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The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have

A good roommate can be a great way to keep you company and help split the cost of rent. A bad roommate, on the other hand, is like a case of AIDS. He or she can take away your freedom, independence and ultimately, your will to live, until you are a shell of the person you once were. Here are the nine worst.
9. The Deadbeat
The first of every month this guy is like a broken record, "Hey man…yeah, so, like, my company…they, like, forgot to pay me. So I don’t, like, have any money for, ya know, rent." And he says the same thing when the electric bill, cable bill, or any other bill needs paying. But somehow his total lack of cash doesn’t stop him from going out four nights a week, while you’re stuck eating Ramen noodles and dryer lint just to make ends meet. And whenever you try to explain to him that you can’t always pay for his share, he gets offended, takes a communist stance, and says that if you were in the same position, he would totally help you out. But, unfortunately, Arby’s doesn’t plan to double his $13,000 salary anytime soon.
8. The Food Stealer
We’ve all taken food that didn’t belong to us at some point, but the Food Stealer is on an entirely different level. It’s as if they spent years in an early twentieth century orphanage, learning grifting and slight of hand techniques. If you ever happen to leave any of your food in a common area like “the fridge,” they’ll immediately eat all of it, and then when you ask them about it, they’ll act like a drug dealer being questioned by the cops about a murder.
YOU: So, did you see the Cheez-its that were in the cabinet?
THEM: Cheez-its?
YOU: Yeah, cheez-its, cheesy snacks, look kind of like wheat thins. You know what they are.
THEM: OH. Cheez-its. Nah, don’t know what happened to them.
YOU: But they were here earlier, and now they’re gone.
THEM: That’s unfortunate. Maybe they’re just missin’. (stare down between you and them)
YOU: Gah! I know you did it you son of a bitch!
7. The Party Guy

Every night this guy comes home at five in the morning, with a group of people that all look like the fourth picture in a twelve picture “Faces Of Meth” montage. If the sound of the music blasting doesn’t wake you up, the drunk woman stumbling in to your room and attempting to f*&k her boyfriend on the bed you’re sleeping on does. Inevitably you have to walk out into the living room, and turn down the music, and everyone looks at you like they’re a group of graduate students and you just told them you “don’t really care for Arrested Development.” You tell your roommate you have to be up in two hours, and they’re like “Oh, no way, okay, totally sorry. We’ll turn this down.” Then you head back to your room, and you clearly hear through the wall, your roommate saying “just wait like two minutes and then we’ll pump that shit up again.”
6. The Borrower
They borrow everything from you, and either lose it or use it for something it wasn’t supposed to be used for, leaving you saying things like “It’s cool you borrowed my copy of Shawshank Redemption, but I’d rather you didn’t use it to hold up your dresser. It’s not really a load bearing DVD.” You don’t want to look like an asshole, but before you know it, you’re gingerly asking them to BORROW BACK the things you lent them. “Hey man, I was wondering if I could grab that toothpaste back from you, just cause I ran out of mine. As soon as I buy new toothpaste, I’ll bring it right back.” “Hmmm, I kind of need it tonight and there’s not much left.” “Okay, cool, no worries.”
5. The Gamer
Everyone likes to kick back and blow off some steam and playing video games. But nothing is more annyoing than sharing an apartment’s only television with someone who’s surgically attached to his Xbox and/or PS3. Because the only thing lamer than always playing video games, is having to watch someone always play video games. The problem is, hardcore gamers don’t sleep, or seem to have regular jobs. Which means you’re getting woken up by him screaming into a headset at a seven-year-old in Poland about how his Warlock totally annihilated by his cleric. Or when you get home from work and you just want to watch some mindless TV, but he’s playing Madden by himself so he can "practice running up the middle. Or when you just want to watch the Super Bowl and he "Needs to get to this one last level of Call of Duty so I can save it. Can you listen to the first half on the radio? I’m sure it’s online somewhere."
4. Couch Potato
Remember how you used to like sitting on your couch? Remember how it used to not smell like rotten guacamole? Remember when it wasn’t covered in what looks like various dried bodily fluids and sweat stains? Well those days are over, now that you’re living with a Couch Potato. The Couch Potato roommate is usually a combo roommate, meaning that the Couch Potato will most likely also be The Gamer, The Dead Beat, or (worst of all) The Guy Who’s Girlfriend is Always Over. Either way, this couch is his new home, and there’s no moving him once he’s established it as his territory. Your best plan of action now is to position a garbage can nearby, get a fresh bottle of Febreeze, and learn to like Law & Order (all of them), because he who controls the couch controls the television, and that SVU shit is like Couch Potato heroin.
3. The Guy Whose Girlfriend Is Always Over
When you’re roommate is in a relationship, it’s like you’re in a relationship, too. Except you only get the shit parts of having a girlfriend. You’re always hanging out with her, she’s eating your food and she’s taking up your spot on the couch, but you don’t get to have sex with her. And somehow, you end up watching Grey’s Anatomy because she wants to because you’re roommate wants to watch it because he wants to keep having sex with her.
2. The Slob
After the slob is done cooking, your kitchen looks like someone raped a barbecue chicken sandwich.   Every time you walk past their bathroom, it smells like a baby shit on top of a copy of the New York times, then died.  Every time you ask them to clean up, they respond with picking up something and moving it somewhere else, then look at you to see what your response will be like they’re playing chess for the first time and want to make sure they moved the knight correctly.  The apartment gets messier and messier, until the only way the apartment could get any dirtier, is if it f*&ked strangers for money.   That’s when you realize you’ve lost the battle, and start laughing when your roommate blows his nose on a pair of basketball shorts he found stuffed inside your silverware drawer.
1.Mr. Anal Retentive
Maybe this person was raised in a strict household. Maybe at some point they were thrown into the back of a garbage truck, and they’ve been freaked out by messiness ever since. Freud would say that at some point in their childhood they had to hold in a huge dump, and that magically turned into obsessive-compulsive disorder. Whatever the reasoning, there are some people who are anal retentive neat-freaks, and this can translate into a roommate nightmare. To compound the issue, most anal-retentive people are passive aggressive, so they won’t express frustration and resentment over having to wash your two dirty dishes in the sink to satisfy their twisted psychological disorder. After about 7 months, though, all of their frustration will build into a repressed volcano of bitter rage, and eventually they will go ballistic over something completely inane, leaving you to calm the situation down by saying something like “Dude. Sorry, I didn’t know we had separate sponges for the dishes and the counter.” Unfortunately, you’ll still have five months left on your one-year lease. Good luck with that.

394 Responses to "The 9 Worst Roommates You Will Ever Have"

  1. Surprise! Surprise! says:

    Sorry your BF fucked your roommate, maybe you should put out more and hold the bitchiness

  2. Anonymous male says:

    To Anonymous female: Hear, hear, sister.

  3. Surprise! Surprise! says:

    Quit snaking my wave bro, I’m in love

  4. Anonymous says:

    You forgot “the crazy bitch” roommate. The one girl that seems cool at first, but after living with her for a while you find out she’s a crazy bitch.

  5. Mandown says:

    LMAO. Dolt. Nice.

  6. Anonymous says:

    you completely forgot Religious guy/girl. Everyone knows that person who is family oriented at 20 and wants 2.5 kids and catholic wedding. It’s creepiness is usually heightened by the fact that the person through years of family fun times and church groups had next to nil for human interaction skills and usually says things that says like it came from Leave it to Beaver. They never swear and don’t hate people. Which as a person who swears as like a sailor, enjoys sex and feels adametly about “it’s none of your buisness what goes in my vagina, or what i take out of my uterus”, liberal, pro-gay rights, fine art student, made me re-think why i was friends let alone roommates with this person. Then again 5 people in an apartment will make you hate everyone. The religious roommate is also known for annoying parents and hideous clothing choices, also known as hand-me-downs.

  7. Anonymouse says:

    Or the roommate who drags home a drug dealer when you just want to have a nice night dropping some shrooms with a few mates, the drug dealer has a bad trip and starts threatening everybody while the roommate pretends to fall asleep…

  8. Claynoid says:

    fuck that. my sister is in university right now and is poor as cockfuck i can totally see her doing that stupid fucking look. always stealing my god fuckin cookies

  9. Anonymous says:

    you must be catholic. those stds you mentioned can be prevented with condoms, you know. its people like you who spread aids in africa. fuckin pope

  10. Anonymous says:

    How ’bout that. Was the person from Janesville Wisconsin and was he occasionally referred to by the epithet ‘Homeless’? If so, then you and I had the same roommate!

    He also stole a few thousand dollars from me. Not very fun.

  11. Tyler says:

    Just have sex with the girlfriend…problem solved

  12. Anonymous says:

    I had one of those. Come to find out he was a crackhead.

  13. Penis says:

    What do you mean he “talks back to me”??

    Isn’t that some shit you say to a little kid?

  14. Anonymous says:

    yeah, its turns out that I am that person, it takes a speacial type of person to put up with your craziness, they usually don’t stay long.

  15. dat dude says:

    it happened to you asshole,cut the shit, thats why u had to move out, and your roomie still crushing that cunt real hard everynight

  16. Pratik says:

    My first roommate…

    Acted all cool with me the first few weeks, then suddenly gave me the cold shoulder. I would try saying hi to her (yes, I was living with a platonic female roommate) and she would just ignore me.

    She was wanting so bad to be some high society rich upper class upper crust lady, but it didn’t help that she was making about $12/hour at some warehouse. I swear she drank more red wine than water and had more “gentleman callers” (her term for fuck buddies) than I could count on both hands.

  17. Anonymous says:

    I personally enjoyed my roomate who had most of these wonderful qualities, but added a little spice of his own. Buying three shit flinging ferrets, constantly taking a crap with no tp (don’t ask how he solved that problem), and deciding that if he never showered and didn’t wash his festering clothes that he cut down on the water bill.
    I used to throw things just to see if he had sense enough to move.

  18. Anonymous female says:

    (Jason Says:
    April 6th, 2009 at 04:20 pm
    It’s funny when the gf starts fucking the dudes roommate. I’ve seen it happen twice now.

    <3 the morals of today’s females) Stupid male she was fucking men so its the morals of todays people. I hate you double standard fux

  19. Anonymouse says:

    How did she know if she was sleeping? Did she install a camera?

  20. dane says:

    how about the closet serial killer…or the part time clown…or the leader of a cult…those would all suck ass alot..ohhh man the great white shark! He’d eat you! LAME!

  21. zephyer19 says:

    Combination of dead beat & slob & desperate cry baby.
    He couldn’t pay the rent, couldn’t flush the toliet, and went on and on about his divorce 15 years before. Would wait in the kitchen most of the night waiting for one of us to come in so he could cry on their shoulder.
    Guess it was better than my friend that had a four pack a day smoker and never took a shower roommate.

  22. Anonymous 3 says:

    Then you develop a drinking problem, and you pay for it by letting homosexuals give you bj/hj….it is a vicious circle of bj’s, drinking, and shame

  23. DianaMoonGlompers says:

    total dolt

  24. Anonymous says:

    Absolutely not

  25. MixMasterFestus says:

    You guys are missing the worst one. Obese Identity Theft roommate.

    My last roomate weighed in at over 400 lbs (I think he got to a point where he just couldn’t weigh himself on a conventional scale anymore), but he had no job and really really nice stuff. He was a mixture of every awful roomate you could have since he lived in the living room for three months straight, arms length from his huge plasma tv, ps3, turn tables, super nice stereo, and comic books. Like I said, he didn’t have a job, but had nicer things than my parents.

    After he moved out, I come to find that he had stolen a family friends identity throughout his entire time in college, and had been living through their checking account. So when you sum up the fact that he was a douche and a theif, as well as calculate in all the troubles of living with a 400 lb man, you end up with probably one of the worst human beings on the planet.

    You should be allowed to file for the death penalty in the same way you file for a restraining order…

  26. Anonymous says:

    I have the opposite of number three. My roommate has a boyfriend who NEVER. FREAKIN. LEAVES. In fact, he’s here right now. And he’ll be here tomorrow morning, afternoon, evening and most likely late into the night. I hate him (everybody, including him and my roommate, knows that). He’s rude to me, talks back to me, and curses. A lot. Worst of all, he cooks all his meals here and doesn’t clean up the messes till hours later (and the food smells bad too). And we have a tiny kitchen, so some days (like tonight) I’m dying of starvation cause he didn’t feel like cleaning up his crap. Oh wait… I hear him in the kitchen now cleaning it up… It’s too late for dinner now. Thank you asshole…

  27. Martin s from canada says:

    I think anonymous is a butt pirate!

  28. O'Doyle says:

    Should I feel bad that I just jerked off to that?

  29. Anonymous says:

    lol. I lived with some roommates with a rule: No live-in girl friends. The rule was that if they came by all the time and slept over all the time, that was fine but they had to live elsewhere so that when shit hit the fan, they would bail and no roommate had to suffer the shit storm. Two roommates broke that rule. I saw 1st hand why it was such a good rule. Nothing like hearing your buddy’s gf having a shrieking argument with her parents at your front door.

    Aside from that black memory, I would like to add “Won’t Take a Message Guy”. Doesn’t apply as much nowadays with cell phones but once upon a time, this kind of roommate sucked.

  30. Mikey says:

    Thats the best picture you could get for “Food Stealer”?

    I so would have went with the Hamburgler

  31. jemis says:

    0. The rich douche bag that has the incessant need to remind you just how rich he is every waking moment.

  32. Anonymous says:

    OMG! I used to work for that woman! Always fun to get back to work after a day off to a thousand angry post-its.

  33. Dom says:

    How do you know she was a she?

  34. Purp McNugget says:


  35. MattBaker1122 says:

    Harold, you totally called it, dude.

