven’t been out the house for like 8 of those years and everytime the guy starts talking to someone the girl says something like,” thanks for leaving me alone,” “who was THAT?!” Don’t let it be a female or the guys doomed. Then his girlfriend turns into the crying chick in the bathroom but it is the guy trying to get her out because everyone else is yelling,” hey bitch get out the bathroom!” Then he finally drags her out then they leave…

    ALL THIS HAPPENS USUALLY IN ONE HOUR OF BEING THERE!!

  111. Laughing says:

    I’m still laughing at the image of TrustMe’s asshole having a “tip”. You must have one seriously fucked up asshole, dude!

  112. deacon9 says:

    living in the south, theres always the drunk redneck that nobody invited , shows up because he works with somebody that you had to invite, then corners you and starts crying because of the early demise of ”THE GREATEST F–KING RACE CAR DRIVER EVER BORN, THE INTIMIDATOR”

  113. mrfun says:

    What about “Mr. Switcheroo”? This is the guy who shows up to the party with a 12 pack of Keystone Light or Pabst Blue Ribbon. He sticks his beer in the fridge and proceeds to drink all your Guinness or Newcastle Brown Ale. Hours later when you go to get a beer…. yours are all gone but, there is an untouched 12 pack of PBR sitting in the back of the fridge.

  114. darthV says:

    I think that almost every person has been accounted for here, except

    the guy who stopped smoking a million times, that didn’t bring any smokes and bums cigarettes all night, swears he will get you back the next day and never does

    where to find him/her: usually outside talking all night about obscure references

    why he will ruin you party: eventually ends up telling a way deep secret that is then told at every party you ever go to.

  115. Rich Hudson says:

    At or near the number one spot should be DOG PEOPLE — people who bring their f*cking dog to your party and expect you to let it tromp around your house all night, knocking over lamps and eating food off of coffee tables. LEAVE YOUR EFFING DOGS AT HOME, PEOPLE!

  116. bananatiwi says:

    let us not forget the person who decides to striptease or so they think that s what it s called, and are just a messy mess.

  117. Gonzo says:

    Here you go: The sober guy: insisting on not drinking even a single drop of alcohol during the entire party.
    Instead he drinks gallons of juice and soda you prepared for mixing your drinks.
    He ends up sitting in a corner being a creep that smiles ironically at all drunk people around him.

  118. Great stuff. I like this story. So true.

  119. PRO PARTY GUY says:

    HOW ABOUT THE GUY or GIRL WHO SMELLS LIKE ASS WHO KEEPS
    STINKING UP THE PARTY!!!

    WHO LET THEM IN ANYWAY!!

    ANYONE WHO GOES TO A PARTY WITHOUT WASHING THEIR ASS
    REALLY SHOULD NOT BE AT A PARTY!!

    THEY SHOULD BE SOMEWHERE WASHING THEIR ASS!!

  120. HolySnap says:

    The “I have zero concept of limits or etiquette” guy.

    Where you can find him: all over the f*cking place, repeatedly making a fool of himself.

    Why he’ll ruin your party: upon learning of the impending party and having absolutely no concept of limits, he begins by ingesting an absurd amount of alcohol for his bodyweight prior to the commencement of the party.

    As the evening progresses, his demeanor becomes increasingly socially unacceptable until people start asking who the hell that guy is and who’d be stupid enough to bring him there: as a result, you’re impossibly embarassed to be associated with him and hope nobody realizes that you’re the one who made the mistake of inviting him.

    Possessing no knowledge of acceptable behavior in a public setting, he interrupts and interjects in conversations, picks random friendly fights with people three times his size, performs martial arts and other acrobatic shit that nobody asked for or cares about, rolls around on the floor and hits on girls out of his league by an exponential factor, all the while thinking they want his junk.

    Usually ends the night completely wasted and requiring assistance for even the most rudimentary of tasks, instantly revealing you to be the guilty party responsible for ruining everybody else’s night. Stories of his tales survive to this day.

  121. SkiBum says:

    How about all the assholes that find it necessary to point out every possibly archetype out there for a person who may or may not show up at a party. I was personally going to suggest the guy who got bitten by a zombie while eating BK out of a dumpster behind a tampon factory, but I’m pretty sure at least one of the people above me must have covered it.

