Jessica Simpson‘s vagina is going to be soooooo jealous. Usmagazine.com reports:
Ashlee Simpson is pregnant, a source confirmed to Usmagazine.com.
The singer, 23, is expecting her first child with fiancÃƒÆ’Ã‚Â© Pete Wentz, 28.
There is no WAY evolution would be cool with these two procreating. No way. I’ve played Oregon Trail enough to know that without modern medicine and technology, evolution takes care of these two by either way of dysentery or being eaten by a bear. And trust me, we don’t want to start pissing off evolution. It might do something crazy like combine a grizzly bear with a monkey and then we’ll all be f-ed. I ain’t being no grizmonkely bear’s bitch. What the f*&k am I talking about?
Anyway, I kind of think these two look alike anyway. I was going to do some elaborate photoshop where I combined their features to show what their baby might look like, but when I did the first step of putting Wentz’s head on Simpson’s body, I went to lunch. And when I came back I swear to you I thought I hadn’t yet put his head on her body. It wasn’t after closer inspection that I realized I had. Take a look.