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America’s Next Top…Polygamist

There’s no denying those Polygamy gals who are all over the news these days have their fingers on the fashion button. So, let’s go behind the scenes of the new hit show, America’s Next Top Polygamist. Who’s going to be this year’s winner?!?!

america's next top polygamist
ANTPs runway coach spent countless hours working with the girls on the Court Steps routine. Looks like someone’s been practicing!

america's next top polygamist
The dark-blue and light-blue teams are locked in an epic “pose off” battle. Who’s going to come out on top?!?

america's next top polygamist
Tensions are running high before the final elimination round of ANTP…

america's next top polygamist
Anne-Marie just had a terrible photoshoot with TIME magazine and is worried that she might get eliminated. Hang in there!

america's next top polygamist
Here, the judges tell Alberta she needs to look more like a 1892 pilgrim, instead of a 1492 quaker. Can she recover?

america's next top polygamist
Elimination can be devastating. It’s time to pack your rucksack and say goodbye, but don’t cry. There are other fish in the sea…that you can share with other women!

america's next top polygamist
And we have a winner! According to the judges, those braces and her “child bride” look gave her the winning edge. She’s just won an all-expense-paid stay at a Texas compound, hours of non-consentual sex and a brand new full length drab-colored dress. Way to go!

5 Responses to "America’s Next Top…Polygamist"

  1. Vent says:

    I say, let them live in peace. Those women are so butt-ugly they ain’t never gonna get anybody in the real world anyway.

  2. TooManyPantsinOneCompound says:

    How many pants does a Polygamist need?

    NONE.

  3. Pratik says:

    How could a polygamist go down an assembly line made of these chicks and maintain enough hard-on’s to make all 83572487582496 kids that we saw on the news? I think “polygamist” should be on urbandictionary.com with an entry that says “so desparate and old that he has to get with chicks that William Penn and Richard Simmons would’ve laughed at.”

  4. KArmarules says:

    The Church of Jesus Christ Of Laterday Saints, is a cult. Very real stuff people. These people would do anything their leader tells them to, because they truely believe he is a prophet chosen by God. I’ve only heard in stories of families like this, and I’ve been involved with the “Church” myself. I pray for these women, and their children, and hope that they see the truth.
    At the same time anyone hear the saying ” it takes a village to raise a child” ?

  5. Great post! Just wanted to let you know you have a new subscriber- me!


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