  122. Assholerules says:

    You know the guy who take a bottle of wine to the party , only that the wine is mixed with his piss , then take another piss in the punch bowl when no ones looking , goes to the bathroom and sprays all the expensive perfume on himself ,
    maybe even steals some of the bottles if he is in a good mood and then seduces a hot chicks by pretending that he is a cool open minded gay guy who has never slept with a woman and ends up having a threesome with them in the your parents bedroom and
    after that gets up in the morning and takes a dump near you so that you realise that you are having a smelly nightmare and that you are so fucked that you don’t even know that .

    By the way you are having a smelly nightmare because you drank lots of that wine filled with piss . Beware of such party freaks like me and by the way looking forward to more such parties :-) good luck motherfucking host , time to buy some more expensive perfume bottles ;-0

  123. Nate says:

    WTF , WHICH PLANET HAVE YOU COME FROM ASSHOLERULES !!!

  124. Mathias says:

    I think I have met most of these people at parties but thank god that I ahve nevermet Assholerules , lol

  125. Bonzo says:

    Love the pics ,what about the guy who finishes everything in the fridge secretly when no ones looking and then pretends that he is hungry and ask you if there is something to eat !

  126. Jimyjim says:

    You know , this post eminds me of the worst kind , the ones who smell and fart all the time and your party smells like a fucking oil refinery

  127. PhiLLy in DaLLaS says:

    I’m usually #7 but I usually last about 2-3 hours. Hilarious article and the comments were funny as hell too…there’s some funny mufu’s out there.

  128. Jman says:

    hello there to all funny people who do funny things and make life for all us very intersting at parties ,

  129. Billy says:

    I was usually the first guy impressing people with my knowledge , philosphy and wisdom . But time and experince has made me the third guy , now I impress them with my dick in their ass , lol

  130. Anonymous says:

    howbout the backstabber. the one person who will talk to one person then move to the next group and bitch until their blue in the face about the person they just talked to. then when they dont give a shit more and to the next victim D:

    or the guy who drinks and by the time everyones wasted. is still standing as sober as when you started. then calls you all lightweights.

  131. I will now hide my toothbrush at all parties I throw, thanks to that comment that one person left.

  132. Anonymous says:

    the still stuck in high school people? nothing’s worse than going back home a few years (anywhere from 4 to 10) after high school and see the kid who still lives in town (possibly with his folks and possibly works for his dad) and wants to reminisce on the “glory days” of senior year and how he’s “so close to bagging that associates in business” from the local community college. life moved on. you didn’t. we’re going to stand over here now.

  133. number231 says:

    How about the masked stranger that stalks and dispatches party guests one by one as they separate from the group for sex and or drugs? Slowly whittling the party guests and nosy neighbor to one attractive girl, the stranger will disappear mysteriously after the last girl knocks him unconscious and runs away, dropping the only weapon she has.

    That guy sucks.

  134. Who I ask says:

    Well who the fk do you want at your party?
    Tool old??..too young??, too this too that…..I would’nt come to your fkn party, or any of you people’s party,,,,I was laughing at the article,,and then read the cooments..and you are a bunch of mean spirted bad karma “no ones”. Humans are all different..and it makes it fun,,unless you FEEL THE NEED TO CLASSIFY AND JUDGE..piss off!! you are all nothings …… and I was going to say, thanks for the laugh until the comments turned ugly …. you all are a waste of air. please perish from the panet, SOON!!

  135. Lol Cat says:

    O Hai

  136. What's Life? person says:

    There’s also the person, guy or girl, that starts the conversation about the meaning of “Life.” “What is the true meaning of Life?” That person’s annoying because u don’t want to talk about that and they trickle to everyone about their opinion of “Life” and it has the potential to overtake the party. Man, just let me drink and enjoy the party.

  137. Who I ask Says says:

    I want to apologize to everyone on the list for the rude and ugly comments in my earlier post. After a few moments reflection, I realized that I was being an asshole and criticizing others by calling them “no ones” and “nothings”. I was classifying and judging others just like I accused others of doing. My comments were “mean spirited” and “bad karma” towards everyone else on the list who were just trying to have a good time and laugh about life. Perhaps I need to watch some of the late night comedians and learn how to laugh at myself and not take things so seriously.

    Now I finally realize why I have no friends and am never invited to parties, even my own.

