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A Warning From The Lord…Or A To-Do List?

Whenever I see one of these fun God-is-watching-you-masturbate lists I always get excited to see which ones I’ve done and which ones I need to do. And while all of us have lied or lusted or stole or practiced witchcraft on occasion, there are always a few “sins” on here that make absolutely no sense at all. Not only is “murder” tucked away on the lower right like it’s an afterthought, but why is incest on here? Are there a lot of brothers and sisters who are just dying to bone each other but won’t because God doesn’t want them to? I think most siblings are way more into hating their parents than getting it on. And what the hell is “shacking”? Is that a combination of “she jacking” or is it more like sharting? Because if it’s the latter, I’m crossing it off my list.

Other crap to look at:
Quick and Dirty Gossip with Lennox Miller (drunkenstepfather)
The Sexiest Women of Singapore (fhm)
Karina Jellinek is sexy as hell (gorillamask)
This is why taking the bus sucks (nothingtoxic)
Angelique Boyer hates clothes and happens to be attractive (barstoolsports)
Elena Barolo has breasts (doubleviking)
This is the nerdiest version of The Final Countdown (EJB)
Mischa Barton has a case of Bud Light. Awesome. (bestweekever)

17 Responses to "A Warning From The Lord…Or A To-Do List?"

  1. Rodolfo says:

    Wow, this should be on a tshirt

  2. Timothy says:

    Ehh people question things like this and question why they need to highlight such things, well look at the condition of the world.

  3. Heathen says:

    ‘Whoremonger’ is my favorite word.

  4. Pratik says:

    “Douchecock” is mine.

  5. Stopher says:

    no where on this list is the word masturbation. I guess I’m worthy now :D

  6. Anonymous says:

    Erm….

    God is watching you, you darned Whisperer! Bet you never thought talking while the teacher was would send you to Hell!

  7. webster's little helper says:

    shacking is simply living with another person that you are romantically involved with but not married to. that’s it.

  8. Anonymous says:

    That’s true. If I didn’t touch myself at night, the dinosaurs would still be around. *sigh* that would be cool.

  9. Anonymous says:

    I was just whispering about gay the other day. I had no idea that was a sin.

  10. Newt says:

    Apparently, the makers of the poster think we need ALOT of reinforcement. “Disobedient to parents” and “Hating parents” are both there. “lying” and “deceit” are on there. As are “stealing” and “theft”. “worshiping false gods” and “witchcraft”. Surprising that they left out “pimpin” to go with “whoremongering” or “getting some strange” to go with “having an affair”.

  11. b0b says:

    Shacking is where you are not married to but still live with a girl. Hopefully not paying rent and hopefully without her parents.

  12. jf says:

    Shacking up is hooking up… then followed up by the walk of shame… ahhh memories..

  13. panda says:

    How do you not know what shacking is? College students do it all the time. It’s just where a girl spends the night in your room.

    And in case you don’t believe me, here’s the Urban Dictionary #1 definition: “a term used when a member of one sex spontaneously spends the night with a member of the opposite sex in a non-platonic way, usually following a night of bar-going or after a fabulous date.” Get up on yo shit, son

  14. Buddy Ice says:

    What if you murder a Cheating, Lying, Backbiter? I know it says committing murder is wrong, but c’mon. If Murder cancels out … let’s say Backbiter … then you’re still up 2 right?

  15. quarrygirl says:

    this poster is absolutely hilarious. my favorite is “whoremonger”! that’s not even a verb…!

  16. d0zer says:

    shacking is one night stand

  17. So, i don’t get it. Is it a sin to whisper at a backbiter? Is my dog a sinner?