  36. Head and Shoulders says:

    yea, those guys (or girls) without shoulders are the worst. i cant stand them.

  37. Reasonable human being says:

    religious girl, that was the most amazing logic and coherence ive ever seen in my life. Your sentences made complete sense and nothing that you said conflicted at all. You are an amazing person and should be put in charge of the UN to solve all the world’s problems. My applause to you.

    (in case you couldnt read my sarcasm, i meant just the opposite of everything i just wrote. cant assume youre intelligent enough to know what sarcasm looks like.)

  38. Anonymous says:

    what about the roomate who calls the cops on you saying you were drinking underage, but really you werent even there, and they searched your apartment anyways!!!

  39. Totally... says:

    3rd harold

  40. religious girl says:

    you’re wrong about almost everything. hand-me-downs are only occasional, and the inheritor chooses what they get. there is no such thing as a .5 child. on average, only 1/1000000 christians want a catholic wedding because of catholics being screwed up morally. leave it to beaver is very, very, very, very lame. i would go as far as saying it is stupid enough to make my pastor vomit out of his nose. there are zero family fun times, because family is not fun. my sister by what music she listens to and stuff she does curses worse than you. the whole point of religion is that people are screwed up and God forgives you for that. lots of people with “religious”-assuming you mean Christian- morals are so liberal it would make you wet your pants. there are “religious people” that march in gay rights parades. the person consistentley bothering you about you had sex last night is probably just jealous that you don’t have a moral obligation to wait and therefore prevent STDS. like hiv. which turns into aids. which i have been told limits your diet a lot, and if you eat wrong once you get close to being terminal, if not so. most christians masturbate in self pity. i don’t. my choice. i don’t like sticking my hand in that area. i see little wrong with doing so. stop generalizing me and STFU.

  41. RoboPanda says:

    You forgot the “does something illegal behind your back and gets the house torn apart by cops” roommate.

    Yeah, that was fun.

  42. Anonymous says:

    The morals of yourself and finding humour in that are also quite outstanding. Feel proud buddy. Real proud.

  43. ring ting says:

    indeed, you must have some authority

  44. ring ting says:

    why would you not shit because you don’t have a door. why not say to whoever else is there, i’m going to be doing some private stuff in the toilet now, don’t come in. Or do you pretend to your roommate that you have no digestive system.

  45. Anonymous says:

    I live with 2 such people, it sucks.

  46. Anonymous says:

    Are you a chick? Because chicks give ‘messages’. If you want to tell a guy something and you’re a guy, man up and just say it.

  47. Jason says:

    It’s funny when the gf starts fucking the dudes roommate. I’ve seen it happen twice now.

    <3 the morals of today’s females

  48. Hot Dip says:

    What about the closet homosexual roomate. The one that says he loves you when he gets too drunk and tries to do things to your penis.

  49. (Anonymous) says:

    So true. this blog made my day. #1-g& #2-f= failure. Ad least I cleaned her apartment and paid rent.

  50. Anonymous 2 says:

    in all fairness, it is difficult to refuse some a bj/hj; in all cases you can just drink the shame away

  51. Joel says:

    The trick is to live with the dirtyiest smelliest most repulsive motherfucker u can, ur girl wont even want to go there.

  52. Anonymous says:

    They also forgot “Passive Aggressive Notes Roomie” which is a cousin to “Anal Retentive Roomie”. I had a room mate once who had entire arguments with me through post it notes and white out boards. I worked nights and she worked days so we never saw each other. She was seriously a neat freak so if I left a cup in the sink I would wake up the next day to a white out message written in blood red ink saying “The kitchen was FILTHY!” or a post it note on the fridge saying “You forgot to put the arm covers back on the couch”

  53. I fucked your dad with my little dick says:

    I could go for eating your asshole right now

  54. O'Doyle says:

    I fucked Mrs Fields too….does that mean God had my sloppy seconds?

  55. Fallen85 says:

    My mom is very cool, it was supposed to be a slumber party where we all drank girly martinis and watched Sex and the City so my mom brought a sh!t load of booze and was mixing yummy things all night. She’s a very chill lady and all of my friends love hanging out with her becuase she gives killer advice but isnt one of those creepy moms who try to be 20 again.

  56. RoboPandas says:

    why did you touch me all those years?

  57. Turban Cowboy says:

    The roommate with the pet that pisses/chews on your stuff.

  58. Harold says:

    You’re wrong, that is exactly the type of mom she is.

  59. Fallen85 says:

    How about the roommate who automatically assumes because you live together that you’re like super tight BFFs okay! And everything you do has to be together and all of your friends are automatically their friends and on Saturday night you say “actually I’m going out with my boyfriend tonight” and they say “SWEET! Where are we going?!” Let’s call them: Clingy Roomie

    …my roommate was a mix between Clingy Roomie, Party Girl, Food Stealer, Roommate whos (Boy)friend is Always Over, Anal Retentive and Irresponsible Pet Owner Roomie.

    Fun times.

  60. Mr. Pointing out The Obvious says:

    Ever heard of a sheet thumbtacked over the door until you could make it to Home Depot or the Door Store or wherever the fuck you buy a door? Or was the bathroom door just a convenient excuse for mooching off of your friend for a week?
    Some say I’m too cynical, but I don’t trust them at all.

  61. Mayor McCheese says:

    I declare Purp today’s lunch!


  62. Jessica says:

    Mmmmmm god fuckin’ cookies….could so go for some of those right now!

  63. Jessica says:


  64. Grampa says:

    I’m the reason why.

  65. Jessica says:

    Lol….what a dirty whore of a roomie….and doesn’t even sound like a nice one at that. aahh well…i guess alcohol can do some fucked up shit to people

  66. Fallen85 says:

    Or how about the roomie who always makes parties awkard.

    During our FIRST party together my roommate got blackout drunk at about 10pm. It was supposed to be an all girls slumber party so she invited two guys that no one knew who immediately made the party awkward and then she invited some chick she met on new years eve.
    Her and the chick then proceded to start making out… with no shirts on… in the middle of the livingroom. Everyone saw WAY too much… including my mom who happened to be at the slumber party because her husband was out of town.

    My roommate, after a bunch of convincing, then moved her and her lady into the bedroom and had loud sex for about 2 hours. After that she came out of the bedroom and picked a fight with some of my friends and ended up punching one of them in the face and breaking his tooth with a glass of rum and coke… she claims she doesnt remember doing any of it.

    My mom hadnt smoked in 10 years until that night. Tramatized for life.

  67. Not Rich says:

    If he’s so rich, why does he need a roommate?

  68. Therrmos says:

    OK those are all bad, but what about the roommate who acts normal one day. Then when you get home the next day All of his shit is gone. You have find out from his girlfriend that the pussy just left.

  69. Anonymous says:

    Not sure if this qualifies as a category or just an individual experience, but I had a girl move in whose bf was an alcoholic and an angry drunk. Wouldn’t have been an issue, if he hadn’t been here 5 nights a week. In one month he wrecked a whole bunch of our stuff, most notably the bathroom door. Three kicks with boots on and we didn’t have a bathroom door for a week, which meant nobody could use the loo or the shower. Fortunately, the crap her bf was pulling got her kicked out by the landlord after that first month (fine, we tattled on her. Wouldn’t you?), but I still had to spend a week living on a friends couch, because his house had a fucking door for the bathroom.

  70. Anonymous says:


    winner winner chicken dinner

  71. Anonymous says:

    I think you might be confused. This list was about BAD roommates.

  72. cupofJoey.com says:

    Lmao. 5th.

  73. cupofJoey.com says:

    and hj/bj’s..

    Damn we took this gay joke too far..

    Please skip it and check out the dad/son joke down there..

  74. cupofJoey.com says:

    “shit flinging ferrets”

    For real?

  75. Mikey says:

    Thats the best picture you could find for “food stealer”?

    I so would have went with the Hamburgler

  76. mothra says:

    “Hey guys, wanna come to a party at my new place? It’s an all girls sleepover party! I invited my Mom so you know it’s going to be super awesome.”

    Why are you allowed to invite your guy friend (the one who got his tooth knocked out) to the “all girls slumber party” but she can’t bring her guy friends? And you didn’t even get naked and make out with a chick afterwards to entertain the guests!

  77. Ookla the Mok says:

    You said it was supposed to be an all girl party that she brought 2 dudes to. Then later you claim she busted yer friend’s tooth. You refer to it as “his tooth”.

    So I have to ask: Is “Mom” a euphemism?

  78. cory says:
    Yes, that’s a good roommate. I had one who would leave notes that said "Stop teabagging me when I’m sleeping!"
  79. king geedorah says:

    what about the sweaty hands rommate. I had to thoroughly wash out everything he touched, also he snoored, smoke constantly, seemed to not have shoulders and to top all of that would listen to music but never actually finish a whole song just get about 30 seconds in then change it, hell.

  80. MK says:

    That was awesome, anonymous!

  81. Anonymous says:

    sis?? is that you??

  82. Anonymous says:

    What about the angry drunk roommate, you know the one who gets wasted then tries to attack you (or a friend because you didn’t say hi to them or because they thought you were plotting about them behind there back?

  83. angryface says:

    you had me at “dolt”

  84. angryface says:

    second harold

  85. GRIMACE says:

    Who the fuck is purp nugget?

    Jesus christ werent you a kid in the 80′s/early 90′s?

  86. Anonymous XXV says:


    My ass just rocketed off my backside.

    So do you just close your eyes? Or do you watch?

  87. GRIMACE says:

    im pretty sure christians dont believe in sarcasm. one of those bible things.

  88. ry-dawg says:

    The food stealer pic was bad
    I nominate the i can haz cheeze burger cat ftw

  89. not about religion-it's about the relationship says:

    as a strong Christian, i personally don’t care what my roommates’ moral views are, nor do i care about their activities, as long as i’m not immediately affected (or awakened by late night escapades) i won’t complain.

  90. Anonymous says:

    wow. maybe you and i had the same roommate! i hated those white boards….

  91. somebody says:

    thats the part were you tell um 2 chill the fuck out and not just stare at um like a tard

  92. Ronald McDonald says:

    Grrrr that Hamburgalur! I’ll get him one day.

  93. Fallen85 says:

    haha sorry missed that part, after she retired to the boudoir to have lots and lots of messy lesbo sex all of her friends left because this was the first time they’d met me, the new roommate, and they felt kinda awkward. All that was left was one of my friends and my mom. Later a couple of my buddies showed up to hear the lesbo sex and they were chilling out drinking and chatting until crazy drunk bi-roomie came out and started yelling “WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU? WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?!” and they were all saying they were my friends and we were all trying to calm her down until she punched my buddy in the face. etc etc.

    She was the best roomie ever.

  94. Anonymous says:

    you brought your mom to the partay?

  95. Anonymous says:

    I see your point, but if you room with the Hamburglar, that’s your own fault.

  96. Essar Allen says:

    This sounds like a story I would love to hear…

  97. Chris says:

    No. That sounds like a party I would want to check out.

  98. Legionaire says:

    To add to that, the roommate who decides that he needs to date another roommate. THAT causes shit-storms, especially when she dumps his ass for another guy he can’t stand. Between the flurry of cattiness and depression, everyone else gets caught up in, “Well who’s side are you on, theirs or mine?!”

  99. Anonymous says:

    yeah if you had a camera you could have gotten your revenge and make us all happy.

  100. Tomikaze says:

    He means phone messages, you dolt.

  101. Anonymous says:

    How about “Guy who’s girlfriend is always over” only that girlfriend is extremely loud (even if you are in your room with the door closed you can hear her laughing or crying at all times), obnoxious, asks you for any left over vicodin from when you had surgery because she has period-cramps, and every little thing is a huge drama that involves lots of loud crying or yelling. Possibly bipolar but not on meds. Also your roommate is in love with her, so he resents you when you eventually can’t take it anymore and you break down and have a long conversation explaining why you can’t stand his girlfriend and if he could not have her over so often, and despite it all you somehow still feel horrible for doing it because for some reason he likes her so much.

  102. RoboPanda says:


  103. inNE says:

    Unless he left with you hanging with bills, and some of your shit, perhaps it’s best he simply took off.

  104. Anonymous says:

    that is just stupid

  105. dane says:

    god fucking cookies…those sound intense as fuck…I bet they are Mrs Fields…yep…Mrs fields fucks god.

  106. Anonymous says:

    I know, I heard him too. You guys were in the very next trailer.

  107. Anonymous says:

    I’m “the girlfriend that’s always over”. That said, my boyfriend’s last roommate was a combination of the gamer, the slob, and one you forgot, the chronic masturbator. The dorm was tiny so when he’d lay in bed and beat off, anyone in the room was only a few feet away…

  108. BeenThereDoneThat says:

    What about the “I’m your roommate so therefore I must be the center of your life” roommate? Yeah, only had 1 roommates so far, lived with her for about 2 years. If I went out with my friends and didn’t invite her she’d get mad, if she invited me to go somewhere with her and I didn’t want to go, she got mad. It was like we were some fucked up married couple.

    Her: What are we doing tonight?

    Me: I don’t know. Maybe we’ll stay in.

    Her: I don’t want to stay in. We never do anything.

    Me: Well you don’t like to go where I like to go

    Her: The people you hang out with are weird

    Me: So go hang out with someone else

    Her: I don’t know anyone else

    She would even yell at me for coming home late, using “her fork”, or wanting to turn the TV off because she decides to leave it on while reading a book. Thank god she moved out.

  109. Anonymous says:

    What about the roomies who don’t do shit when you’re in trouble?
    I had a boyfriend who was a bit unstable and would lock me in rooms and destroy my shit…. I’d be yelling for somebody to open the door and the roomies would ignore the calls, or just watch as $1000 worth of items gets destroyed… Then when shit calms down they act like nothing happened and expect you to drive them around and let them eat your food…

    Or the room mates who hide all their food in their room then proceed to eat all yours.

