Half of everyone on Twitter is a fake entity (and probably follows Newt Gingrich). Of those fake people, a small portion are bots who will hilariously talk to you when you say some random thing. Let’s check out some of the best one.
Trigger: Type the name of actor Michael Rooker
What’s it say: You’ve just been rookered
Pointless Anecdote: We stumbled on this bot after the last episode of the Walking Dead when, expressing our overall dissatisfaction on Twitter, we lamented that the producers better not bring back actor Michael Rooker as the Governor. Low and behold, Rooker bot was there to Rooker us. But seriously, he better not be the Governor because that’s not the story. That’s not the story, AMC!
Trigger: Mention delicious Canadian non-delicacy poutine
What’s it say: Yummy Poutine
Pointless Anecdote: Seeing as managing editor Ian Fortey is Canadian, he is required by provincial law (ha ha, provinces) to mention poutine once a day. Poutine Bot is an old friend at this point.
Trigger: Say Robocop. Say it.
What’s it say: I’d buy that for a dollar
Pointless Anecdote: We mention Robocop quite often, due to its awesomeness, and the fact that we constantly run afoul of people who look like that red headed guy after he gets doused by the toxic waste. Plus, isn’t it weird that the dad from that 70’s show is the villain?
Trigger: Call someone a socialist. Especially if they deserve it. Also try socialist.
What’s it say: A variety of McCarthy-era propaganda quips
Pointless Anecdote: We called Michael Rooker a socialist and it was like Christmas on Twitter.
Over 9000 bot
Trigger: refer to 9000 in some way.
What’s it say: WHAT?! NINE THOUSAND?!
Pointless Anecdote: I’ve never watched Dragonball Z because I used to have friends.
Trigger: Go ahead, call out Beetlejuice three times.
What’s it say: IT’S SHOWTIME!
Pointless Anecdote: I’ve only called out Beetlejuice once on Twitter and it was in a moment of quiet desperation when I saw what Geena Davis looks like now and wished for Geena Davis the way she looked back then. And in fairness, I could say the same thing about Alec Baldwin.
Trigger: Say Huzzah
What’s it say: Was that a hurrah?
Pointless Anecdote: Huzzah is our go-to term for expressing celebratory feelings and joy. That or the C word.
Trigger: Mention Tuvok. Not likely to happen often.
What’s it say: Pecan pie anyone?
Pointless Anecdote: My parents were big Trek nerds and I have seen every episode of every series, except that ne with Quantum Leap in it. Voyager was the worst Star Trek series and, arguably, one of the worst shows on television ever thanks ot its remarkably lazy story telling. I will never type Tuvok on Twitter again.
Trigger: Fart. Clever, isn’t it?
What’s it say: FART ROBOT APPROVES
Pointless Anecdote: We don’t tweet about farts. We’re high brow.