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Arizona Immigration Bill Memo

Since I’m from Arizona, I get insider access to all of the state’s hot legislative gossip. That’s how I got my hands on this memo to Arizona law enforcement agencies regarding the recent passing of the Arizona Immigration Bill that’s got everyone all hot and bothered:
 
 

53 Responses to "Arizona Immigration Bill Memo"

  1. lets step back and redirect our anger says:

    Why is it that all white people are labled racist when something as ignorant as this law is passed? I’m a white person born and raised in southern az, a majority of the people I love and care about are of hispanic decent. I was raised to judge a person by who they are not ‘what’ they are. Our past does not have to be a predictor of our future. Our government is what is so messed up. Unfortunatley racists are everywhere, but they come in all colors. If you’re angry point your anger in the right direction…our government. Need I remind you of all the other issues the government officials in the state of az have allowed to progress. We are steadily losing our teachers, they took away kidscare an insurance entity that served as a middle ground for those who are unable to afford private insurance for their children yet make too much to qualify for state funded insurance, we have had workers cut from child protective services, cuts made to the workers who monitor and regulate the activity of sexual predators, the welfare system itself has taken a cut, lets also remember they passed a law that no longer requires a permit or background check to carry a concealed weapon….yet the city of tuson in particular has funded millions in ‘improvements’ on the roadways and the salary of these officials hasn’t been touched. Gov. Brewer and her supporters are draining what little we the people of az have left. So again I ask if we’re gonna be angry lets direct it at the appropriate party…

  2. Fuck La Raza says:

    YOUR RIGHT SQUANTO. IT WAS GREAT. THE AMERICAN INDIAN CAME UP WITH SO MUCH GREAT STUFF THAT WE USE TODAY. LIKE THE TEE PEE, RAIN DANCING, AND ALCOHOLISM. FUCK YOU.

  3. louis says:

    cool story bro

  4. justin says:
    First off, this is a comedic piece that I put together in about 20 minutes, so please don’t think that I’ve invested a lot of my core values into it. 
     
    Secondly, illegal immigration is already illegal and heavily enforced in Arizona. This law does NOT the authorities permission to detain/deport illegal immigrants. They were already allowed to do that. This law will allow them to question the citizenship of anyone for any reason whatsoever. The only reason you would randomly question someone’s citizenship is based on their appearance/ethnicity. Therefore, this law would be condoning racial profiling.
     
    Do you really think that, if they find an illegal immigrant running through a ranch 2 miles north of the mexican border, this law is going to help them in any way? Do you think they’re going to be like "oh, thank god that law passed! Now we can FINALLY ask this clearly illegal immigrant for his paperwork!" No. This law is to harass the Mexican guy who gets pulled over and doesn’t have his license. Now, instead of being cited for driving without a license, he can be arrested, imprisoned, and threatened with deportation.
     
    People are getting killed near the border because there’s a massive drug/civil war immediately on the other side of it, not because of the illegal immigrants that have been crossing that border for 100 years.
     
  5. John says:

    to holy taco: you fucks have no fuckin clue what youre talkin about there have been far too many deaths on the border and your mad that someone is actually doing something about it. why dont you tell your fuckin joke to the arizona ranchers family who was killed by an illegal immigrant? stick to the funny shit and stay the fuck out of policy you couldnt even begin to comprehend and shove the whole fuckin world up your fuckin retarded asses go fuck yourselves!

  6. CommonSense says:

    So Arizona is going to start enforcing the law against those that are in the country illegally? Sounds racist to me ….

  7. viktor says:

    What about Asian’s who come here illegally? or Arabs, Russian’s and the typical European whose Visa is expired but chose to stay in the country illegally? You can have a Dane, Russian, Chinese, and Arab well dressed and still be illegal, but is a cop going to suspect their illegally because they speak the language fluently? And if they want to protect the border from “terrorist” shouldn’t they also have more security in Canada, the Pacific and Atlantic coast where there’s little or no protection? The best country in the world will be isolated because of their Xenophobic citizens. The demographic face in the US is changing and white-Christians are afraid of that, just like they fear blacks half a century ago.

  8. 00kla the M0k says:

    Racial profiling is not racism. Its profiling. I know it doesn’t seem fair but it is what authorities must do to try to stem the insane tide of crime. Arabs are fine people but anyone who doesn’t think that keeping a closer eye on people of that race in airports nowadays is being intellectually dishonest. As a parent, you would steer your child away from individuals you think look like a picture of a sex offender you saw recently. Thats profiling. You know that security at the Vatican watches people that look Irish very closely. To not do so would be foolishness. In fact, if there was rampant violent trouble with the Irish at the Vatican, they would start questioning every Irish looking mo-fo that set foot there.
    Racial identity has become some panic button that people think somehow immunizes them from legal scrutiny.
    The key to it all is to give everyone you meet a fair shake regardless of what you have experienced from similar looking people. That doesn’t mean not being careful though. Stereotyping is a survival trait. Stereotyping is what keeps you from walking into that dark allyway with the frowning biker in it. Don’t let it make you a hater though. Let it make you careful in life; careful but caring.
    And if they are an asshole, fuck ‘em.

  9. Cat man due says:

    But if we deport them who will make all my burritos? I live in Tucson and somewhat support this law. In theory it would come in handy but we all know there are plenty of douche border patrol that will abuse the shit out of this. Also it is almost impossible to be racist here. As a white girl I’m the minority, if I had a problem with Mexicans I would have moved by now.

  10. Iranian American in SoCal says:

    Why is it that we Iranians when we migrate to other countries, our women do not learn the language of the host nation that received us with open arms?

  11. Racist Fuck says:

    Because of your arcaic culture!!!!!!!! Man, look at it like this. Your women are treated like animals and are not allowed to go anywhere without their MAN, thus they’re completely segregated from learning a new language because they have no need for it, they can’t go shopping, they can’t go work, they can’t go to school, but when they do get out of the house to collect their food stamps at the welfare office, we are supposed to take their word for their identity, because we can’t see their face under their gowns otherwise their husbands put a FATWAH on us for having violated their slave-woman by looking under their burka thingy.

    Also, your hermetic culture doesn’t relate well with other cultures, however everyone else is supposed to accept you Iranian fucks just the way you are.

    Example:

    If an American woman goes to Iran, she has to dress appropiately to your Iraian culture otherwise she’ll be thrown in jail.

    If a Iranian woman goes to America, she don’t have to change the way she dresses because we accept you just the way you are.

    And yet Americans are the infidels.

  12. Fuck La Raza says:

    Yeah I respect all cultures. But this America douche bag. This country was great before you got here. You obviously came for that reason. Quit trying to drag Americans down and bitch about not getting a handout.Go back to Mexico if its so great, thats where your “culture” is. Go practice it there and fuck off. FUCK LA RAZA!

  13. Squanto says:

    Fuck La Raza,

    BTW, this country was great before YOU got here too.

    Sincerely,

    Every Indian who has ever lived.

  14. Chaanakya says:

    American Indian or Indian Indian?

  15. Kennewick Man says:

    Can I have some of your money?

  16. Salad Tosser says:

    I enjoy the licking of buttholes.

  17. hartsf says:

    I want US Immigration Law enforced. Period.

    If this upsets a group of people who are not in this country legally, too damned bad.

    I can assure you that mexico and every other country on earth has and enforces an immigration process–why are people upset because the State of Arizona IS FINALLY going to enforce the law?

    I’m sick and tired of illegals getting more consideration and sympathy than US citizens. If they want US Citizenship, there is a prescribed process to obtain that, but, for whatever reason, they (and mexico) seem to think that US law does not have jurisdiction when it comes to crossing the border. Why is that?

    It’s about time–and, I’m glad Arizona IS doing something to reinforce the rule of law.

  18. Dave the Insomniac says:

    I don’t understand what the big deal is… I get it; everyone get’s all panicked when the word “race” is mentioned, and I can appreciate that. After all, most countries do not have a stellar history of dealing with foreigners. But–and here’s where I get confused–how did this become an issue of race? I don’t care if you’re Hispanic, White, Black, or Purple… I only care if you’re LEGAL! Being an ILLEGAL immigrant is ILLEGAL!! How do so many people seem to be missing this?!? They rant and rave and say “Oh, you’re heartless; they’re just here for a better opportunity.” That’s fine, I get that too. But what’s the point of a government? To protect the rights and liberties of its citizens, right? And what country are we? The US of A, right? RIGHT?? So, why do these bleeding hearts think that the government’s job is to protect the citizens of ANOTHER nation? I want profiling, but not racial profiling… LEGAL profiling. If you’re illegal, you’re out; end of story, unless you’re on the lam from a drug cartel or something. But it’s a slap in the face of all TRUE immigrants, the ones who were willing to put in the effort and make the sacrifices to earn citizenship, to say that someone who hopped a river one night gets the same benefits of citizenship without paying a dime for it (and it’s a slap in the face of any jobless citizen when the government refuses to protect his or her rights while allowing someone NOT of citizenry to take a job here, take the money, and send it right mack out of the country).
    Does that make sense to anyone, or am I the only sane person left in America (which would, by definition of the book “I Am Legend,” make ME the crazy one, I guess…)?