  110. The Porn Addict says:

    Yeah? What’s the fucking problem chief?

  111. Anonymous says:

    thats nice. im straight.

  112. Anonymous says:

    are you gay and 7 years old?

  113. Anonymous says:

    i agree with kyle. whoever posted this shit has no sense of irony.

  114. Anonymous says:

    you all suck ass.

  115. Anonymous says:

    I had a roommate who thought she was my mommy, she’d always be asking me if I was going out that night and how late I’d be out and the next morning she’d ask how late I was out the night before. She also tried to tell me I couldn’t have friends over because she didn’t like them. She was a slob and she turned my living room into a zoo, kept bringing home ferrets and guinea pigs and never cleaned up after them so the entire apartment smelled like a zoo. I could go on forever about how much it sucked…I ended the lease after three months and it was a year lease.

  116. Anonymous says:

    Had a housemate once who used to pick up bums off the street and bring them home for sex. Creepiest…guy…ever. We’de be sitting around wathing TV and he’d skulk through the living room with some poor grungy dude. Half an hour later they’d leave, then an hour later he’d come back with another one. eeeuuuuugggghhhhh…..

  117. Kyle W says:

    Ok I just came up with a new one for you.. “The self proclaimed victim” – The bitch who drags all of her problems and baggage into your life and expects you to help her out. This person will bring home psyco boyfriends and continually put your health and well-being in jeoporady. Then they will complain about how you didn’t solve the problems that they brought upon themselves.

  118. Anthony Ceaser says:

    I never had a roommate. I live in a mansion. All of you guys should have investment bankers for fathers, scum bags.

  119. Anonymous says:

    What about the public shitter, who refuses to close the door to do their business. Or the nudist, which is self explanatory.

  120. Anonymous says:

    What about the room mate who spills shit on the furniture and lets it dry?
    Seriously. Like, brand new carpeting had gotten put in, and about 4 months into it, it was absolutely covered in beer, soda, remains of vomit and cigs, piss that had been in a cup that got knocked over..
    Ugh, I didn’t live with this chick, but my best friend did and I was over there all the time.

  121. Anonymous says:

    now thats just plain nasty

  122. jOHNNY says:

    How about the “I love heroin” roomate?? Sorta like the Deadbeat, Party Guy, Couch potato, Borrower, and Slob all rolled into one. Had one of these once…NOT FUN!!

  123. Anonymous says:

    Kyle, you are just bored or something! You are commenting about everyone. You are proobably every one of these wrapped up into one lousy roommate. Heres a new one “the Kyle”! now piss off

  124. Anonymous says:

    surprise bitch, james earl jones

  125. Anonymous says:

    Hayden Christensen?

  126. elwoodinontario says:

    I think the anal-retentive roommate is a sympyom of having to live with any of the others.

  127. Hot Dip says:

    Don’t forget roommates that rip ass and stink up the whole house. Oh, wait thats me.

  128. roney81 says:


  129. Dirk Digler says:

    You guys forgot another bad roommate… The never refilling the empty roll of toilet paper roommate

  130. Anonymous says:

    lived with all of these at the same time. got a place of my own, never been happier the end

  131. Anonymous says:

    OK, I’m a dude that lived with 2 chicks. Sounds great, like three’s company, right? WRONG! One girl was the “crunchy granola, hippy, vegan” type who would “borrow” my weed. The other was a straight up crack head which the hippy recruted as a roomate. At least the hippy paid the rent. Crack heads never have money, so it became my job to get rid of her.
    And last but certainly not least, how much fucking toilet paper do you bitches really need to use!!! One roll lasts me over a month. I bought an 18 pack and 2 weeks later it was “my turn” to buy toilet paper again!

  132. Anthony Ceaser says:

    Im gay.

  133. Anonymous says:

    What about the roommate that leaves on the last day of the month with no notice, so you get stuck with the whole rent. I hate those kinds of bastards.

  134. Anonymous says:

    Wanna play grabass?

  135. Anonymous says:

    I am your father.

  136. Wundt says:

    I could add about 5 more to this list

    - The Blamer – They are the slob, borrower, etc, but constantly acuse you of being the slob, borrower, etc. One such roommate was always on my case about the dishes, when he was by far the worse offender.

    - The Arrogant A-hole – This guy always feels he is better than you, no matter what. He is always competing with you to prove just how much better he is, “my cooking is better”, “my car is nicer”, “my classes are harder”, etc. One such roommate didn’t ‘respect’ me until I a better looking girlfriend.

    - The Porn Addict – You know who you are.

    And so on…

  137. Anonymous says:

    One of my best friends (female) lives with a lifelong homosexual male friend. Us girls like to get together and do crafts and sometimes have a drink or 2. Unless there is a guy there he is a total a-hole. He will do anything to annoy us. He will make us turn the music down at 7pm because he is depressed and wants to go to bed. I always act nice to him but he still acts like an ass. We even ask him to join us in our festivities but he always refuses and wants to come in and use my laptop to play WOW. what an effing tard. So Gay Boy Drama Queens suck as roomates to the fullest extent.
    I can’t stand people who think negative all of the time. Arrrrgh!!!

  138. Sandy says:

    I has a roommate in a share house who was lucky enough to be the holder of the lease. He thought this meant that he didn’t have to pay any rent or bills…

    He also ate all our food, claimed we were late paying rent when it had already been paid, alcoholic, and smack user, always wanted to be around when we were having friends over despite the fact we all obviously thought he was a tool. If THAT wasn’t great enough we had some dectectives show up on the front door asking a lot of questions about him. It was then we discovered he was being investigated for a rape/murder and was refusing to give DNA to clear his name…

    Yeah, we moved out.

  139. Dirk Digler says:

    do you have their number by any chance?

  140. Anonymous says:

    hahaa i love you, welcome to my life

  141. Anonymous2 says:

    Can we put this in the category of the “Did I have sex last night? roommate?”

    I had friends who suffered this one. She would wake up and ask if it sounded like she had sex the night before because she couldn’t remember being as drunk as she was. Then later strange guys would bring back her purse, keys, or something else she had left somewhere.

  142. Anonymous2 says:

    Umm, question. Why was the piss in a cup?

  143. Anonymous2 says:

    I was the friend of a girl who’s roommate had the possessive girl-crush. It’s horrible when you are the friend they think they should be and they start to send you hate mail for it.

  144. pynkie says:

    I haven’t had the best luck with roommates. One would get pissed if she had to load the dishwasher but didn’t seem to mind that I was the only one who cleaned the damn toilets. One always seemed to come home when I was making dinner and conveniently have all of my leftovers. My current roommate claims that her morbidly obese cat has to be on prozac because of my dog. If my dog did chase the cat (not that she cares about the cat at all) it would do cat Albert a world of good. Not to mention she leaves the cat here almost every weekend when she goes out of town.

    However, I did have one awesome roommate who I miss dearly. So, not all roommates suck ass.

  145. BSD says:

    That still doesn’t prove anything. You must be one of those ultra-conservative christians…
    And also, to the guy below, it doesn’t say anywhere in the post if the person is a dude or not moron.

  146. Anonymous says:

    man what the F

  147. Anonymous says:

    How about a little game called hide the drum stick?
    …And I am talking about a turkey leg..

  148. Kyle W says:

    you would try to justify your condition…you anal retintive freak

  149. Anonymous says:

    So you drag your violent boyfriend to the shared flat and want the roommates to step between him and your stuff when he starts kicking off?

  150. Smackdaddiest1 says:

    There’s your problem though…..you were roommates with a chick you weren’t banging!

  151. Anonymous says:

    dont be so vulgar !

    of course I’m not a Christian !!!

  152. mothra says:

    pretty sure he was kidding, calm down hoss.

  153. Derek says:

    Grimmy, Dude, that slag’s not my girlfriend any more since she tested posiive for HIV.

  154. Anonymous says:

    Oh it NEVER FAILS…There always has to one in the crowd! Without “DADDY” you probably coundn’t make it a week on your own, you arrogant ASSHOLE!

  155. Pierre says:

    in my college dorm, there were two girl roomies who were SO.FUCKING.SLOBBY. I went into their room ONCE and it reeked of garbage. warm, putrid, garbage. The floor was literary covered in 2.5 foot of trash. McDonalds wrappers, empty yogurt containers, milk cartons, used plastic forks/spoons, tampons, Fucking everything you’d find in a trash. It was obscene!

  156. BSD says:

    My girlfriend had a roomate with an “unstable” boyfriend, if by “unstable” you mean “abusive, lying, piece of shit who should be castrated and fed to wild dogs”. At first my girlfriend tried to help her, and she dumped the asshole (after he hit her and broke her cellphone), but she took him back.

    This happened a few times, and he even threatened my girlfriend once. So I told her roomate he couldn’t come to her place anymore. She dumped him and said he wouldn’t come back. Of course that lasted about two weeks, so then I told her boyfriend to stay the fuck away. This just meant that he’d come over when I wasn’t there (I lived about 40 minutes away from my g/f’s). Finally my girlfriend just forced the other girl to move out.

    It’s not my girlfriend’s responsibility to deal with a girl who’s so stupid that she keeps taking this guy back (Although the guy has to take responsibility for his own actions). I mean, I hope she’s okay, but my number one concern was keeping my girlfriend safe (my number two concern was not going to jail, and I know this asshole would’ve called the cops if I hit him), so I’m glad the girl is gone and out of both of our lives. It’s roomates like her that are the worst, not the ones who don’t want to get hurt but abusive, small-dicked, wastes of sperm.

  157. roney81 says:

    i got sloppy seconds

  158. Jason says:

    I had: “Conservative Republican Guy Who Finds Out You Were In a Three-Way With His Girlfriend Right Before They Started Going Out”

    It went from pleasant normal roommate land to completely awkward bitter bizarre remainder of the year, with him barely speaking to me and sort of hiding in his room and adjusting his schedule to avoid me at all costs.

  159. Anonymous says:

    it says that he’s a guy and the conversation is between him “me” and a girl “her”

    fucking retard

  160. Lisa Parker says:

    18 for 2 weeks sounds about right. Sorry but us girls actually use it, that’s why we don’t have skid marks on our undies.

  161. Anonymous says:

    Why the fuck should your roommates risk their safety just because you have shitty taste in men and are clearly so desperate you’ll date a psycho?
    I’m with Kyle. Let’s add ‘Drama Queen with a victim complex’ to the list of shitty room-mates.

  162. todders says:

    may I present to you the ultimate roommate delimma: Who ate all the fucking hot pockets? This is a real roommate in crisis:


  163. GRIMACE says:

    the 2nd one is called the “one-upper” because they always one-up you. had one of those as a roomate
    “oh your drinking beer? pfsh, i drink only hard alcohol.”
    “oh that your computer? hah”

    Derek if you read this, i did fuck your girlfriend. guess what you cant one up me on?

  164. Anonymous says:

    women read and comment on this site too. You may have just said that to a girl.

  165. Anonymous says:

    aww your just jelous! cause you obviously dont have a life ether stupid dick head

  166. Anonymous says:

    “It was like we were some fucked up married couple.”

    Wham, bam, thankee ma’am

  167. Anonymous says:

    HAHA me too!

  168. Anonymous says:

    The Naked Room mate.

    We all know someone who has one.

  169. Anonymous says:

    Me three!

  170. yeah says:

    all the better

  171. Anonymous says:

    hahaaa… that sounds like ME !

    Were not really creepy, we just resent having to share our lives with the same people we have to share our home with.

  172. Anonymous says:

    Come now, we all know you don’t know who your father is.

  173. no one important says:

    Like when they kick down your door because “someone’s in the appartment” no no they are so bugged out that the guy that “walked past” them in the mirror in in the house.

  174. ricky says:

    I think chicks know of secret uses for toilet paper that men have yet to uncover. Dateline, or 20/20, needs to do a story on this all to common occurence. i’m convinced that there is some use for toilet paper we are missing.

  175. Anonymous says:

    What about the roommate who always stays in his room, creeps around corners and hates it when anybody he doesnt know is at the house?

  176. Anonymous says:

    i’m an ultra conservative christian, and i don’t think this was written by a guy. I have said this kind of stuff b4, and i am a “chick”. the person below you might have been a girl too. ever think about that?

  177. Dom says:

    I’m totally raping a barbecue chicken sandwich for lunch!

  178. Anonymous says:

    your right roney…

    Unless you are the person who only comes home for a few hours a week, you really have to go hard and get out on your own. Don’t rely on lucking out by finding the “ideal” room mate. They are as rare as rocking horse shit it seems.

    Sorry students… this means your more or less fucked (at least until you graduate and are earning a decent wage).

  179. Anonymous says:

    I got the one who does nothing but sit on his ass playing halo 3 and yells at 12 year olds. He claims “Major League Gaming” is a sport and he “follows” it every day.

  180. Anonymous says:

    sounds like me too….

  181. Anonymoosex says:

    It’s why I got a studio apartment. Problem solved. You can be your own worst roommate and no one gives a shit.

  182. Anonymous says:

    What about the best roomate “the ghost”. One of my housemates in college I saw him the first week I was there then never again. Nevertheless the first of every month his share of rent and expenses was pinned to the bulletin board in the kitchen.

  183. Brad2325 says:

    What is it about girls that they can’t co-exist for longer than half an hour without wanting to kill one another? They’re like cats. Judgmental, passive aggressive, overreacting to every little imagined slight. I have yet to meet a woman who hasn’t told me “I get along with guys so much better”. I’m honestly asking what the deal is with the female gender. Anybody know?

