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Amy Winehouse Is All “Gunked Up.”

A few weeks ago Amy Winehouse collapsed and had to be taken to the hospital. I think at this point people at the hospital near her have probably given some kind of code name for this. Like, “we’ve got an 873 and a 772 coming in,” and then some new doctor who’s still training pulls a grizzled nurse aside and goes “what’s that mean?!” and she’s like “Amy Winehouse collapsed and Halle Berry hit someone with her car.” Anyway, let’s hear Amy Winehouse’s dad give his medical diagnosis to people.com:

“With smoking the crack cocaine and the cigarettes her lungs are all gunked up,” Mitch Winehouse tells Britain’s Sunday Mirror.

That diagnosis reminds me of when I went to Spain and my stomach hurt so I went to the hospital and the Doctor spoke no english and was trying to tell me what was wrong with me and finally goes “Um, you having too much poops and farts in you stomach.” Except Winehouse’s dad speaks English so I’m not sure what his excuse is.

Although, if you think about it, maybe they found a bunch of different crazy shit in her lungs when they did the x-ray and the doctor stood in front of it and was like, “I’m not even sure how to diagnose this. I guess we should just say it’s gunked up.” I’m betting her x-ray looked something like this:

I’m not sure if the hand was holding the royal flush before it got into her lungs, or if they arrived during separate events.

4 Responses to "Amy Winehouse Is All “Gunked Up.”"

  1. El Rico says:

    I wouldn’t dip my stick in that for all the money….scratch that. It would cost millions.

  2. Keeblerkahn says:

    Damn, I always thought the Lindberg baby and the sock I lost last week would be in there.

  3. Fred says:

    Look! Jimmy Hoffa!

  4. Ada says:

    Hilarious post, I like the mouse reference from that video she did. Couldn’t she just be forced in to a drug rehab? She is clearly a danger to herself, if no one does anything to stop her she will overdose soon. Maybe her dad was assuming the people at the Sunday mirror didn’t have any intelligence to understand a more scientific explanation.