  138. :D says:

    how about the guy who can no longer talk but still insists on talking, for a very very long time. haha
    and what about the person who is acting drunk, but is obviously not and just trying to get attention.

  139. Heather says:

    How about the guy at the party who needs primer on web basics. How about being a professional and asking permission to use photos.

    http://library.thinkquest.org/J001570/Permissionhow.html
    Tell them what kind of help you need. For example, ” I am writing for permission to use images or information from your website. I wonder if you have images or information about ____ that I could use for our website project.

  140. androo says:

    just from reading the comments this list could have been the “50 people who will ruin your party”… overall a good list!

  141. Flubber says:

    I still like to whack off on peoples toothbrushes and I have AIDS! I’ll show them bitches!

  142. Floober says:

    I still like to whack off on peoples toothbrushes and I have AIDS! I’ll show them bitches!

  143. Jaybird says:

    Here are some of mine,

    1) The guy who brings a “party survival kit”
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: He will often arrive in the middle of the party with a backpack full of random liquor bottles like Cuervo, 151, etc. along with a deck of cards and maybe a shot glass or two.
    WHY HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: He will spend all of his time trying to get people to take part in a drinking game but no one seems interested. Then he will proceed to educate people on how to play Hockey five million times and then ends up getting pissed when he is the one riding the bus.

    2) The Guy who has a high school girlfriend
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: This guy is either in his second or third year of college and is still seeing the girl he was dating in high school. He will typically sit on the couch and show pictures of his girlfriend in his wallet to the “sensitive girls” and then proceed to talk about the good old days in his hometown.
    HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: Girls will eventually find out he is creepy and then spread their thoughts to the rest of the people at the party, leading him to be all alone at the end of the couch drinking a Mikes Hard Lemonade.

    3) The Babysitter
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND THEM: This person may also be No. 8, but he or she spends most of the night trying to help wasted people who can’t walk anymore into the bathroom so they can puke.
    HOW THEY WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: The person will ultimately be the bore of the party by excessively complaining to the host/hostess that “so-and-so” had too much to drink and someone should call for help.

    4) The Frat Guy
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM: He will often wear the same sweatshirt with his Fraternity’s greek symbol everyday of the week and spend the night trying to recruit unsuspecting guys into his fraternity. The girls will become repulsed by him after he is caught several times trying to touch their asses.

    5) The Hippy-Chick
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND HER: She will come to the party wearing Avril Lavigne type clothes with red-dyed hair and then will complain about everything that is wrong with the world. She will later be found bitching out the Political Guy.

    6) The Stealer
    WHERE YOU CAN FIND HIM: He is not seen nor heard much at the party except when you first see him walk through the door. The host/hostess doesn’t really notice he hasn’t been seen at the party in awhile.
    HOW HE WILL RUIN YOUR PARTY: The next morning when you wake up hungover, you realize money is missing from your wallet and some of your possessions are missing.

  144. :) says:

    The guy that double-dips.

    (i.e., the guy that puts it in brownie and then in tuna).

  145. Someone in Pittsburgh says:

    @FTW Yes that is usualy why this person ruins things.

    Gennerally the sexualy attractive in the party wait untill afterward to strip bare. Unless the theme of the party is a Roman orgy or something like a “underwear” party.

  146. holycow says:

    i am mos def guy number 1, 3, 6, 7 and sometime even girl number 5

  147. Clever :P says:

    In other words: Just call people who watches 10+ hours of television and keeps saying “Carpe Diem: live as if there’s no tomorrow”, though they are afraid of everything. I mean, just call idiots who lacks character but think they have a strong personality because they have “attitude”, or anything the media says.

  148. L;H,H H G V says:

    G.LPTFJFJJFJJEEJDMRJRJEEKLEKFMGMTM SHSHXBW IW NW2QKJ VNVMVGMFKGKFJKXNJKB DND DIKSW WOKW FJ EKGNFJVFK IEBIWHBXFC COIGJLBJKMKFKFOFJRJRJJRJRJGUJRJDJGUEJHJFNHFGKHJDJNGJFJFJFBFNFHGNFJFJGNGNGNNRBRJDNDBXSBV S CHDF FJFKJFNDJHGHGNHFNHDFHDFHFDHDFHRHRJHFNHFHFHFRHBFJB FNDBFHFHFHFHFGHBFHFHCHFBFNFNBGBNFBGBHGGHDVDS CSEGFMFMFJTNGKGMRNFGGJVJFGJHNGMF S WHRNDBDCVCZSBGSFGWGG2GHDHFNHFBBF HGBFGNGB HJGBJGJGTHTJYMMHKGJGJGJGJGYJTKTJ RTORHRJYJTJTNTJHTNTHRRTHHTHTHTJTJHHTDHDURHTJTHTHTNBTJTHTTHTHRJHRHN