  184. Anonymous says:

    How about “married guy who neglects his wife and abuses his two baby daughters”. Straightforward, sure, but that’s how I learned never to rent a room in a house that’s located in front of a trailer park. You wouldn’t think one would need to learn this lesson by experience, but some of us are thicker skulled than the rest.

  185. Anonymous says:


  186. Anonymous says:

    could be a combo of 2 4 and 9. …

  187. Casey says:

    I live with Mr. 9,8,6,5,4,3, and 2. They are all the same person. 4 more weeks…

  188. erica says:

    my roommate last year was the naked roommate and she would always walk around without a top and sometimes without panties. i do some modeling and she wanted to get into it so she would try and impress me by walking around naked and stuff. the worst was when she had her one nighters and her guys would walk around with their dicks out and they would try and hit on me too!! OMG that was the worst seeing a guys crusty dick from last night trying to hit on me!! ugh i think i just threw up in my mouth!!

    but she would do everything to look like me and act like me because she dyied her hair blond and got a ton of push up’s to get her tits to look like mine. so after i got my internet series gig i told her that her moquitoe bites werent gonna get her anywhere and left for good. hopefully this gig can help me pay for rent cuz i kind of needed her for monetary reasons


  189. rgar says:

    You are the perfect roommate.

  190. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know, I’ve had other female roommates for years and there was only one I had an issue with, and it was because she made racist jokes and comments to guests. It depends on the girls I think, like everything else, the personalities have to match. I happen to be a little laid back.

  191. Anonymous says:

    Omg WHat about the “Leaves Pubic Hair on the soap and other places in the bathroom” or instead of throwing their food away when they’re done with it they leave half a plate of shit on the counter like someone’s magically supposed to clean it all off for the douchebags.

  192. VirgoKid78 says:

    Sounds like you need to get a backbone! I may fall into the number 1 category but I prefer to think of it as moderating proper behavior ;) If your roommates are really as awful as you say then you need to put your foot down either get them to shape up or ship out!

    For the one who said simple guidelines will solve anything… not possible. Setting guidelines and getting sloppy people to follow them are two different things. By your philosophy, the fact that we have laws should mean there is never any crime.

  193. Anonymous says:

    Well, my roommate falls into about 7 of these categories…worst roommate in the history of roommates

  194. Anonymous says:

    i was the “couch potato” but i had a job, and payed 1/3 rent with 5 people in the apartment. it was MY fuckin couch, and they bitched about it a lot. funny part is, i sacrificed the second bedroom to the main complainers, because they were dating, and i felt like being nice and giving them privacy. then you had to deal with the older guy, who felt like he was responsible for you, and got mad if you slept in a little too late. ooooooo i slept in till 3 in the afternoon! fuck you, guy. they would have unplanned parties ALL the fuckin time, and the one time i have one, i have to do the dishes for a week, because they didnt appreciate “all the people”. wtf? free booze for you, bachelor party for my older brother. unappreciative bastards. i bought food for the first 3 months, and no one else bought food. so they would eat all the food and wonder why i got mad when a months worth would disappear in a week. i would only live with ONE of them ever again, but he has a really hard time holding a job. one of the most badass people i ever met, though.

  195. Anonymous says:

    I live with 2 other girls, I’m not a slob, I clean up after myself and do my share of the housework. But my housemates often suddenly decide that they are going to clean half the house and then get angry that I haven’t done any cleaning that day and bitch about it. Well sorry, but I was at work and haven’t had a day off in 2 weeks, while you’ve been sitting on your ass doing nothing for the past 2 weeks!

  196. todders says:

    still taking the worst roommate cake:


  197. SexyCaliGuy says:

    You know what’s funny? Every single one of us is or has been at least a little bit of at least one of these in our lifetime. I know some of my past roommates would call me anal-retentive, and I probably am a little bit – I just don’t like old food on the countertops or pubic hair on top of the toilet tank. Call me crazy. Anyway, I think most roommates fall into one or more of these categories, just not anywhere near as extreme as what’s described here. Although my current roomie is getting dangerously close to being a full-time #3 – his annoying goofy-ass girlfriend lives an hour away, so when she comes over she’s here for two or three days straight. Which might be fine if they ever left the house to do anything, but they never go anywhere – they just watch TV, sing karaoke (yes, it’s true – I wish I were making that up, but I’m not), eat, occupy the bathroom for long stretches and destroy the entire fucking kitchen every time they make a bowl of Top Ramen. But at least they’re quiet when they screw and I don’t have to hear them. I guess there’s that.

  198. Casey says:

    Tits help when the girl lacks a pretty face and a decent personality. ;P

  199. Fed up!! says:

    HA! Obviously you have never had roommates like mine!! messy, stinky, no sense of personal hygiene, let alone how much garbage they sit in 24-7 in the living room. Lets not even mention there room, and the smells coming from the room, as well as the living room. There cat is nasty and mean. They are passive aggressive, play video games all day, and ALL night! When they feel like throwing gamer parties, they don’t tell me anyone is coming over.

    They are a married couple. The wife spent over one year unemployed, and played video games instead of looking for work, or even leaving the house. She coughs like she is hacking up a lung and there is not enough insulation on my walls to shield these annoying sounds.

    If I do not take out the garbage, it will just pile up for months, and they will deny that it smells, or that it’s even a mess. They leave the screen door open so there precious little monster (evil cat), can go in and out when it pleases. However, I am apparently the only one who sees all the flies and other bugs coming in as a result.

    I have tried to make rules just so we can live in peace and harmony…but no, apparently asking for garbage to be picked up is to much to ask.

    Until you have had roommates like this, you cannot say that just setting a few guidelines will fix anything ;)

    oh, and they reward there cat (in front of me) for beating up my cat! gotta love it!

    oh, and some people did not believe me, so I had to make a video. So I KNOW I am not crazy, just being taken advantage of!

  200. LearnSpanishPro.com says:

    Good roomates are hard to find…thats for sure!
    Check out this great site. Learn spanish Free.

  201. Anonymous says:

    my old roommate had a bucket he liked to call the “dish bucket” where he let his dishes soak for days at a time. one time he decided to go on a week long road trip. after he promised me he would clean his shit up before he left, he left his dish bucket anyways. i put it in his room for the week he was gone and his room became mice infested.

  202. Anonymous says:

    I guess you re the shitty roommate! lol

  203. Drew Austin says:

    This is a great article, but your missing one important roommate. The Campus Socialite. That’s the college roommate that’s always in the know, step above the rest, gets above average grades, goes to the gym, and has an entreprenurial spirit. Find out more about The Campus Socialite at http://www.TheCampusSocialite.com

  204. kelly says:

    OMG my roommate is one of the worst i’ve ever had!! she’s a absolute party animal always bringing people over drunk, she never cleans, and she always steals my food. if i didnt do any modeling on the side i would be dead broke and homeless. gah i need a new roommate and if you guys can help by looking at my show so i can get more ad money i would appreciate that!


  205. Experienced Roomie says:

    During my single days, I’ve lived with males as well as females in roommate situations.

    While living with other males, I’ve observed that the cleanliness of the house would depend entirely on whether myself or my roommates had a GF at the time. In this case, those with a GF would likely become the anal-retentive(s) about keeping the place clean. If none of us had GFs at the time, the place would rapidly decend into the depths of disgusting.

    While living with females, I’ve observed that my roommates (Three’s Company Style), would be very helpful in keeping the common areas clean, but their rooms would be nasty as hell. So, with this said, as long as they kept their bathrooms/bedrooms closed from the rest of the house, they were tolerable.

    I’ll say this much though: When my roommates had a fallout with their current BFs, the ladies focused on their personal living spaces, so about every couple of months, spring cleaning would roll around for one or both of my roommates. One thing remained constant, though. The ladies’ bathrooms were perpetually hellish.

    Most recently, I roomed with a good friend of mine (male) and another roommate which was female. We all got along quite well, the bills were split equally and paid on time, but my roommates were perpetual slobs. Being the token anal-retentive, I found myself cleaning house often (mostly the kitchen only, since that was the only common area I used).

    I’ve since moved out, have my own place now, and am much happier, not having to deal with other peoples’ shit. If my place is a mess, it’s my OWN damn fault. I have nicer things these days, and place a higher value on *keeping* my things nice, so I’m happier.

    Everyone has their own comfort zone, but the trick isn’t male or female, when it comes to choosing a roommate. Everyone has their own quirks. The thing you need to figure out is how will you HANDLE your roommate’s quirks?

    Lastly: Get EVERYTHING in writing. Roomie breaks a household covenant, give them the boot.

  206. mothra says:

    he didn’t say that simply setting the guidelines would solve everything. actually following them is what matters. same with the law, the hard part is getting everyone to obey the laws, it only takes that one roommate who doesn’t listen to make it a miserable time for everyone involved.

  207. Anonymous says:

    Heres one that tops the list. Background, Italian with gangster roots. House potato. Sells drugs out of your dads house which we were renting to pay for his nacho supreme delivery habit. Alcoholic. Occasionally has gangster related meetings at the house. Slob. Brings former drug addicts in for storytime and entertainment. Lie-o-phile, deny-o-phile, steals 20 pairs of your work socks to jack-off into, and says “don’t go into my closet” after he moves out. Well I had to because of the smell that was consuming the whole house. “Hey these are my socks!” Well I took 20 pairs of his socks as payment, after I washed them six times.
    Oh yea, hid drugs in my car when we were going out to our favorite restaraunt. I get pulled over for not signaling long enough, and play it cool because i didn’t know the drugs were there. The cops identify my friend and minutes later another four police arrive. The head policeman asks “do you have any piles of cash in your car?” They found the drugs. Long story short, have a good lawyer on speed dial, which my friend did, and bada-boom bada-bing we were let off with a traffic violation.
    After a drinking binge over the holidays I had to let him go. He wasn’t taking care of himself. Who is this guy? My best freaking friend.

  208. Anonymous says:

    What about the roomate who lights his farts on fire? That guy was pretty surprising.

  209. CB says:

    I am an extreme case of number 1 and my last roommate was a 2. To make a long story short, I was ready to dig a 6*3*6 ft. hole in the backyard. lol

  210. Anonymous says:

    bah ha ha!

  211. hey says:

    you’re lucky you have tits, because you look like a man.

    I’m saying you’re a man-faced titty rack.

  212. willybabes says:

    every single person falls into one of those categories or a mixture of x amount of them. anal retentive is by far the worst in my mind. fuck its like walking on egg shells with those kind of people.

  213. WestCoastWoman says:

    I did the roommate thing for 15 years in many different places with all of the types listed above and then some. However, most of it was not an issue ever. In my 15 years of roommate experience there were always some unspoken rules and expectations that make roommate life bearable. Here they are: all bathrooming supplies that you wish to keep to yourself you keep in your room! Your personal food was always in a designated cupboard plus your own basket/box for fridge food. Label other foods that don’t fit in your designated spaces so others know it is not for sharing. Unlabeled and out of place is a free for all! There would often be a shared cupboard where people put things like tea, coffee etc that is for sharing especially with household guests. Always wash your own messes right away. TV was never an issue in my experiences as most places I lived never bothered getting cable and not being much of TV person I didn’t care. I suppose the couch potato was never much of a problem as all my roomies were pretty active outdoorsy types. The most unlikely types of people can manage living in the same space following these simple rules.

    Thanks for this list it was fun to read and reminisce.

  214. Brad2325 says:

    Fuck yea I hear you, this is what my current roommate manages to pull off every single god damn time he takes a shower. Pubes all over the top of the toilet tank; I’d be surprised if he has any hair left on his nuts at all. I just started wiping it into the garbage can with his towel so I don’t have to stare at it every time I take a leak. But the best story I ever heard was from a group of guys who had one roommate who wouldn’t flush the toilet – as the story goes, after several attempts to solve this problem with talk, all three of the other roomies hatched a plan and carried it out one day when Mister Doesn’t Flush wasn’t home. He told me they got a bucket, took turns taking a shit in it, and then put it in the middle of his room with all the windows and door closed. Disgusting as fuck, but genius if you ask me.

  215. SoJerZ says:

    lol, look at my car

  216. Anonymous says:

    I’ve been #1 (the Anal Retentive one) – I used to clean our kitchen floor with a toothbrush! I didn’t make my roommates do anything though at least…but I was crazy I admit. A half-full glass of juice on the counter would make me freak.
    Justice was served when I had a roommate who after seeming normal for several months, went off his rocker and refused to throw out his pet iguana’s rotting eggs…(they were in the iguana’s cage). They really began to smell, it was disgusting.
    Everytime I brought it up, he’s get this weird glazed look in his eyes and say, “We must keep the eggs”…eventually I got his girlfriend to intercede and throw the $#@% things out!

  217. luci says:

    I find that as a girl, living with other girls is the worst possible situation EVER. The majority of girls tend to be anal retentive types but then we have to deal with such sterling examples of mental health like The Drama Queen, The Cat Lover (*everything* has a kitten pasted on it), The Health Nut/Fitness Junkie, The Crying Girl & The Dater Of Douchebags (who always, always turns into The Crying Girl). They all bitch about you behind your back. Plus they’ll all steal your shoes/clothes/makeup/boyfriend if they get the chance.

