Recently we here at the Taco were talking about anal sex (shocking, I know) and we realized that the way women feel about anal sex is almost identical to the way they feel about eating at the restaurant Chili's. Here's how we broke it down.
1. Women Who Don't Love Chili's But Will Eat There On Ocassion
A lot of womenthink Chili’s is just okay. If they’re hungry and they’re near a Chili’s, you might be able to talk them in to eating there. Or, if it’s your birthday, and Chili’s is your faaaavorite place to go, then your girlfriend might say “okay, fine, it’s your birthday, we’ll go to Chili’s and I won’t complain. I’ll even order the Queso Skillet.” They'll never ask to go to Chili's, but they can understand why you enjoy the food there, even though it's not something healthy to have every day.
2. Women Who Will Only Eat At Chili's When They're Drunk.
If these women are sober, they’ll tell you how disgusting Chili’s is, and how they would NEVER eat there. But as soon as they’re wasted, they’re like “I am craving for some Chili’s.” Then the next morning they’ll be like “Oh my god, where did we eat last night?” and when you say “Chili’s” they’ll tell you “Don’t get used to eating there. I feel sick.” And sometimes if they’re drunk enough, they’ll wander into Chili’s by accident, because they’ll think they’re someplace else. Then by the time they realize it’s Chili’s, they’re hungry and they’re there, so why not?
3. Women Who Hate Chili's, Even Though They've Never Eaten There.
Unfortunately, there are some girls that absolutely refuse to partake of even the occasional Chili’s dinner, no matter how hungry they might be. They've never eaten there, but they've seen the commercials for it, and they don't like how it looks. If she catches you driving down the street that Chili’s is on, she’ll immediately say “you know I’m not eating at Chili’s right?” even before you’ve asked her if she wants to eat there. You can’t even say, “What if we just get an appetizer?!” Not only do they not like Chili’s, but they look down on girls who do like Chili’s. And if you attempt to bring up a friend of theirs who you heard likes Chili’s, they’ll ask you “how do YOU know she likes Chili’s? Have you been to Chili’s with her?”
4. Women Who Can Not Get Enough Chili's
Then, finally, there’s girls who absolutely love Chili’s. They go to the bar at Chili’s, they watch games at Chili’s, when you’re out on the town and you ask them where they want to eat tonight, they probably won’t bring up Chili’s, but if they’re driving the car, they’ll just drive there and be like “Here we are at Chili’s!”
if you have trouble getting your girl to buy into the whole idea, here's my trick. works every time.
go down on the bitch and tease the hell out of her until she's just gagging for it and then just put the tip of your finger or your tongue on her asshole. nothing aggressive - just a presence - just enough to let her know something is there. she'll LOVE it trust me and be so up for a little ass action. but don't think you can then start fingering or pounding the hell out of it - especially if this is her first time. just take it slow.
the hardest part is convincing her to actually do what she deep down knows she wants but can't admit to.
i've said my piece. mark my words - you'll have success if you follow my advice.
Sorry. No offense guy but I have a strict policy never to take sex advice from people who post comments on internet stories.
That's like asking a fish for some matches or a lighter.
well i guess no one else is going to say it. the very best way to enjoy chillis is just to take her there. weather she wants to go or not. dont take your time with the inches or what ever, just hold her down in front of the mirror and force feed her chillis. then when she starts crying and screaming "please no more chillis im begging you", you simply tell her something soothing and romantic like "shut up and eat this chillis like a slut" or "this is for wrecking my car last week bitch".
One of the first times I did it and liked it was after I had crashed my boyfriend's truck when I was 19. It made me feel less guilty, and he was beyond happy because he was kind of a pervert and he hadn't shut up about anal in weeks, and it totally made me like it! All in all, hitting that parked car changed my life for the better! And deep down I knew I needed to be punished for hitting a parked car. Come to think of it, I think that's what got me into spanking too.
Hi. I like you, maybe you can learn to like me. We can go on a date and you can hit all the parked cars you want. Did I mention that I like you? You sound smart, and loose, and cool too.
WHAT MOTIVE DOES AOL HAVE IN PRESENTING THIS TOPIC FOR DISCUSSION? HOW CAN YOU BAR ME FROM USING AOL FOR EXPRESSING MY VIEWS AND THEN FOIST THIS BULLSHIT ON THE VIEWING PUBLIC?
All you have to do is give him a nod of the head when he drives by Chilis, or it's as simple as just grabbing the stick and putting it in reverse if he's driving by. It's gone through his head. He'll be excited to go with you.
I enjoy anal sex. I don't want it all the time, but you gotta have variety. I'll even ask for it sometimes. One boyfriend didn't want to do it, but I talked him into it, and he was a changed man. He couldn't get enough. I, on the other hand, could.
That said, I'm not the biggest fan of Chili's. I'll go if someone else is paying.
1 - Why use lube? Just use her shit, moron, it's in her butthole, and you JUST ate at chili's.
2- People that type internet posts and misspell words should be shot. 'Whether' is not the same as 'weather', clownshoes.
3 - Ever heard of the 'bucking bronco? It is where you are getting her from behind (slot A), and you suddenly, efficiently, and accurately, remove said penis from said slot, ram it into the cornhole, and try to hold on for 8 seconds while she kicks and screams. if the penis remains in the cornhole for 8 seconds...you win!
I thought it was where you're "getting her from behind" and then you scream out the name of her sister or that hot girl at your work that she's jealous of.
(201 Comments)
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
January 16th, 2009 at 07:58 pm
i like to turn my chicks knot into an awesome blossom
January 16th, 2009 at 08:08 pm
This is fucking stupid.
Fuck you in hell forever.
January 16th, 2009 at 08:12 pm
You're stupid. Go fist yourself. Loser.
January 17th, 2009 at 01:40 pm
I've never gotten sore, I don't know what you're doing wrong. My sister worked at Chili's in high school, but I never did.I'm just slutty I guess.
October 4th, 2009 at 06:16 pm
really do she do slomy in corks
January 16th, 2009 at 08:52 pm
awww, someone's got a sore corn hole, you fucking worthless ass-reamed chili's employee.
January 16th, 2009 at 08:22 pm
Anal sex and eating at Chiliies has alot in common. The latter taste like shit!!!
January 16th, 2009 at 08:57 pm
Chili's gives benefits for two days of work a week.
January 16th, 2009 at 09:08 pm
if you have trouble getting your girl to buy into the whole idea, here's my trick. works every time.
go down on the bitch and tease the hell out of her until she's just gagging for it and then just put the tip of your finger or your tongue on her asshole. nothing aggressive - just a presence - just enough to let her know something is there. she'll LOVE it trust me and be so up for a little ass action. but don't think you can then start fingering or pounding the hell out of it - especially if this is her first time. just take it slow.
the hardest part is convincing her to actually do what she deep down knows she wants but can't admit to.
i've said my piece. mark my words - you'll have success if you follow my advice.
January 17th, 2009 at 02:32 am
Sorry. No offense guy but I have a strict policy never to take sex advice from people who post comments on internet stories.
That's like asking a fish for some matches or a lighter.
January 16th, 2009 at 10:17 pm
Chilli's is best when your drunk and shes not, that way you forget she was screaming stop the whole time and you enjoy it more!!!
January 16th, 2009 at 10:54 pm
What a rapist pig.
January 17th, 2009 at 01:46 pm
What are you, Mormon?
October 4th, 2009 at 06:25 pm
amber im dreaming of something anlsexyboby so go to chillys and thick about sex and man next to in bed
January 17th, 2009 at 05:56 am
not sure i want some chilli's after eating chilli's
January 17th, 2009 at 06:23 am
i hate it when a girl says she wants to go to chili's , then as soon as you get your head in the door she changes her mind.
January 19th, 2009 at 04:52 pm
LOFL!!
January 17th, 2009 at 07:27 am
then after eating chilli's my girlfriend has to take a dump.
January 17th, 2009 at 08:45 am
well i guess no one else is going to say it. the very best way to enjoy chillis is just to take her there. weather she wants to go or not. dont take your time with the inches or what ever, just hold her down in front of the mirror and force feed her chillis. then when she starts crying and screaming "please no more chillis im begging you", you simply tell her something soothing and romantic like "shut up and eat this chillis like a slut" or "this is for wrecking my car last week bitch".
January 17th, 2009 at 01:53 pm
One of the first times I did it and liked it was after I had crashed my boyfriend's truck when I was 19. It made me feel less guilty, and he was beyond happy because he was kind of a pervert and he hadn't shut up about anal in weeks, and it totally made me like it! All in all, hitting that parked car changed my life for the better! And deep down I knew I needed to be punished for hitting a parked car. Come to think of it, I think that's what got me into spanking too.
January 21st, 2009 at 08:33 pm
Hi. I like you, maybe you can learn to like me. We can go on a date and you can hit all the parked cars you want. Did I mention that I like you? You sound smart, and loose, and cool too.
January 26th, 2009 at 03:16 am
I bet your assholes so loose shit just falls out and you have shit stains on your undies cause poo just cant help but fall out when your standing
What a weirdo lol you like the feeling of continuously pooing
February 4th, 2009 at 02:41 am
It's worth it.
February 4th, 2009 at 02:40 am
So like did hitting parked cars become, you know, a habit?
January 17th, 2009 at 10:12 am
MAN, IVE NEVER EATEN AT CHILES AND I DONT KNOW IF I SHOULD NOW, BUT IM DEFINATELY GONNA GO BANG MY G/F AFTER I DO
January 18th, 2009 at 10:09 am
***** | Dank | Results
"Life is Results...or Bullshit
January 19th, 2009 at 04:52 pm
yo, dufus; do you have idea of the concept of the article?
January 17th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
I work there id laugh if i saw that or if she was hot id ask to join but ill take the good stuff lol
January 17th, 2009 at 12:38 pm
WHAT MOTIVE DOES AOL HAVE IN PRESENTING THIS TOPIC FOR DISCUSSION? HOW CAN YOU BAR ME FROM USING AOL FOR EXPRESSING MY VIEWS AND THEN FOIST THIS BULLSHIT ON THE VIEWING PUBLIC?
January 17th, 2009 at 03:29 pm
I think you were barred after asking everyone how is babby formed.
January 17th, 2009 at 05:45 pm
I absolutely agree. This is just cheesy soft-core porn. So why did we read it?
January 17th, 2009 at 08:42 pm
I've only been to chilis after either drinking and/or by myself. I don't know how to tell him that I do occasionally like going to chilis.
March 17th, 2009 at 07:08 am
All you have to do is give him a nod of the head when he drives by Chilis, or it's as simple as just grabbing the stick and putting it in reverse if he's driving by. It's gone through his head. He'll be excited to go with you.
January 17th, 2009 at 08:58 pm
Does the anal sex happen after Chilis or before?
February 4th, 2009 at 02:37 am
During.
January 18th, 2009 at 06:39 am
i let my g/f take me to chili's every now and then.
January 18th, 2009 at 09:26 am
gay gay gay gay gay. and gay.
October 4th, 2009 at 06:55 pm
i dint know you gay from chils
January 18th, 2009 at 11:00 am
Can anyone doubt that a lot of you out there really need some serious therapy? And Amber, I think I love you.
October 4th, 2009 at 06:35 pm
aber is my baby what hell do want from my freening gil at chilys smartass
January 18th, 2009 at 11:32 am
I enjoy anal sex. I don't want it all the time, but you gotta have variety. I'll even ask for it sometimes. One boyfriend didn't want to do it, but I talked him into it, and he was a changed man. He couldn't get enough. I, on the other hand, could.
That said, I'm not the biggest fan of Chili's. I'll go if someone else is paying.
January 18th, 2009 at 01:39 pm
why do straight guys like anaL? I an understand with gay guys cuz that's the only hole to use. please xplain you horny queerdos.
February 4th, 2009 at 02:35 am
Because you're obviously around 15 years old and haven't been around.
March 17th, 2009 at 10:46 am
1. It's warm
2. It's tight
3. It's degrading to women
Simple. That is why straight guys love it!
October 4th, 2009 at 07:05 pm
oh ya that way you joy the fun of feamale suk my hotdog im going
to hodog joynt to have more chilys or tcobell for some bretto snack on
January 18th, 2009 at 06:44 pm
Why is this crap on aol?
January 18th, 2009 at 08:02 pm
yes this is crap....
January 18th, 2009 at 07:34 pm
You forgot the woman who used to eat at Chili's with her ex-boyfriend but refuses to eat there now that she's with you.
January 20th, 2009 at 01:40 am
3 things:
1 - Why use lube? Just use her shit, moron, it's in her butthole, and you JUST ate at chili's.
2- People that type internet posts and misspell words should be shot. 'Whether' is not the same as 'weather', clownshoes.
3 - Ever heard of the 'bucking bronco? It is where you are getting her from behind (slot A), and you suddenly, efficiently, and accurately, remove said penis from said slot, ram it into the cornhole, and try to hold on for 8 seconds while she kicks and screams. if the penis remains in the cornhole for 8 seconds...you win!
January 20th, 2009 at 08:47 am
I thought it was where you're "getting her from behind" and then you scream out the name of her sister or that hot girl at your work that she's jealous of.
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