  149. beentheredonethat says:

    or the “that chick”
    who seems to spend 8 hours getting ready for the party. and as she drinks she seems to loose her clothes.. and makes out with one of her girlfriends. to suduce men. because they need attention and have no self worth for themselves.

    or the ” i think im stacys mom chick”
    the chicks who get into the pool trying to look really hot and wet. when in reality all of their makeup runs off and they smell and look like wet dogs.

    those two catagory seem to be linked, you’ll find girls from either one belonging to the other.

    or the loud mouth attention getting whoreish slut in heels. and looks at everyone after she says something. trying to make a face that sheee thinks is sexy. and trys to flirt with the friend of the guy that likes her. to boost her ego.

  150. Eli says:

    I’m not sure if anyone posted this, because fuck reading all those damn comments.

    But.. You forgot to add the guy who gets drunk and thinks he knows EVERYTHING. This guy could also be known as the guy who gets in fights over the stupidest fucking thing, and is usually a #7.

    Oh, and people, stop fucking saying what # you are. If you’re on that list, never go to a fuckin’ party again. Nobody likes you there.

  151. any mouse says:

    Nothing will kill a party faster than “the fighting couple”. The couple who can not spend more than five minutes together without fighting, and who should have broken up ages ago.

    Also, the douchbag who can’t have more than one beer without picking a fight – usually with a stranger so that all of his friends have to get involved too.

  152. ernie says:

    the black guy

  153. cornhole says:

    How about the chick that sucks down jello-shots with both hands then barfs rainbows on your livingroom carpet?

  154. Yep says:

    Loud Fat Chick- She wears really colourful or semi-goth clothes. She always wears glasses and has some little girl type hair-clips in her hair. She is “best friends” with some guy and she gets really drunk and tries to make out with said guy. Then cries when he’s all; “Whoaaaaa… no way.”

    The Two Teenage Girls- One of them is the little sister of your friend and she brings her little friend. They are waaaaay too dressed up and have smeared a shit load of make up on. They get totally “wasted” on one drink and spend the rest of the evening trying to chat some older guy and can be heard laughing too loud and screaming; “Oh my god I know!” to everything said to them.

    Person With Bad Body Odor- Who sits next to you on the couch and tries to have a “deep and meaningful”.

    Bitchy Group Of Girls- They stand in a corner or huddle on the couch and spend the whole night glaring and having a bitch about everyone. They bitch about how the party is shit, but never leave.

    The I Used To Be A Junky But Then I found Jesus Guy- Who invited you?

  155. barndogg says:

    LOL.

    Some classics right there.

  156. Radium says:

    F*ck this shit. Why is everybody so f*cking angry. Geezus, don’t you know that we are all f*cking idiots. Piss on these f*cking k*nts. We don’t need them at our parties. Just relax and enjoy the moment. What are you taking …?

  157. ernie says:

    Oops, I meant to say Green guy? Sorry bout the typo. I’m just a racist, prejudiced pig.

  158. L;H,H H G V says:

    Geez, did I fall asleep at the keyboard. I have no idea what I said. Please forgive me. I’m just an average, single virgin k*nt who doesn’t know sh*t about the nternet. Please invite me to your next party!!

  159. General Chicken Says Says says:

    Jim Rome Promo!!!

    woot!

  160. Anonymous says:

    I can’t stand “Abercrombie Guy” that just got a spray-on tan. He has his hair done at a salon and there were rumors that he is working on a modeling career. When he bends over to tie his shoe laces he strikes a pose like he’s at a photo shoot. And his t-shirt is obviously two sizes too small. Then he explains to everyone why they should be drinking Michelob Ultra like he does.

  161. Dn says:

    Forgot to add the chick that won’t let anyone drive home because they’ll all die. Usually this chick recently had a boyfriend, relative or friend that was in a drunk driving accident. She’s the one that eventhough I had 2 beers ALL night, she is trying to take my keys.

  162. Anonymous says:

    What about the guy who crashes his car into another car leaving the party and the neighbors call the cops and nobody will come to your parties for 6 months.

    Or the guy who gets really drunk and cuts himself and bleeds all over your couch?

  163. Butt Plug says:

    I am the guy who shows up and fists everybody’s ass when they aren’t looking. Then I set the house on fire and slash everybody’s tires.

  164. junebug says:

    well any parent who brings a baby THAT small to a designated party is not a good parent. If it’s just friends coming over for a visit that’s fine… but if you planned a party then find a friggen babysitter if you want to go. I would never take my babies to a party.

  165. this is prob the most funny shit ive read for a while

  166. Radium says:

    Sh*t this is NOT funny asshole. We are just a bunch of dumb f*cks who have NO LIFE and are looking for a PARTY!!!

    Who pays for this sh*t anyway? Google Ads? Somebody’s got to be bringing in the dough to pay for this dumb sh*t.

    No way, the FAT CHICK is NOT going to sit on my f*ce.

    btw, I didn’t fall asleep at the keyboard and have no f*cking # (whatever?).

  167. mynuts says:

    what about the guy that analyzes parties instead of just drinking…..

  168. Lori says:

    Wow,

    What goofs you all are. If you want to act like animals, go live in a zoo. You are all scary losers with no common sense or class. Pathetic people, you are just as bad or worse then all the other goofs you are commenting on. Are you even capable of respecting yourselves or others? What a sad way you people think and behave.

  169. Alex says:

    lol ‘goofs’. Looks like someone got burned by the list eh?

  170. Anonymous says:

    lori if you’re gonna say something make it count.

  171. Anonymous says:

    what about the girl who hates confrontations and can’t stand when people are getting picked on so she tries to make people feel bad for doing so… sounds like lori

  172. RPO says:

    Hysterical post, the political guy description was dead on.

  173. No Name says:

    “until your done”

    Nice spelling, asshole!

  174. Kazelpyc says:

    Hi webmaster!

  175. Kazeltdk says:

    Hi webmaster!

  176. Greg says:

    Listen, enjoy your party, if I pass out in the first hour n half and not harming anyone or anything, then leave be, walk over if possible. Just give me a slap before the party clears out and all will be fine. No need to play hero and orchestrate a drama scene.

  177. Speedball says:

    Man, These are awesome posts from our American friends. A truly great site. I am the Irish guy who is not ‘Irish enough’ for the Irish Americans in the party.

  178. paresh says:

    interesting, thanks for sharing.

  179. Curious says:

    Your parties must be a blast! Never invite people who make too much mess, clean up messes, nobody too happy, too sad, too angry, too opinionated. Noone who drinks too much, who is too fat, too bitchy, who wants to pick anyone up, who doesn’t know anyone, or who wants to be the center of attention. Who’s left? A bunch of vanilla people trying to fit in with each other?

  180. Fascinated says:

    What about the born-again Christian who just talks about what his Church group just did, making you uncomfortable about swearing like a sailor and engaging in “heathen”-like party activities.

  181. Had to comment says:

    I hate that every hot girl has a DUFF (Designated Ugly Fat Friend.) It is upsetting but inevitable. I don’t see how DUFFs survive in this world.

    I hate the drama bitch who gets “drunk” off 2 Smirnoff’s and says she is going to drive home to see who will stop her, the guy who tries never gets laid. Nice guys DO finish last, when things get repeated over and over by different people they tend to be true.

  182. WebDrops says:

    Nice post !! enjoyed reading it… m sure writing this post might have taken loads of thought… ;) But I really petty the “Person Who Only Knows You “… poor fellow

  183. Politics Guy says:

    DAMN! I’m politics guy. Didn’t think it was so bad. Sorry everyone, I’ll try to expand my exotic porn collection so I have 2 things to talk about.

  184. Bongo says:

    I am the guy who fucks yours mom while your are trying to flirt with the woman who is a she male .

  185. Anonymous says:

    Wonder why there are so many comments on this subject? Two words…JIM freakin ROME!!! He is god and has made your site famous. Your welcome for the karma even if you don’t know what the hell I’m talking about.

    war BISP showing up to everyones party who reads this

    signed,
    a clone in Akron, OH

  186. Budday says:

    JJ BANKS, for the win.