    Most dudes are more well adjusted than we girls give them credit for. Sure they tend to be a little slobbish but you’d be surprised how many of them start to pick up their shit when a girl moves in. Right now I live with 2 guys – I cook dinner for everyone once a week & then they do boy things around the house (fix broken things/lift heavy stuff/look at my car/move furniture) so it works out to be a pretty good deal for us all. Plus I’m a bit of a gamer so I always have someone to play with

  218. DDQ says:

    Don’t forget the Norman Fucking Bates/single White female roomate who develops an unhealthy obsession with you and stares at you out the bathroom window as you drive away to go to work in the morning because you skillfully waited in your room until they went to take a shower then ran out as fast as you could to avoid them. And who cracks open your door at 2 in the afternoon while your hanging out in your underwear with your girlfriend with two wine glasses in his hand asking if you’d like something to drink. Or whose door is closed when you get up and go to the bathroom but is open when you come out and they’re sitting on the edge of the bed trying to look casual. Or who makes you start worrying they’ll stab you in a jealous rage one random night…good times…

  219. Anonymous says:

    Lucky me…my guy roommate is none of these types. Great guy…quiet, always pays rent, doesn’t get pissy when I skip the dishes until morning, let me put pin-up girls in the bathroom….

    Guess I have it pretty good!

  220. Dspayre says:

    had a house mate grossed out by hair in bathroom sink, shower etc. Dry retched when he found his G’frinds head hair on toothbrush!!! But he hell did love to eat pussy?? WTF

  221. Captain Kumquat says:


  222. Anonymous says:

    The Air Traffic Controller: Phone talks,and narrates a loud text messages, e-mails etc. nearly non-stop. Takes breaks to tell you his and his friend’s, and the friend’s friends every move and recent development. Has regular “in-flight emergencies,” again narrarated, that involve the reason why he has to use the shower, car, your money, etc. right now. And of course unasked for guidance, directions, and orders on what you need to do and when. Of course after all that stressful activity, do not dare disturb him when HE finally sleeps.

  223. Legionaire says:

    I had two roommates who were The Slob. They would rape our kitchen, then leave their dishes around until they started molding. If we asked them to do anything, they would respond with, “Well /I/ took out the garbage last time!”

  224. Anonymous says:

    Did you get checked for STDs afterwarts?

  225. ribbed says:

    I wish I was as lucky and got to fuck my roommates girlfriend for all the shit I end up buying for them and watching with her. kudos to you. but what’s worse then the slob and couch potato and deadbeat-pot-smoker-with-no-job all combined into one is when you ask this guy to pick up his shit he gets defensive and tries to backfire it on you for one bowl you left around his pile of shit and couldn’t clean because of an overflowing dishwasher and sink he created from making hash brownies and smells up your house because all he did all day was make weed butter in your crockpot and left the mess to fuck his girlfriend at her house for the next 3 days.

  226. MK says:

    I spit when I read that, too. Afterwarts. Now, that’s the perfect name for STD’s and a night of bad decisions. hahahaha

  227. Anonymous says:

    Let’s see….I think one of my old roommates was a combination of The Slob, The Guy Who’s Girlfriend is Always Over, The Couch Potato, The Gamer & The Deadbeat. And me being Mr Anal Retentive didn’t mix well. But he always had pot & I f*cked his girlfriend when he was out of town so I guess it worked out in the end.

  228. STD says:

    haha afterwarts?

  229. monster says:

    once had a roomie… who constantly had his “lived one block away” folkie girlfriend over every day, every night… I gave my friends rock band permission to turn the dining room into a rehearsal studio every night for a month.. big ol Marshall Amps,1 bass,3 guitars and a full set of drums.. whoo hoo and it was SO LOUD..that got her ass out of there

  230. Keiohdssmm says:

    My roommate:
    eats my food
    doesn’t flush the toilet (it’s always poop)
    leaves every electrical device running, even when he leaves
    doesn’t pay his share of the rent
    leaves moldy food in the kitchen, living room, and bathroom
    doesn’t clean up but asks me to
    is a compulsive hoarder
    never leaves the couch
    uses drugs and stores them in common areas
    brings strange women home and they are ALWAYS screamers
    walks around naked (he’s 450lbs!)
    doesn’t do laundry and only has 4 outfits
    always smells horrible
    leaves pee all around the toilet
    there is always “residue” on the seat after he craps
    his cat only uses my cat’s litter box, which he won’t clean
    his cat eats my cat’s food (and mine)
    he won’t buy toilet paper even though it’s his turn
    i can’t use the sinks because his dishes occupy them
    used condoms are never thrown away
    won’t take garbage out. ever.
    keeps me up on exam nights
    borrows and loses my things, without asking
    doesn’t lock the doors (bad in my neighborhood)
    doesn’t charge the phone, so no one can call
    his can throws up and he won’t clean it
    doesn’t leave hot water for anyone else
    doesn’t know how to control the volume of his voice
    comes home between the hours of 4am and 7am
    leaves his underwear EVERYWHERE
    can’t find his socks…so he stopped wearing them
    our house it littered with his garbage, but if i leave one thing out, he’ll throw it in my room
    leaves items needing refrigeration out
    the list doesn’t end…………

  231. (Anonymous) says:

    Freud is so true i fucking love this. The only thing worse is making a combo of # 1 & 2.

  232. D says:

    This was HILARIOUS and so true. A friend of mine was staying with me for 2 years for college and drove me crazy about 90% of the time! He fell under The Deadbeat, Couch Potato, and The Slob. On a side note…I consider myself “A Gamer” but nothing like the describtion in the article, lol.

  233. ihatemyroommate says:

    i fcuking hate my roommate. i cant wait to leave you. ugh 6 more months. that bitch rule like she own this room. she blast her annoying music so i cant listen to anything. she spray sucha too sweet deodorant. i hate her okay i hate herrrrr

  234. Anonymously says:

    How about stoner roommate that got you shot at, that earlier in the year you threw through the wall but w/ the year long lease couldn’t leave

  235. G.J. says:

    I have the Roommate who doesn’t spend a dime on rent and acts like he’s tight on money when it’s up because he’s the only name on the lease and thinks none of the other five people living there know. sucks when you have nowhere to go for 8 months and live with this dude, i want to bust his face every time i see him.

  236. *insert witty name* says:

    You think thats bad?!?
    My bastard roomate was planning a terrorist attack without my knowledge, and was using my bathroom as a place to store his freshly-mixed semtex!
    Being dragged out of bed at 3am, being arrested for being an accomplice to a known criminal AND being incarcerated for 5 years isn’t fun, and my roomate still hasnt shown up since his execution to split the rent with me!
    What a fucking douche!

  237. arizona says:

    im so fucking sick of my roomates. they sit out here and smoke weed EVERY DAY ALL DAY. its all they do, that, and xbox. i am a full time college student and every night i cant sleep because all i can here is there fucking call of duty blasting in the living room. i cant bring anyone back over because they sell weed so they flip shit if i bring anyone over without calling them so they can stash their shit. im not the one taking that risk grow the fuck up. i cant bring dates back because i dont smoke and 99% of my girls dont smoke, so what do you do when you walk into a place and ur eyes start to burn from the reefer in the air? run to the bedroom i promise! no. im fucking sick of it. im researching ways to turn the internet off at night since i have master control (my router :) ). also if he gives me shit about leaving something in the main room one more time, im taking the tv (since i bought it and they never paid me) and im going to stash it in my room and lock the door everytime i leave. time to fight back.

  238. VeryUnhappyRoomie says:

    What about the anal retentive roomie who has nothing better to do than cause drama with the other roommates and the landlord? I’m dealing with one of those right now.

  239. Tupac says:


  240. Sickfoyou says:

    You forgot a classification for David Healey. A shrimp of a man who is an obnoxious alcoholic who could never follow through with a single promise or chore. He has a galactic size ego and a piglet slob of a girlfriend who he married. Hope the two of them burn in hell together forever!

  241. Karl says:

    I had a roommate who was a Zanex addict and spent most of his days staring at his fishtank and eating junkfood. He would always steal my butter and denied it afterwards. I don’t know if he just ate it or what. One time I put a note inside the butter package – “Quit stealing my butter, asshole!”. He got really mad and yelled at me for leaving such a nasty note. “How did you find it? We’re you STEALING MY BUTTER???” He finally had to admit that he was…

  242. roommate wanted says:

    I’m 4 of the 9 lol

  243. marquis maldoulva says:

    damn.these are some messed up scenarios, I wouldn’t put up with even 1 week of any of that stuff. You people must have infinite fountains of patience.

  244. ladydio says:

    You also forgot the guy whose EX-girlfriend is always over with their 2-YEAR OLD that YOU have to end up watching because they’re always either arguing or doin’ it or arguing THEN doin’ it. Yeah, your flatmate’s EX-girlfriend who stays in your flat five nights a week and has half of her shit stored there and is always inviting her idiot friends over. And let’s not forget how much fun it is when she rushes out the door mumbling something about ‘could you mind the kiddo’ and ‘won’t be five minutes’, so you’re stuck staring down into the rapidly widening eyes of a 2 year-old who’s just realised that it’s mother has left it with some strange, tattooed freak. When mommy returns 2 HOURS LATER, she moves all of your stuff around in the fridge and cupboards to make room for the 2 shopping trolleys-worth of groceries she’s just bought, which she will use to fill every single one of your pots, pans and plates, leaving them for you to wash up (because she’s got to get her kid ready for bed).

  245. Carrie Underwood says:

    Bummer – sounds like a real asshole :(

  246. Jamie King says:

    I think THIS GUY takes the cake: http://www.digitalfuntown.com/videos/151

  247. Anonymous. says:

    You forgot to add a number 10 -
    ‘The foreign exchange student who has not only invaded your country but also your flat, this flatmate cooks weird smelling food which stinks out your flat for days on end, these flatmates are filthy dirty people with no personal hygiene and also chain smoke like crazy. They are rude and obnocshis and like to spend the early hours of the morning on skype shoutig loudly in their foreign language and have no respect for their other flatmates’

  248. NakedRoommates says:

    How about The Whore. The roommate who is really unattractive and yet refuses to keep her clothing on because being naked increases her chance of fucking everyone you two meet. ….I wish I could have gotten a few #9s. I have all the other ones rolled into one and I’m a #9. lol

  249. mely says:

    who writes this crap? Do they know the difference between “you’re” and “your”?

    “When you’re roommate is in a relationship, it’s like you’re in a relationship, too”

    And why is there a photo of a woman under the “Mr. Anal Retentive” title?

    Seriously, who allowed this idiot to write an article? Nice choice in writers, holytaco.


  250. x3na says:

    what about the one who’s always smoking your pot. Sucks when you cant even smoke a damn joint by yourself, just to deal with their bullshit in the first place. Always asking if they can hit that, or reminding you to “pass that shit” If I wanted to pass it to you I would mother fucker. Weed moochers suck ass…

  251. You forgot one -.- says:

    The Schizohead.


    A sample of what I have to listen to almost 24 hours a day.

  252. anony says:

    Haha, you really making fun of gamers? Just who the f**CUNT do you think might actually read this poor mans version of another lame lad mag blog? get real guys.

  253. Blakesly says:

    You guys kill me… lol seems like everyone has had a terrible roomie now and again. It’s inevitable that everyone gets atleast one. I was a little anal retentive myself sometimes but my logic is… if your going to cook, clean your dishes… right? If your gonna have a beer pong tournament in the middle of our apartment, take down the table and clean up all the red cups the next day… right? Anyway my favorite moment was when I went out to dinner and had alot of the appetizer and wasn’t really hungry for my entree so I took it to-go. I put it in my fridge so I could eat it a little later. Well I went to class and came home to find that my $15 meal was still still there… but when I opened it there wasn’t any food… just 2 measily dollars. MY ROOM-MATE ATE IT AND LEFT ME TO FOOD COVERED BUCKS.

  254. Grump says:

    That is the longest, most incoherent sentence I’ve ever seen in my life. Incredible.

  255. Anonymous says:

    my roomys annoying always clean clean cleanin WTF ever heard of cleaning maybe once or twice a week fuck then i have work 2 go 2 he sits on his ass all day watching the news hey man the stock market rose good 4 you man good 4 you he always complains i dont have any money cuz the stocks r down no you dont have money cuz you dont work i get my ass chewed every day if i leave 1 thing out 4 a sec and at work BITCH boss and ppl r fin annoying so im quiting 4 something new i dont have a collage education and i droped outa high school tell me if theres a good place 2 work that pay isnt too bad

  256. Pierre says:

    haha. your post and my eyes are like similarly charged magnets. As soon as i try to look at it, they immediately glance off in another direction.

  257. g says:

    What the hell was the point here?

  258. RoboPanda says:

    What are you saying? I don’t speak retardese.

  259. Anonymous says:

    your going to homeless and jobless. youre no the only one but but still it sucks to be just like you. i should know i droppedout of high school too.

  260. Anonymous says:

    No college education you say? Well, I never.

  261. Anonymous says:

    i know exactly what your saying mate (even if no one else possibly would)

  262. Ryan says:

    Instead of that picture listed under “The Borrower,” a picture of my roommate in my clothes would have been perfect. In fact: a picture of my roomate in my boxers (what kind of guy wears other guys boxers?), my expensive brand name button down – with ink stains all over the place, trumped by a blazer, and flip flops. I’m happy to submit, maybe that would get him to stop??

  263. Terillius says:

    What about the Schizo roommate? He is the guy you made up because you are so fucking down on everything and everyone that you live alone and read “top-9″ lists on the internet to justify your loathing of society.

