I love when people are like “Oh my God, you HAVE to see this picture of my baby,” and then they show me the picture and it’s just their baby, lying there. This is not okay. If a friend came up to you and was like “Oh my God, you HAVE to see this picture of my husband Bob,” and it’s just a picture of Bob lying on his back, you’d be like “What the f*&k am I looking at here? Why did I have to see this?” So when people go apeshit over Angelina and Brad’s baby pictures, I don’t get it. People.com reports:
They are just 3 weeks old, but twins Knox Léon and Vivienne Marcheline are about to take the world by storm.
“It is chaos, but we are managing it and having a wonderful time,” Jolie tells PEOPLE
I was really hoping when she said “it is chaos,” that the next sentence was going to be “one of them keeps shitting on my coffee table. We don’t even know how he gets on there. We think they figured out how to ride the dog or something. I wish every morning I could shove them back into my vagina.”
People magazine paid something around 12 million dollars for these photos reportedly. Meaning they either think they’re going to sell that many more magazines, or that if they didn’t get these photos, this was the cover they were going to have to run:
Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault
Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge
You don’t know what makes Carrot Top tick?
Steroids and apparently Maybelline (or maybe he’s born with it).
Goddamn Carrot Top scares the living fuck out of me.