  19. White guy dating hispanic girl says:

    I like your post. It’s true.

  20. Iranian American in SoCal says:

    To YOUR MOTHER: Very eloquently put; nothing drives a point home like generous placements of the word “fuck.” Your vague and hypothetical statements don’t help either, relative to the specific examples I provided. Your comment seems to conclude that the socio-economic costs of illegal immigration are justified because various peoples (apparently red-necks are immigrants too?) manufacture clothing in their respective countries. Major non-sequiter there; make sure you’ve your cause-effect relationships established before you type next time. That’s right; the very label you asked me to examine indicates the “shit” in question was manufactured in a country outside the US. As Poster indicated above, such countries have strict policies in dealing with illegal immigrants.

    If being a law-abiding citizen who gladly pays taxes makes me a racist asshole, then so is every US citizen and legal resident. You’re surrounded by racist assholes; sorry :(

  21. YOUR MOTHER says:

    Dude… the next time you wear your FUCKING SHIT…
    remember… a fucking latin, asian or redneck made it in a FUCKING US company…

    RACIST ASSHOLE!

  22. Iranian American in SoCal says:

    Amongst the southwestern states that border with Mexico, Arizona is by far the least unprotected making it the prime entry point. Of course the police have to profile Hispanics; how often is it that a non-Hispanic comes from south of the border? It’s funny how the pro-illegal immigrant types like the writer like to spin immigration policy as racist or anti-immigrant. Despite the Iranian Revolution, my family waited patiently, filled out the necessary forms, paid the required fees, and complied with all aspects of US immigration law. What a slap in the face it would be to them and all other non-illegals to grant amnesty to lawbreakers! What’s worse, is they use our social services, steal our identities, and send cash back to Mexico; creating nothing but a net negative on American society (let’s not forget the fact that they’ve no incentive to comply with the law since they’re prepetually breaking the law since they crawled here). How lovely that the corrupt and shameless government of Mexico receives the pure positive of US-cash infused into their country, yet their drug-dealers bomb the US Embassy, kidnap and kill embassy workers, and the police demand ransoms from American travelers. The real terrorists are south of the border folks, not across the ocean.

  23. Iran Sucks, Persian Women Have Hairy Pits says:

    Could this Persian be more cacophonic?

    Seriously, there’s a reason why they’re killing eachother. They’re a fucking pest!

  24. For the idiot above me…The only pest on this planet is ignorant people like you. And you’re the reason why people like me (US born and educated) wince.

  25. PuckJew says:

    And that is exactly why I use so many exclamation points, they represent the number of cocks I can fit up my ass!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  26. PuckJew says:

    Only homos use that many exclamation points. Fucking retarded orphan.

  27. PuckJew says:

    Unless those teabaggers are standing right over my face shoving their cocks in my mouth. If that’s the case then tea bag away!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  28. PuckJew says:

    You read The Dirty? That makes you a douche turd and a faggot. Fucking asshole. Fuck all Teabaggers.

  29. AZNative says:

    The editors of this site are fucking stupid. Not only are they uneducated and have the grammar and spelling capabilities of a high school drop out, I now find out they are hippie liberal fucking douches. Way to go guys I hope you are happy with the way your life turned out, living in your mothers’ basements, trying to keep up a stupid ass website that gets no respect from anyone. Hell, The Dirty has more street cred than you losers. Why don’t you go microwave yourselves some more hot pockets and watch each other jack off to the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show I know you have recorded.

  30. AZNative has lost all capacity to use any logic from being baked out of his gourd, both by pot and the relentless sun. He’s just trying to justify his racist stance while hiding in his mom’s basement jerking off to Guns & Ammo.

  31. justin says:
    Tucson is about 130 miles or so from the US/Mexico border, and it’s easily the least racist city in the state of Arizona. The people pushing for increased border control live directly on the US/Mexico border and in Phoenix, which is about 300 miles from the border.
  32. Ed says:

    Bk is right. Maybe we should just open up all of the borders. Fuck those racists. Who needs any border security, or even airport security. How about we get rid of the military too. Fuck those racists who want to follow the law. Those racist “basters” (Bk, before you call somebody dumb, learn to spell check first)

  33. bk_lucky13 says:

    I blame all that dumb SHIT on Tucson!! AZ would be 100% better without all those dumb racist baster that pushing for border control

  34. Ed says:

    ^ “course”

  35. Ed says:

    Hey Tato…

    How about Universities just for blacks, cable networks just for blacks, congressional caucuses just for blacks, a whole month devoted to the history of blacks, college funds just for blacks, a Governor’s group just for blacks, a police chief group just for blacks, and of cours Affirmative Action.It goes on and on. Before you go rambling on against “whitey” look at the whole picture.