  264. Rev. Al Sharpton says:

    I moved in with two friends of mine. It’s Berts grandmothers old house before she passed. Me and J-dub my other roomie have jobs. His is a monday through friday, and I work rotating swing shifts, so I work five to five, days and nights, depending. Bert doesn’t have a fucking job, and doesn’t pay rent. So J and myself pay his portion. He doesn’t do anything while we are at work. Doesn’t wash, or clean anything. Refused to mow the yard. He has a dog that I feed when I get home. I am hardly ever there because I work so much, and I was paying for groceries, and he would eat them before I had any of it. Drink a whole gallon of milk in one night. I would like to be the guy who brings his girlfriend over to his place, to fuck. But I’m too embarrased to bring her over. Berts fuckin dirty clothes and dip bottles all over the goddamn place. Used dishes. He even uses my fuckin towells. He graduated last may, and refuses to look for a job. When I bring it up, he says, I’m tired of making people happy, doing stuff just for them, I want some me time. I’m going to have to move out, for us to remain friends. It’s sad. OH, and worst of all, his parents are rich, and fully support him. Like give him money every week. So when he does occasionally buy shit. He acts like he’s black fuckin jesus and we should suck him off, for being so nice to us and buying shit like, paper towells or washing machine detergent. When it wasn’t even his fuckin money. idk. Maybe i’m just an asshole. Or maybe no one wants to work all night, get home at six in the morning kick over a spit bottle coming through the door, and being greeted by a 260 pound hairy ass hanging out of boxers passed out on the couch. ( p.s. he’s always getting drunk, and acting like a bitch)

  265. Old Guy says:

    Yes, but what about these:

    The “I’ll deal drugs to underage girls in hopes of getting laid/photos to sell and keep bags of chemicals and weed hidden in the common bedroom closet?” room mate? He was also my boss and he lived on 2 liter bottles of Moutain Dew.

    I got mysterious phone calls from detectives for awhile ’till I moved out and he got busted.

    Then there was “Lonely/horny female room mate who would keep me – and on different nights my other 2 male roomies – up ’till 2 am telling us how lonely/horny she was but wouldn’t think of allowing a mercy fuck from the guys she made listen to all her crap.” room mate. She wasn’t my type but we all could have gotten laid. Instead she became “crying girl” room mate and moved out.

    And I’ve noticed a certain theme about ferrets…

    I once had the ferret owning “I’ll stage a daylight robbery of the apartment and the only thing missing will be the cash in your room.” room mate. What a dick. He decided to become the girlfriend of the girl we roomed with and she finally kicked his deadbeat ass out.

    The good times were the girlfriend who broke in, cleaned the house and left pink carnations everywhere. Then she came back at 2AM in nothing but a raincoat with a carnation between her teeth. God love her.

    My new room mates are the anal retentive, the slob/gamer and the slob/deadbeat.

    But they’re my wife and sons.

    No more carnations.

    What are you gonna do?

  266. Another bitch fest says:

    I don’t even know how to categorize my roommate hell through college.

    I’m a female, and always insisted on male roommates to supposedly cut down on BS. How I was wrong!

    My first roommate stole Vicoden from my parent’s house when he stayed with us during the holidays since he couldn’t afford to fly home, and then when I caught him with MY prescription bottle, he says he was going to commit suicide with the pills and had been plotting it for a while.

    My next roommate was an extreme Southern boy. At first, he was quiet and polite, and we were pretty good friends. He turned into the Food Stealing/ Violent Drunk/Partier whose friends would bring home girls from the club and were always f*cking in the bathroom….ew…We got into a fight about dishes one night and he went to punch me in the face. He missed.

    The next roommate was a punk rock guy, who I got along with really well except….he was the only one out of his friends that didn’t live with their parents so he ALWAYS had 5 other immature, drunk punk rock boys running around our place breaking stuff, getting the cops called on us, etc.

    The next guy to movein lived at my place for about 4 hours. He let me know he would probably only be living in my place a few months. Why….he had a court date coming up for battery and “knew” he wouldn’t be coming back. OUT! At least he was honest…..

    I then finally decided to let a girl move in. She was never home and practically lived with her bf, but…of course she never wanted to pay the full amount of rent because she “was never there”.

    Ugh….now I have NO roommates and it is BLISS!

  267. mramansingh says:

    wen it comes down to roommates, an anal retentive bitch is perfect

  268. blah blah black sheep says:

    I second the vote that roommates never fall into one of these categories; they’re always combo-deals. I got stuck with 2 slob-gamer-couch potatoes. Right when they’d come in the door, the computers went on, along with every light in the house and the TV & Stereo. Our electric bill was $500 a month. How, you ask? Because dip-shit mcgee would leave the oven on for hours after cooking pizza rolls while the AC was cranking full blast to try to compensate. I moved in with the guys to save money, but ended up losing more money than when I lived on my own. Trash everywhere. The odor that smacked you in the face when you walked in could strip paint off a ship. And they were always cussing at their computers. One was fat, really fat, and always smelled horrible, especially since he’d eat nothing but take-out pizza and junk food while sweating profusely. It always smelled like ballsack and gym socks.

    On a positive note, the NEVER had girlfriends over (because they didn’t HAVE girlfriends). And, they were on-time with the rent.

    Unfortunately, one of the other roommies paid the rent, and we lumped-sum the money for all rent and bills to him. This sucked, too, because he never showed us the bills, only told us how much to pay him. After 2 months of paying more than I budgeted, I told him to show me the bills before I paid him, and that I would do the calculations to split it 3 ways. Turns out I was overpaying him on avg $50 and he was just pocketing it. Not maliciously, but he just didn’t keep track of numbers and didn’t realize it.

    One of the worst living experiences of my life. I’d rather eat my pride and ask mom and dad if I could move back in before suffering through that shit again.

  269. B says:

    What about the over emotional roommate? The roommate that’s crying all the time and dumps all of his/her problems/emotions on you. Maybe not very common, but that’s my situation at the moment.

  270. stuffete says:

    I’m the girlfriend who’s always over. I live with my parents, so we go to my bf’s place a lot. On behalf of my species, sorry u guys.

    Honestly, i’m always in his room, but then I’m also the girfriends who is always over and who is incredibly loud during sex, agian, sorry

  271. LittleB says:

    I honestly don’t know what’s worse a guy who’s emotional or some chick who is. being a man myself, I would find that situation uncomfortable indeed.

  272. dannie78 says:

    they didnt mention the junkie
    my girl used to have this little shit over and all he wanted to do was fucking snort pain meds up his nose

  273. yayy says:

    they 4got to mention ‘the pothead’

  274. hates roommates says:

    My old roommate is a combo of the first 6 all put together. When I moved out he had been telling me for a month plus that he was looking for a job, even though he just sat aound all the time watching TV and playing video games. The day I moved out he was lounged across my couch and I had to tell him to get the f&*k off that I was moving. LOL. Hi-larious.

  275. Jessica says:

    How about the “I come home from the shittiest day at work to find multiple household items of mine broken and strewn about the house and crappy techno vibrating the entire apartment complex (sad realization it was coming from MY apartment) and URINE ALL OVER the bathroom floor (literally, did not even hit the toilet) and the roommate belligerently giggles on his bedroom floor when I confront him about the drunken mess he’s made” roomie?

    this unfortunately did not only happen once…and we only lived together for 2 or 3 months!

  276. Shamsizzle says:

    They forgot the roomate who’s ur old best friend that mooched off of u and told u that she was looking 4 a job but no one would hire her becuase she was half black and half white even if I was full black and still had a job . Than she stole from me and brought her druggie friends over the house when I was at work and broke every dam thing I had, and the next day she moved out leaveing a note that said I changed and I was a stuck up snob who wouldnt give her any chances! If I see that girl again I swear thats the day I’ll be going to jail!
    but whatever I’ll get my revenge…
    trust me, I’ll get my revenge ^___^

  277. Just Great says:

    This is why roommates are NEVER a good idea. It’s like living with your annoying bitch sister, except now your parents aren’t around to tell her to fuck off.

  278. Anonymously doomed guy says:

    wow i think im moving in with 2 guys that are all of these, well minus the food stealer and the guys whose g/f is always over.

    Mike= 2, 4 , 5

    Phil= 9

    dam this shitty economy for making me move :(

  279. that guy says:

    What about the “Gets pissed off because he just came home from working 12 hours and his house is filled with fucks he doesn’t know so he shoots his gun off on the front porch” roomate? Oh wait that’s me.

  280. perry says:

    You forgot the obvious … NAKED GUY! Always “just getting out of the shower” … sleeps naked, eats naked, watches porn in the living room naked.

  281. Ray says:

    I’ve got it pretty bad now. I have 3 roomates, 2 that pay rent. 1 of those two is ok, he works hard, drinks hard, and goes to sleep. It would be nice if he cleaned more but whatever, he doesn’t bother me. The other one on the other hand. This scumbag has been on unemployment for 14 months. Didn’t think it was possible? Me neither, but it is. He sits on the couch all day, doesn’t clean, pisses on the floor, and then has the audasity to say one word to me. Dude, just die already. It’s not like he’s disabled or too snobby to take a shit job, he can lift heavy shit, he can get a job, he just won’t because he want’s to keep abusing the system. He buys all the new video games, has every system, eats take out every night, is super obnoxious, bitches about whose turn it is to buy toilet paper and then spends…$1.50 on the cheapest shit the dollar store has. The worst part yet, he met some drug addict girl at a bar, brought her drunk ass home, banged her out. I should menton it was his first in 3 years, she hasn’t left. it’s been 5 months this homeless chick is living in our house not paying rent, taking up a space in the driveway forcing me to move cars whenever we want to get out, and using up the utilities. Please, does anyone know a place that has murder for hire. Oh yea, and their dumpster pets shit in the house twice a day.

  282. Maria says:

    Or when I discovered that my roomie usually used my saucepan to wash her period panties… I think this is the perfect person with you could live!

  283. pfloyd234 says:

    Pure GENIUS……Reading this List of Virtue & Truth allowed me to escape my miserable sorry existence of a life for just a short moment in time similar to what it would be like to have sex with a hot girl you met in an alley but finding out it’s actually a guy but saying screw it because who is going to know and it is really really dark in the room and girls wouldn’t get on your bed even if they saw a 50 pound rat running by…..so what the hell. Keep up the good work Holy Taco!!

  284. Orwhatever says:

    I love how they couldn’t find a picture of a man for Mr Anal Retentive.

  285. rascal says:

    you forgot about the worst roomate of all, the wife!

  286. swade says:

    seriously- who are you people?!

  287. JNH says:

    I guess I’m just lucky. I’ve had 3 roomates and there was never a problem. I would tell them the easy rules before they moved in, then type it up and have them sign it. I think having a large, long house helped because the acoustics are great. The boarders room is huge and has hook up for Satelitte TV and Internet and a bathroom. Out of all 3, there was never a Saturday that the rent wasn’t on the counter. All 3 hated to leave….marriage, prison and moved in with girl friend was the reason.

  288. Another bitch fest says:

    Oh yeah, and I can’t believe I forgot the cowboy…

    I had another roommate who thought he was a cowboy, and he was mysterious. He’d disappear for days at a time and come back with a broken arm, wrecked car, etc. with no explanation. My mom was visiting one weekend while he was living there and I went out on a date, leaving her with the cowboy, poor thing. The power went out and they were sitting there with candles and he told her about how his dad was shot by his uncle and he had to clean up the mess after the body was picked up. My mom asked me to never leave her with my roommates again. Ha….all true…kinda makes me laugh looking back….

  289. Manuel Hernandez says:

    Fuckin’ Mormon.

  290. Anonymous says:

    frickin idiot

  291. Anonymous says:

    or they live by themselves!

  292. Anonymous says:

    yeah, moron.

  293. Anonymous says:

    Depends if you count a dead body as a person.

  294. Anonymous says:

    I’m a stripper and I don’t do any of those things. Thats just stereo typing us all that way. So I disagree.

  295. Stripper Lover says:

    No such thing as a “stripper”…you’re nothing short of a prostitute.Not judging,just stating a simple fact.I LOVE how “strippers” say ” Oh,I’m just doing it to pay for school.” Ok , that one I’ll buy if they have proof of being a student…but THE BEST one is always “Well , I do it to pay my bills because I HAVE to.”- No you don’t,you slut,use your effing brain and get a REAL job that doesn’t reflect the fact that your Dad should be SO PROUD of his baby girl up on that pole…if you have ever even met your dad,that is.

  296. Anonymous says:

    you failed to mention the stripper. i used to live with 2 of them, and they are the worst to live with! they are the equivalent of combining the partier, the anal-retentive, and the food stealer into one!

  297. Anonymous says:

    you forgot the nosey roommate who looks through all your shit the minute you leave.

  298. Anonymous says:

    So true.

  299. Andrea says:

    Or what about The Victim? They’re almost all of the above, except number one, but try to act like you’re the bad guy. My girlfriend and I shared a flat with a girl I went to school with, and she was The Victim. She would use my good non-stick cookware with metal utensils and deny it, even though I’d have to throw them out and replace them. She ruined the pans my now-passed Grandmother left me. She brought her unbearable boyfriend over constantly, asked for loans, asked for us to watch her monster of a cat who chewed and clawed up all our furniture and urinated in our clean clothes basket while it was still warm from the dryer. Her cat collapsed the hood of our fish tank in and electrocuted all our fish, and she didn’t pay for anything. Eventually she got upset with us because we were hogging the living space, even though a majority of her furniture was loaned to her by us. She stole my liquor, used all my cooking equipment, but hoarded all her food in her room in a little minifridge. She began stealing our food and moving it to her room, and even stole our glassware to put in her fridge so she could have a frosted glass for later, for her soda. My girlfriend and I no longer have roommates, no matter how much a hit our lifestyle has to take.

  300. Anonymous says:

    Don’t forget The Roommate Who’s Face is Surgically Attached to the Phone.

    Sadly we were trapped in a single dormroom, and so I got to listen to all the (oh so very) intimate details of her relationship. In between the crying and arguing and the cheating and the epic drama of his heroin addiction. You’d think she might leave the room to seek out some privacy for those conversations, but nooope.

  301. Shade says:

    stuff like that doesn’t happen to people who know how to use their words.

  302. whatever says:

    Christ. I actually MARRIED that chick. She immediately started pulling on me all the BS she pulled on her parents.

