Explore Holy Taco

Anthony Weiner: Mega Troll

Mark your calendar.  Today is the day I’m calling the mayoral campaign of Anthony Weiner complete and utter bullshit.  It was never real.  It’s an exercise in slapstick comedy.  How much can Weiner do without anyone calling him out on it.  He had a good run but he flew too close to the unbelievability sun and now it’s obvious that his whole campaign was a routine meant to make us all laugh.

In order to save time because no one on the internet likes to read, allow me to point form the myriad punch lines Weiner has thrown our way.

  • His name is Anthony Weiner
  • He first gained notoriety for sending pictures of his weiner to people
  • After deciding to run for mayor, it came out that he still sends pictures of his weiner to people
  • He sends weiner pics using the name Carlos Danger
  • He spent $45,000 in campaign funds to investigate the messages and pictures he sent after pretending his account had been hacked, even though it hadn’t been hacked.  What?
  • His campaign manager quit because he found it impossible to keep Weiner’s weiner under wraps
  • When asked directly if he’s still sending weiner pics, Weiner evasively skirts the question

This was not the end of things for Weiner, oh no.  No, Weiner’s most bold joke just dropped today, after a former campaign aide wrote a tell-all for the New York Daily News.  After the critical article was published, the following quotes were uttered, as near as I can figure in a genuine and real way, by Weiner’s Communications Director.  His COMMUNICATIONS DIRECTOR.  This is the person for whom communicating is her means of making a living.  These are quotes from her regarding the intern and what she said in her interview.

  • Fucking slutbag
  • I’m dealing with like stupid fucking interns who make it on to the cover of the Daily News
  • Nice fucking glamour shot on the cover of the Daily News
  • It’s all bullshit
  • I mean, it’s such bullshit. She could fucking — fucking twat
  • I can tell you she … like accosted me at like our petitioning thing to be able to become my intern, begged me to be my intern, sent me something within like 20 minutes of meeting her and then proceeded to — she came in the next day and was like, basically, ‘I want to be your bitch all summer long, that’s all I want to do is be your righthand person.’
  • She sucked. She like wasn’t good at setting up events
  • Like it was, like, terrible and I had to like – she would like, she would just not show up for work
  • You know what? Fuck you, you little cunt. I’m not joking, I am going to sue her

If you read all the quotes, she needlessly uses the word “like” 14 separate times.  And she’s the communications director.  Oh, and also all the meandering obscenities.   From the communications director.

At this point it must be clear to everyone this entire campaign is an intense sort of flash mob style joke, like a weird reality TV show none of us were aware we were a part of.  But it has to be because, like, look at that shit.  LOOK AT IT!

0 Responses to "Anthony Weiner: Mega Troll"