I’ve never been to Russia, but I used to think it would be a really interesting place to visit. Now, I’m not so sure. According to MSNBC:
MOSCOW – A monument to the enema, a procedure many people would rather not think about, has been unveiled at a spa in the southern Russian city of Zheleznovodsk.
The bronze syringe bulb, which weighs 800 pounds and is held by three angels, was unveiled at the Mashuk-Akva Term spa, the spa’s director said Thursday.
“There is no kitsch or obscenity, it is a successful work of art,” Alexander Kharchenko told The Associated Press. “An enema is almost a symbol of our region.”
Kharchenko, 50, said the monument cost $42,000 and was installed in a square in front of his spa on Wednesday. A banner declaring: “Let’s beat constipation and sloppiness with enemas” , an allusion to a line from “The Twelve Chairs,” a famous Soviet film comedy , was posted on one of the spa’s walls.
“This device is eternal, it will never change,” she told the AP. “We could promote this brand, turn it into a franchise with souvenirs and awards for medical doctors.”
It’s nice to see a place be honest about what their symbol. Russia just cut the crap and said, “Look, we jam these things up our asses so much, we built a goddamn sculpture about it.” If other cities and countries did the same thing, we’d have a lot more interesting sculptures littering this land.
So it got me to thinking. What if other cities built sculptures to their real symbols? Here are a few suggestions.
Genital Swabbing – Tiujana, Mexico
Lymphoma – Three Mile Island, Pennsylvania
Wife Beating – All of Alabama
Getting Run Over By A Car – Queens, New York
Colorectal Exams – Wichita, Kansas
Diabetes – Eastern Kentucky
Pompous Rich Assholes – Nantucket, Massachusetts
Exchanging Sex For Money – Las Vegas, Nevada
Shooting Anything And Anyone That Moves – San Antonio, Texas
Adult Diapers – Tampa Bay, Florida
Not Really Sure – Montana, Wyoming, Nebraska and both Dakotas
Being Proud Of Maple Syrup – Burlington, Vermont
Potatoes? Yes, Potatoes – Boise, Idaho
Crapping - West Patterson, New Jersey
We Gave You Rick Moranis – Canada
Other Crap To Look At:
Aubrey O’Day has some trashy cleavage (drunkenstepfather)
25 Historical Events Described By 5 Year Olds (cracked)
Gianne Albertoni is hotter than you (gorillamask)
You might need some anti monkey butt powder (Best Week Ever)
5 funny soccer goals (cameltap)
Granny fight! (doubleviking)
Jodie March is topless (hornyoyster)
This is a DUI waiting to happen (tastybooze)
Erik Estrada gets attacked by a midget (weakgame)