    Ten years and two “accidental” kids later, she destroyed my career, put me deeply in debt, and drove away my friends and family. And THEN she makes ME go to a shrink to learn why I’m not happy. And the shrink tells me to divorce her! Funny thing is, once I actually started in on that, she got all nice all of the sudden and now we actually get along and it might work out. But it took going to a lawyer for her to realize I wasn’t so bad…

    Sorry. Too much info. Just don’t follow me here dudes.

  303. Joey says:

    Gah.. fucking talking..

    I don’t want to use my words..

  304. ... says:

    Wow, I’m sorry.

  305. . says:

    Been there, unfortunately.

  306. Mikki<3 says:

    Sound like your tellinq your story. . .I feel for ya

  307. Buddy Ice says:

    You forgot the girlfriend who you convinced to move in with you even though her and her parents thought she should at least be engaged first. Then when the pressure is on to get engaged you realize, it was a bad fucking move, and the only way out is a lot of fucking tears, and bullshit, and talking.

  308. Angry White Male says:

    Shoot the cat

  309. Anonymous says:

    You forgot the roommate who has a pet but is never home to take care of that pet. I have a roomie who brought up her cat to live with us. I didn’t mind because I brought a kitten in too. The only issue is she suddenly got a boyfriend and is now pretty much living with him, only she left her cat with me, never buys any of the food or litter, and pretty much expects me to take care of it. What would we call her? “Irresponsible Pet Owner Roomie?” “Oh My Gosh I Have A Cat Roomie?” Or my favorite, “Oh Noez! I Gave Your Cat Awayz To Teh Shelterz!”

  310. Buddy Ice says:

    “Oh Noez! I Gave Your Cat Awayz To Teh Shelterz!”

    Man, you’re a fucking genius. That line had me cracking the fuck up.

  311. M says:

    I had a platonic roommate who ripped off my money then, when I threw her out about five minutes after finding out, left a cat on the way out. Had three, didn’t like one, and ditched the thing knowing I can’t stand cats. Moved to the other side of the state and was like “didn’t notice it wasn’t with everything else .. uh, if you want to drive it here I guess you can drop it off…” I was gonna’ bring it to the no-kill shelter but my kid likes it so I’m the proud owner of a cat that I can’t stand and that doesn’t like me. Don’t imagine anybody here wants a cat?

    Off subject but what’s up w/ the Captcha? It’s making me type khomeini. Iranians following up the Chinese on their ‘net attacks?

  312. Scott says:

    Haha I agree with Buddy. Funniest damn thing I’ve read in a long time.

  313. bah says:

    How about the Roomie’s Girlfriend who is Always Over and decides that because you are the only other girl in the house that you two are automatically best friends and who borrow each others things all the time. Make that, she takes your shit without asking because “you can borrow [her] stuff anytime.” Too bad you’re 5 times bigger than me, please stop streching out my shirts…

    OR the roomie who goes away for a week, locks their bedroom door and leaves their alarm clock set to go off at 6:30 every morning.

  314. xuen says:

    I’ve got two room people that more then fill in a couple criteria.

  315. D:< says:

    I got a 9, 8 & 3 combo, It makes me feel like murdering the shit out of them people.

  316. bnt says:

    Jeez right now I could see myself as 7 of 9 of those….

  317. lshicrtmtfeaac says:

    laughed so hard i couldn’t read through my tear-filled eyes and almost choked!

  318. Renee Likealizardonawindowpane says:

    Maybe it was a block filled with erupting volcanoes, snipers with machine guns, and gorillas with ‘roid rage.

  319. Nonconscious says:

    She lived a block away and drove there?

  320. Anonymous says:

    Fuckers who move their gf in without asking the other rent payers need a solid beating. Worst thing ever ever ever is when a roomie’s gf moves in. That should be number 1. At least the anal retentive dude is cleaning shit up; he should be #9.

  321. Jo Schmo says:

    Agree! I had a roomate whos GF lived A BLOCK A FUCKING WAY and she never went home. Shes a slob and so were her roomates, so she lived in our place and bitched about it incessantly. Plus she was a ‘Vegetarian’ who only ate chicken, go fucking figure. everytime he went grocery shopping hed come back with 18 pounds of chicken, and get pissed when the roomies wouldnt throw cash to help him out. “I just bought us groceries, and nobody will throw a couple bucks”. Sorry Brah, im not paying for you and your GF to have dinner for the next month. Oh, and then theres hearing them fuck all the goddam time. And she parks at the end of the driveway, but doesnt work in the mornings, so you have to pound on roomies locked door at 8am cuz your late for work and theres a chevy paperweight blocking you in. AHHHHHHH!

  322. I've had worse says:

    What about the roommate who stabs you? It happens…

  323. Anonymous says:

    Lets see.. I’ve got the female slob.. I’ve got the girl whose boyfriend NEVER leaves, matter of fact, he has actually moved into my apartment. The gamer.. the mooch of epic proportions. I think my favorite experience has been finding the surprise condom wrappers everywhere. No, wait.. my favorite one of all was the fact that my roommate accused me of having an affair with her boyfriend.. I’m a lesbian. Yeah.. roommates, the bane of my existence.

  324. Anonymous says:

    LOL @ the guy whose gf is always over!
    so true, so true

  325. Emmy-chan says:

    There’s also the reverse girl who’s boyfriend is over all the time. works the same way…

  326. Emmy-chan says:

    There’s also the reverse girl who’s boyfriend is over all the time. works the same way…

  327. Also says:

    You also forgot the hypocritical stupid fat bitch who thinks she’s boss because she’s the eldest. The one who tells you to do this do that. Keeps an eye on you when you have friends or boyfriend over and tells them when they have to leave, yet her stupid fat friends can stay over as long as they want and even sleep over on fellow roommates beds when they’re out, THAT STUPID COW! When I left that house, I spat in her orange juice and I also had a cold then. If I ever see the selfish reincarnation of Jabba the hut again, GOD HELP THAT FAT BITCH! She was so fat, she auditioned for the biggest loser and they said, sorry, we don’t take professionals! Oh, and my brother also pissed on her car!

  328. weird says:

    A friend of mine lives in one of those shared houses for uni students when she goes to University (of course!) She always shared with people who came and went, mostly exchange students. There was this one time an asian boy came into the house and spent most of his time in his room, the others thought he must have been shy. When he moved out, another person was coming in and the room went to be inspected. It took them a while to open it because he had sealed the door and window with tape! Hell knows how he got out!

  329. Little B says:

    Nine is a good start I think you should update the list to 30 worst roommates.

    And create two more lists, interesting roommates and weird roommates. It should cover most of the topics.

    Speaking of which I had a friend whose roommate often dilate, from what i can surmise he was plainly annoyed by his roommate.

  330. Anonymous says:

    he sees himself as everyones father figure ?
    If your on a good deal with everything else, just ride with his BS until you have the means to move out. Do’nt build up any sort of friendship with the guy or you’ll end up just getting on eachothers nerves.

  331. Anonymous says:

    I currently live with two house mates, one of which owns the house. I’m a guy (just to clarify), and I own the dog that lives at the house. I made sure it was fine to have the dog there before I decided to get one. So anyway, (much like Law and Order) these are their stories.

    The ‘Grand Poobah’ – This guy owns the house. Well not really owns, but he’s paying the loan. We got a dog for the house, and this was all cool to begin with. I look after the dog as best I can (anyone with a dog will know that they aren’t just a feed and leave sort of pet, like a fish). But now he keeps getting all passive-aggressive and keeps hinting I should get rid of it. Fark that. I wouldn’t have got it in the first place if I didn’t intend on keeping it. I warned him that it wouldn’t be easy. He’s also a hypocrite, arrogant, and one of those people you get a continual feeling he’s looking down his nose at you without actually having to say anything. It’s that ‘my s*&t doesn’t stink’ face you keep seeing. The judgemental ‘you should live the way I do, and be the way I am, because I know best for everyone’ type. You know, typical self-assured dumbs*&t.

    The Other Guy – I’d say he’s the best housemate I’ve had. So it’s like a bitter-sweet sort of thing going on.

    Before this, I lived with 3 chicks. Sweet as, you think? HELLLL NO SON!!! It was like an A-Bomb surrounded by turds, garbage and tampons was let off in the house. Not to mention when one was pissy, they all were, and being the only guy it was like being raped in the arse without actually being penetrated. Lesson? DON’T EVER LIVE WITH JUST CHICKS (unless you’re rooting all of them. Constantly. And not paying rent. ;P)

    I’d really like tips on how to get across to the Grand Poobah that he’s an arrogant fuck who needs to worry about his own life before telling other people how to live theirs, but I’d like to be able to make it sound subtle and passive-aggressive like he would.

  332. J.A.V.S the 2nd says:

    me and my friend/former roommate joe were gamers but we knew when to stop we also had our girlfriends over alot or in joes case his 3 girlfriends. we always had the rent share and acctually did work. God those were happy times

  333. M says:

    That is the smartest thing I have heard anyone say, ever!!

  334. Anonymous says:

    every stereotype has some ounce of truth to it…there’s always those people who, even when given opportunities to do otherwise, perpetuate their stereotypes.

  335. shenanigan o'flanaghan says:

    A chap I shared a flat with was so socially awkward he could only communicate via Post-It notes. One afternoon I opened the kitchen drawer to find every utensil wrapped in a yellow note reading ‘Property of Chris Please Do Not Use’…I ignored this directive of course but gained some small modicum of revenge by placing a note of my own on the kitchen wall clock which read ‘Property of Shenanigan Please Do Not Tell Time By’.

  336. Jessica says:


  337. baljeet says:

    My smartass roommate stays in all day….tries to make forced conversations all the time..keeps staring at me for no reason…plays EXACTLY the music I hate…and asks me to “use headphones” if I try to play any……….AND talks with his girlfriend all night in his fucking annoying soprano, in a language I don’t understand.

  338. Timothy McVeigh Manson says:

    you forgot the serial killer. The one with the grungy, mangy hair, he always asks you a question that ends in “veditch-waggle vaggle bagga?” They always bury stuff in your sorry excuse of a backyard that always smells like a dead cat. Oh and don’t get me started on the many mannequin heads that get stuffed in your refrigerator with a permanent grimace on their face. They’re great cooks though.

  339. Anonymous says:

    serial killers live with their mommys you moron

  340. hehehe says:

    u guys forgot “the pot-head”… not that im complaining… heheheh

  341. bigfuckinmistake says:

    how about the fucking cunt of a roommate that gets knocked up two months AFTER you sign a 1 year lease together? yeah…needless to say after I heard that news I was frantically looking for a wire hanger to give her a back alley abortion…fat cow deserves it :)

  342. squarerobot says:

    Let’s see.
    I have a room-mate that I share my actual bed room with that goes to bed at fucking 9 pm even though WE WORK THE SAME SHIFT AT THE SAME JOB so I’m wide awake and he’s all TURN THE LIGHT OFF. Rage.
    I have a room-mate that is a condescending prick. Every time I put in a DVD or play music, it’s always “[blank] sucks. It’s not what I like and I only like good things. Every thing you like sucks.” Also he’s a prick that says ignorant shit and cockblocks you constantly.
    Then I have this guy who doesn’t leave food or anything, just empty jugs. So nothing smells, its just a fucking lot of empty jugs around his desk. WTF, the recycling bin is like, 20 feet.
    Anyways, the four of us are moving at the end of the month and the Jug Guy’s GF is moving in too.
    She practically fucking lives here.
    She’s one of those immature types that is super clingy and I wish she’d fucking die or suck my dick even though she’s not hot.

    I did see her tits though.

  343. Big Dan says:

    What about the MASTURBATER ROOMMATE who has been known to beat it at all hours of the day and in the common, shared living areas. Sometimes you come come and they are all sweaty and out of breath on the couch with thongsdaily.com pulled up on their browser. You find fresh spunk in an empty keg cup by the couch because the piece of shit is too lazy to do anything else with it. True story!

  344. Anonymous says:

    I have to reply to this one. A friend was lying down in his room with a migrane. Hears his other room mate, “Eric,” come home. Doesn’t make a sound because…he has a headache. He hears Eric start beating off. He figures, “Whatever, he’ll stop soon, and I’ll go back to wallowing in my misery.” Then he hears Eric yelling, “Oh, Eric! Oh, Eric!”

    Eric yells his own name while masturbating.

  345. Anonymous says:

    We regret to inform you that you’re application for roommate has been denied. While we understand this may negatively impact you, we’re sure someone else won’t mind you and your splooge-fest moving in there.

    Roommate Application Status: Fail.

  346. Anonymous says:

    and the towels all got crust and smell funny too. all the towels am i right?

  347. Spirithound says:

    Funny, the secular humanist tops my list of worst roommates….

  348. ring ting says:

    no, the fisting enthusiasts

  349. Anonymous says:

    you mean leftist liberal psychos

  350. green pooper scooper says:

    wait, this girl weighed 300 pounds…and had a BOYFRIEND? interesting…

  351. Anonymousrty says:


  352. Anonymous2 says:

    The female bathroom slob is a special breed… once you sit in someone else’s bodily fluid late at night you learn what true rage can be…

  353. Anonymous says:

    I don’t know if I’m more disturbed by the female slob or the fact that you’ve noted and recorded the colours and days on which she pooped.

  354. Anonymous says:

    I lived with a roommate who pooped and it would explode onto the seat. Also she would somehow get her blood on the wall and all over the roll of toilet paper. The slob is the most known roommate. The female slob is very unique, she also left used pad on her desk. When my other male roommate walked in to shut off her alarm she left on he brushed up against it and then realized what it was, he was horrified. When she ate halloween candy we were exposed to green and orange poop 3 days in a row, orange the first day when she and her boyfriend ate candy corn and orange reeses penutbutter cups. Green came from the other candies she ate the next day, gummi candies. She also weighed 300lbs and ate bacon and butter like it was the only food around. Nothing says awesome like Female slob, she’s usually much worse than the guy.