  36. DonkeyXote's lesbian father says:

    mexicans arent the only latins dude

    Im white with native american heritage, and I respect all that people that crosses the border and risk their lives to have better life quality, I mean europeans did that long ago too..

    Perhaps a bench for you would be better in germany at the side of several skinheads that share the same ideas and closed minds

  37. Mr. 88 says:

    You sure made a good point, I would like to have a bench for whites only! Of course your free… feel free to crawl back to that shit hole and let us make our policies!!!

    Oh by the way, what would a mexican learn in university? How to be lazier 101, eating tacos on the run, sleeping on the job…

  38. TATO says:

    Dude… this is fucking racist.
    This looks what AMERICA DID TO AFROAMERICAN PEOPLE IN ALL THE FUCKING HISTORY UNTIL THE 70′s!

    Whats next… universities just for latins? benches just for “whites”? lynch us the latins just because we are latins?

    Fucking racist state… assholes…

    WE ARE ALL FREE, ALL THE SAME, EVERYBODY!
    COLORS AND “KINDS” SHOULD NOT EXISTS IN THE “LAND OF THE FREE”

  39. Tacosrule says:

    Just remember.

    No illegals, no tacos.

    And tacos rule.

  40. Ed says:

    Yet somehow this Country is “racist”. Is it racism if you just want everybody to follow the law?

    I don’t want to be treated special, I just want to be treated like an illegal alien (freebies galore).

  41. Kris says:

    You tell ‘em brother.

  42. poster says:

    if you cross the north korean border illegally you get 12 years hard labor.

    If you cross the iranian border illegally you are detained indefinitely.

    If you cross the afghan border illegally, you get shot.

    If you cross the saudi arabian border illegally you will be jailed.

    If you cross the chinese border illegally you may never be heard from again..

    If you cross the venezuelan border illegally you will be branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

    If you cross the cuban border illegally you will be thrown into political prison to rot.

    If you cross the u.s. Border illegally you get
    ,¢ a job ,
    ,¢ a drivers license,
    ,¢ social security card ,
    ,¢ welfare,
    ,¢ food stamps,
    ,¢ credit cards,
    ,¢ subsidized rent
    ,¢ free education,
    ,¢ free health care ,
    ,¢ a lobbyist in washington
    ,¢ billions of dollars worth of public documents printed in your language
    ,¢ the right to carry your country’s flag while you protest that you don’t get enough respect

  43. Dwight K. Schrute says:

    Fail!

    The Arizona law states that if anyone sees an officer not ask for proof of legality, then they can file a lawsuit against the jurisdiction said officer falls under. So there isn’t going to be racial profiling, EVERYBODY will be asked to provide proof of citizenship, or some form of documentation prooving they are in the country legally when they are stopped by the police.

  44. Anonymous says:

    Uh, ok AZNative. Because THAT rant made sense.

  45. pratik says:

    Stop impersonating me Donk!

  46. soupkitchen says:

    True intelligence on your part, you realize it’s the same way in basically EVERY country on this planet right?

  47. pratik says:

    Why are Americans so fucken racist, when my family and I migrated from India in the 80′s I remember I had such a hard time at school and my neighborhood with everyone because of my skin color, the way smelled and the way I dressed. I think it is culturally unethical for you caucasians to mock other cultures without getting to know them first and I would like to take this oportunity to maybe make you all realize that being different isn’t a big deal.

  48. Olala says:

    So is your name pronounced “PRAH-teek”?

  49. 00kla the M0k says:

    The problem was that you smelled bad, dude.
    Love your country’s cuisine and every Indian person I’ve ever had contact with has been very sharp … until now. You are an idiot.

  50. DonkeyXote says:

    Only if you stop being retarded pratik.

  51. Lets Make Butt Babies says:

    Pratik: Are you a chick? Because Indian girls always have the best mocha brown titties.

    Let me motorboat in your curry bust

  52. Token White Guy says:

    Being first on the internet is like winning the Special Olympics. In the end, you’re still retarded.

  53. Lets Make Butt Babies says:

    except i think retards are happier. (but watch out — that doesnt mean they aren’t horny).