  187. Anonymous says:

    What about the girl who brings the camera and wants to take pictures with EVERYBODY and EVERY stage of the party?

    Where to find her: With her arm around everyone (especially guys) and a camera at an arm’s length away.

    Why she will ruin your party: The day after the party, she’ll post all of the pictures on facebook with stupid captions like. “OMG i was soooooooo drunk lol” and “gettin my drank on!” Also, they will be terrible pictures that are out of focus or people’s heads are chopped off because she was too drunk to delete the bad ones. Your drunkenness will be forever immortalized…at least, until the next party she goes to, that is.

  188. Bsti says:

    Why do people insist on adding to a list that has a finite number? This is 8, not 80.

  189. eyes_o9001 says:

    hahahahahaha,lol i really enjoyed all ur posts.all those are facts..but in the end,that’s why it called a party.

  190. ckseminole says:

    The replys as always funnier then the post! But nothing more annoying then the ones snorting Coke! You know who you are. Always repeating yourselves. Talking about nothing , over and over and over again. You suck!

  191. jack says:

    What about the Married Gropers? A few drinks and they can’t talk to or walk by anyone(except their spouse) without copping a quick feel? They often become Inexplicably Naked people

  192. mugen says:

    Pirates you forgot Pirates

  193. Plexifoil says:

    What about the chick that is always picking fights that her boyfriend has to finish.

  194. Plexifoil says:

    and I really hate E-tards!!!!!

  195. I was once the crying girl... says:

    but not anymore thanks to weed.

  196. This article http://jetzt.sueddeutsche.de/texte/anzeigen/443432 is a nearly 1:1 copy of yours. Maybe you should drop them a line about copyrights…

  197. Kazelvzj says:

    Hi webmaster!

  198. Kazelsuj says:

    Hi webmaster!

  199. Ripper says:

    I’m #13. The one who bangs the hostess while her boyfriend’s downstairs, bringing the party to an abrupt end, finishing their relationship and ensuring it’s the last party she’ll throw there again.

    And lol at the bitches who don’t even realise they’re on the list. That’s all of you.

  200. Anonymous says:

    ‘the fighting couple’ they can kill a party so fast! They go outside or into a room and yell at each other and now any one that knows them starts talking about them all night!!!!! The fighting couple infects every conversation and makes people sad (especially if there married or been going out for ever).

  201. the dude says:

    i’m the weird guy who knows a lot of people by name and comes in very early on in the party, probably stoned. i pay the 3-5 bucks for a cup if i have the cash and maybe drink a couple refills if i’m not too stoned. i say hi to people i know, make some conversation, and leave within the hour. probably to go get more stoned.

    i end up at the coffee shop on the corner by the bars chain smoking, maybe with other high kids, and probably see people who left the party to go bar-hopping. if i’m coffee’d enough to balance the stoned, i’ll go in and split a pitcher with the bar-goers. if it’s ladies i don’t go because who wants to buy drinks for three times a reasonable price when you can split a god damn domestic pitcher and then go home and smoke a bowl? not me. plus, i’m ugly.

  202. mooka mooka says:

    how about the guy who is single and feels like you or any other guy at the party should choose “bros before ho’s” because he can’t interact with girls and tries to horde all the guys to himself like a creep.

    I live with someone whose #8 last time we had a party here she went through the room and gathered every item that belonged to a member of the party and walked up to them and asked where they wanted it. Then went up to me and was like “you’re going to throw all these beer cans away right?

    Or the asshole who gets a rise out of taking all the “empties” and hiding them all over the house

    there is always a girl crying by the end of a party. I fucking hate it

  203. Tollipop says:

    lol

    lol

  204. Glenn says:

    # SoLinkable Says:
    July 29th, 2008 at 4:42 pm

    There is ALWAYS somebody there who is waaaay too old. ALWAYS.

    Get off my lawn!

  205. withheld says:

    I am that fast-drunk guy. Once I passed out, came to (still very drunk) and apparently, as per next day’s account, came, sat at the dining table chair, started taking off my trouser and pants when my friends realized I was imagining the place to be the bowl.

    Before creating damage, I was transported to appropriate location. I am that guy you don’t want at a party.

  206. yo says:

    Too funny – I have witnessed or been many of these archtypal party people. You never wanna hear – “are those your burners hanging from the trees?” either. I don’t throw parties any more.

  207. wrrocky says:

    then there’s those who decide that there must be an upstairs, proceed to climb through the attic hatch inevitably falling through the ceiling.

  208. nickdog says:

    Naw DUDE the drunk on a mission is the BEST! Target aquired mission launch! I love the guy who ALWAYS has to hook up with a girl by the end of the night. As girls leave the quality goes down and he gets desprite eventually hooking up with the whale beast from the flogar nebula! HAHHA and then the next morning you wake to clean and you see him alone on the couch because in the morning he realized a creature (which should have been put to death at birth) is sleeping next to him so he gets up and gets the hell out of there!

  209. No no says:

    Very funny! I always like the person cleaning up too early. I would always have them get me more drinks. It is a great service they provide, really they are the waiters and waitresses of the party. They clean up, they bring me drinks.

  210. Tommy says:

    What about the guy who comes to the party that popped 3 ecstasy pills and needs serious help the whole fucking time.

  211. LD says:

    I think after reading all of these, it’s fair to say everyone who goes to a party is bound to ruin it somehow.

  212. Johnny says:

    Wow,This whole thing is the party…all the anal sphinctorians are here.

  213. Chantix says:

    There all just HILARIOUS!! The girl who only knows you can be very annoying when you’re trying to mingle and there looking absolutely miserable.

  214. orale says:

    i am the old guy who’s popular and all the chicks dig me

    but yes none the less, i am the old guy! :(

  215. turkeychoke says:

    I’m the peaceful pothead!

  216. turkeychoke says:

    … the old guys never get it….sad, and still creepy

  217. terry wagar says:

    Joan Wagar and Eric Carlson, A,K,A, Doubleclick and Mrs Dash,( yes those are there nicknames they gave each other.) admited to poisoning me while I was a plasma donor back in 2005.
    Eric carlson pedofied me behind prison walls and then framed me as a pedophile on march 26th 2007, I caught the crime on a audio recorder I put in Joan’s purse.
    there were people in authority helping them with this and nobody in authority will help they pretend nothing happened and refuse to investigate this.
    Eric carlson changed his hair color and his name but this is not hidden, only ignored by the authority’s and media
    Im disabled from being poisoned and the hospitals refuse to admit Im poisoned.
    My Family is in danger from these people and I have no other recorse but to make these charges public.
    My name is Terry Wagar,Im from portland oregon and Im backing up these charges.

  218. TERRY WAGAR IS A MEME NOW ARE YOU HAPPY says:

    TERRY WAGAR IS A MEME NOW ARE YOU HAPPY

  219. You guys missed the Redneck who chews tobacco and spits it into a cup or bottle and always leaves it on a table. Someone will accidentally drink the spit and tobacco juice or spill it on your furniture!

  220. Anonymous says:

    LOL the creepy guy in the picture IS creepy.
    major creep vibes. LOL though.

  221. Anonymous says:

    I’m the person who ruins it for my parents and siblings at Christmas because I’m pressured to be there, and I really can’t stand them.

  222. Ha! Regarding the tobacco spitting comment, I guess it all depends on where you are from, can’t say I’ve ever seen that one.

  223. Anonymous says:

    lol. yay. haha. okay.

  224. PartyPEople says:

    hahaha yeah i think the fighting couple who always ruin everything because everyone has to get involved to help out their friend, the guy who always breaks shit, and girl who take pictures like shes paparazzi should be added.

  225. D~ says:

    also what about the 25 yr old guy who brings the 14 year old.

  226. Late to the Party says:

    I know this post is a year late, but how about the “one-upper” guy who has a better story, or the drink mixer, who never drinks but likes to brag about how they make the best cocktails just by adding 3x the booze.

  227. Avenir says:

    U know guys I just want to say hello :) Keep in touch ;) .
    I am from Cambodia and , too, and now am writing in English, please tell me right I wrote the following sentence: “Therefore, a font is a particular casting of a typeface belonging to that a font was more granular than just the variant of a typeface – each size of.Windows forms applications support truetype fonts and have.”

    :P Thanks in advance. Glynis.

  228. Anonymous says:

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