  355. Anonymous says:

    What about a roomie who comes to you and says “you probably should know that we have half a kilo of uncut speed in the freezer?..”

    About a year later there was weed growing everywhere, in every room, in every closet, in the kitchen, in the bathroom.. we even bought a new one for the livingroom so we could grow there too..Real jungle and he lived literally in the living room.

    How i miss that guy.. he passed away in the new year (not by drugs or anything related to them, in case you wonder.)

  356. Anonymous says:

    EDIT: .. we even bought a new one for the living room=a new closet

  357. 6th grade english teacher says:

    yea, reading youre grammar hurt more than listening to Carrot Top getting fucked in the ass by a carrot. go back to school, PLEASE

  358. Anonymous says:

    was that a txt msg?

  359. Riot1979 says:

    This hurts my eyes.

  360. mothra says:

    You dropped out of high school? wow, I could barely even tell!

  361. Tomikaze says:

    Ever heard of punctuation? Make it your new best friend. Now.

  362. Anonymous says:

    That is hysterical!

  363. ThePadrino says:

    What about the animal lover seems like everyone has a dumb little dog or cat jumping around.


  364. cnnic2005 says:

    I am an extreme case of number 1 and my last roommate was a 2. To make a long story short, I was ready to dig a 6*3*6 ft. hole in the backyard. lolChristian Louboutin Shoes

  365. fingfangfoom says:

    Yeah Yeah whatever man…hand me that bong if your not going to hit it.

  366. Anonymous says:

    The “pothead gang” should be a category. I like to toke some weed every now and then but it gets REALLY annoying when your garage and/or porch becomes the local center for disgusting ashtrays and hard after-bong-rip coughs. Don’t these people realize that marijuana is STILL illegal? Do they have to be just loud enough for everyone in the complex to hear their smoker’s coughs? Do these people not realize how to use a trash can or pick up munchies and/or drinks BEFORE they get blazed and go out driving with ounces of weed in their cars? Can they please, for the love of GAWD, NOT deal drugs in my house?

  367. Anonymous says:

    shut up and smoke a blunt.

  368. Anonymous2 says:

    An addendum to this: when they were coddled so much by their parents they leave messes and when you don’t clean up after them tell you that you aren’t respecting them. Then, when you move out before them and take your pots and pans they send you an e-mail that it was rude of you to “take stuff they use” and in retaliation leave a cigarette burn in their bedroom floor so you can’t get your deposit back.

  369. Anonymous says:

    You should add Momma’s Boy or Daddy’s Girl to this list.

    You know who they are… no matter what problems arise, they run to mommy or daddy to save the day. They throw away perfectly edible food and make comments about how hard it is to choose what new car to buy. You know that you should feel bad for them, and good about yourself, because you’re a responsible person who doesn’t need anyone to support them. But you can’t help resenting the fact that they live a blissfully unaware life while you shlep to your dead end job every day.

    The only upside to this roomate is that you can usually get some good scraps if they come home from going out to dinner with leftovers. Oh, and if they’re buying booze for the house, you know you’re gonna get the good stuff.

  370. Anonymous says:

    five stars for “shlep” usage

  371. Pierre says:

    stabbing doesn’t need 90 days advance notice.

  372. Anonymous2 says:

    LMAO Pierre

  373. Anonymous says:

    I have the worst roommate ever, she bearly cleans up after herself, but has no issue with bothering us to clean to(usually her mess). She steals food, and beer. I don’t think I have seen a day where her boyfriend isn’t here. During the weekdays if we so much as walk through the house with an MP# player going, she reminds that she has class at 10 am and we have to keep it down. Then on the weekends when the other roomie and myself need to be up for work at 5 am, she has no issue with bringing 40 people home from the bar to blast ABBA and do coke. Actually she’ll find anyway to keep you awake(fighting with her boyfriend, blasting shitty music, screwing loudly at 6 am) usually on the days we plan on sleeping in, or being up for work at daylight. Every month her check bounces.
    Best part of it all, you meantion shes doing anything wrong and she will find a way to turn it back on you, or break down hardcore.

    Sadly where I live, by law you have to give someone 90 days notice to be out, as along as they don’t destroy your house or physically harm you.

    We’re stuck with her.

  374. Lyle says:

    I’m kind of like the food ‘borrower’, or a mixture of the food staler and the borrower. I steal me roommate’s food, then act like it was my food, then fight with my roommate, then we make up. Then this cycle continues until my roommate gets pissed off and kicks me out.

  375. Anonymous says:

    love your work man !

  376. LittleB says:

    I have heard some interesting stories but this one is gross.
    A friend once told me that his roommate often uses his toothbrush as a sex toy. The brush end to be exact.

    And her’s my favorite, a roommate often plays the same song nonstop over two days.
    But that one is frigin annoying.

  377. crackiswaaaack says:

    you dont even know the half of it…although I’d say SUV is more akin to crack since the high is so short-lived and then you just need more to feel better….it’s a vicious cycle.

  378. Colorado Mike says:

    “Couch Potato heroine”? Really?

  379. Anonymous says:

    The Worst room mate is the fucking Hipocryte.

    One who is all the things above and then some, but will readily carry on if you put one toe out of their line of expectations.

    I Once had one who moved in after me. Then suddenly by sucking up to the owner she had lease. She then called it her house and I had to keep ‘her house’ clean and every other fucken thing, but then she could through big parties and not claen for a month or pay rent or any other shit. Then she did not like me standing up to her so she tried to kick me out.

  380. Casey says:

    Yeesh@the comments.

    My roommate is my boyfriend’s best friend of 11 years (boyfriend got an apartment so we could be together, lost my job in the process and am job-hunting like a madwoman), so the only way we could live together is if his friend moved in. For some ungodly reason, my boyfriend told his friend/our roommate “no rules” about a week before I moved in. So, now I get to clean up after an awkward, scrawny, slobby drunk 21 year old with the mind and cleaning habits of a child (do you know how awesome it feels to step on Doritos crumbs scattered all over the carpet, and then sit next to an unknown stain on the couch?). Surprisingly, he recently managed to get a girlfriend.

    He’s a nice guy and all, just not a tolerable roommate.

  381. AnonymousV says:

    I had a few bad roommates.

    The Plus One:
    One of my roommates decided to let her friend stay with us “just for like 2 weeks” because she was going through some kind of dilemma so I was like whatev cool, as long as she doesn’t cause any problems. ONE MONTH LATER this chick is walking around with her boobs pretty much dragging and tracing lines in th carpet, eating my food, using the washer like 3 times a days, borrowing my clothes AND then had some type of skin disorder where she was basically shedding and covered in dark spots…I finally got the nerve to tell her she had to go.

    Then comes the roommate I’m with now, I call her:

    The Don’t Leave Me:
    She basically hates when I leave, goes everywhere with me, and causes me to miss out on dates because she only wants to ‘double date’ and then when I decided to go on a date on my own she somehow either makes me feel bad or makes it seem like its a freaking competition. Ugh and it gets worse, when she finally gets to go on a date she doesn’t hesitate to tell me that she’s going alone. UGH my life is slowly becoming this girls playground.

  382. Cringe-worthy says:

    For future reference: if you’re going to go with AIDS, cancer, or the holocaust, it usually helps if your punchline is funny.

  383. Pam says:

    When I was a freshman and moved on campus, I was in a triple with two other girls, which means three girls in ONE tiny room. One girl, who was also blonde and white, like myself, was cool and very nice, the other girl who was Jamaican, was racist against white blondes. It was very interesting with her passive-aggressive notes and denial of touching your things. One day, THREE HOURS before class started, she woke up and decided to spray the room down with ammonia-based cleaners, that was a fun morning. When I asked her if she could be a little less quiet, she screamed at me that no one respects her individuality to clean the room as she sees fit. I also liked her post-its that told myself and my other roommate that we’re stupid bitches and she’ll hurt us if we touched her stuff. My other roommate moved in with her boyfriend, I found another room…
    Then, I moved in with one of my sorority sisters – bad idea. I’m a private person and I like to keep my relationships a bit to myself. She would have none of that – she would go through my stuff and pretend to be asleep when I would be on the phone. Then she would NEVER clean, so her side of the room was ALWAYS messy and decided that she didn’t feel like hooking up her computer the ENTIRE year so she would use mine all the time, even when I had homework to do. She’d also use my computer to snoop and find stuff out about me that I apparently “kept a secrete from her”.
    I live in a house, with other people now and it’s far better than any other experience I’ve had.

  384. inNE says:

    Living with room mates has to be the shelter of the last resort. The worst for me was to go to take an early morning leak, to find a mate’s tramp of the night lampoon in the toilet. But hey it wasn’t bloody one.

  385. EnO says:

    Man, I’ve had 9+3 and 8+2 at the same time before.

    9+3 pretty much had her boyfriend move in because she needed his car, and she never had the rent money. I would pretty much throw her out until she went to the bank to get the rent, then she would slip it into my room so she didn’t have to be around when I noticed she stiffed me $20 or so. Ended up kicking her out after three or so months.

    8+2 was my best friend and one of the best guys I knew, until I lived with him. He sat at his computer every free second he had and just browsed 4chan. Often smelled like sour milk, and brought over nasty women who also smelled like sour milk and had babys… that smelled like sour milk and baby poop. He weighed 400+lbs (not being scarcastic) and would sneak food from the fridge that wasn’t his, dispite the fact that he made twice as much money as me and our other room mate and had more food in the fridge. He would mark his food by writing his name on it but just eat ours. He also didn’t do his own dishes for about a month at one point. I never kicked him out cause he paid his rent almost two weeks early every month, and I really needed the money. He ended up moving out on his own when his aunt was about to die and was leaving him a house that resembled a shed about to fall over. I’m sure he is very happy there.

  386. Vg1L says:

    I used to have a roommate that was the deadbeat, the gamer, the couch potato, the food stealer, the “girl friend who was always over” roommate and the slob. It was horrible, he used to borrow things then put them away with his stuff, without asking. He never had money so he used all my stuff saying”i get payed in like 4 weeks and i should be getting a lot of money close to $1000, so ill pay you back. He never had a car either, so i had to drive him places. He would steal my food and the try to make up for it by buying 20 frozen dinners and saying that they weren’t just for him, they were for everyone. And if i caught him getting ready to eat my food i told him no, and he would go tell my other roommate about “how mean i was to him”, and if i had soda, it would be gone in about a day. He used my ps2 and TV all day, and when i would ask to use it he would get all defensive like i shouldn’t be interrupting his gaming. then when he wasn’t playing the games, he would pass out on the couch. he would also make messes, and never clean them. His excuse was he was never there. There would be mold on bowls and plates and he would keep food in his room then it would go bad and make his room stink. And when he would try to help clean he would just shove things in random places and i couldn’t find them. Yet when i moved out he talked shit about how i was messy. He would walk off with random shit he had no use for and we would find them in his room a week later. he also managed to fill MY trashcan with MY trash bags up within about 5 hours too. i ended up having to hide the trashcan, so he just threw shit on the floor. I tried getting threw to him for over a year about his problems, i even emailed the student housing director about my problems, then she would talk to him and he would come home making me feel bad for saying shit about him.

  387. Anonymous says:

    I am in the military and I live in a barracks room. Our room is separated by a thin sheet of plywood and we share a bathroom/kitchen.

    On to my story:
    I had this one black guy for a roommate. He and I got along and based on what I often heard while he talked on the phone, he was involved in alot of community work for under-priviledged kids…so I kinda admired him in that respects.
    He however had three major problems I particularly didn’t care for…and has changed the way I deal with my constantly-changing room mates now and forever..

    1. He was very loud and often disrespectful. I listen to music infront of my computer all day while I study or do my art stuff so I rarely hear him during the day. BUT he would continue to be loud even after lights out! I repeatively told him to be quiet but eventually he just started asking me “What are you gonna do?”

    2. He was a slob. He belongs to a different “command” then I, and I would get my common areas (kitchen/bathroom) inspected atleast twice a week! I found constant room failures littering my neat clean-smelling bed because of my common areas. When I approached him about it he once again smirked, “What are you gonna do?”

    3. He brought his girlfriend over and they would screw at any time of the day. She would leave a mess which he didn’t ever clean all over the bathroom and was even more disrespecful then he was! She would stand up for him when I approached him about how much of an ass-hat he was while she was there, even though she didn’t know what the hell we were talking about..NOR had any business in!

    So after many warnings my command came to me and told me to get HIS command’s information so they would talk to them and force him to start cleaning the common areas…since they didn’t care about anything other then me passing my room inspections. The look on his face when I practically forced him to give me the info was spectacular! His girlfriend started to cry…I will never forget those delicious tears.
    When I told them about his girl they flipped and he got into major trouble with his command!
    No more then two days after they talked to his command, his command had decided just to move him to a different room! Hold assholes like this to being responsable and clean, and they would much rather move out then deal with it!! I was amazed!
    Now my roommates are all new guys right out of boot camp and are still afraid to do anything…so I get lots of sleep at night and a clean room!

    Snitches get stitches, but being owned by the US government makes you truely appreciate how little control you have over your own life..as he quickly discovered when he found himself conforming to MY expectations without his consent! (for two days atleast)

    So yeah, I don’t know where I was going with this.

  388. thenaughtyplace.com says:


  389. Sometimes says:

    That girl irritates the hell out of me. “Why can’t I just go home? I promise I won’t tell anybody.” Blah, blah, blah…
    Always the same with her.

  390. Sickpigs says:

    What about “The Girl in the hole in your basement.” The constant crying and pleading is a real pain in the ass.


  391. Anonymous says: