Angelina Jolie Buys Penis Gum For Her Kid

I’ve been around enough kids to know that the only way to get them to shut up is to buy them shit. So I applaud Angelina Jolie for this:

After treating her son Maddox to a screening of The Spiderwick Chronicles at Hollywood’s ArcLight theater, they hit the gift shop.

Six-year-old Maddox picked out a pack of gum labeled “I [Heart] My Penis.”

“[Angelina] laughed and bought it,” a witness told Us.

So the kid [heart]‘s his penis. What kid doesn’t? I [heart] my penis and it doesn’t even deserve it. I would be concerned if he wanted to buy the gum that said “I don’t [Heart] My Penis.” That would be a symbolic move by Maddox inferring that he was potentially confused about his sexuality and needed therapy. Or maybe just that he got soap in his pee pee and it hurt. Either way, trouble. Anyway, for those of you who think it’s irresponsible for Angelina to buy a six year old something like that, I must tell you, it could have been worse. Today I purchased this gum: