Ashlee Simpson Pregnant. With Baby.

I recently read Darwin’s “Origin Of Species” where he details natural selection and how only the strongest of the species will survive.  I’m pretty sure if he knew that not only did Pete Wentz impregnate a woman, but most likely that child will prosper as a wealthy individual and spawn children of its own, he’d grab his book and tear it the f*&k up.  People.com reports:

“While many have speculated about this, we wanted to wait until after the first trimester to officially confirm that we are expecting our first child,” they wrote on Wentz’s site.

I wonder if when they told Joe Simpson, the conversation went like this:

ASHLEE AND PETE: We’re having a baby!

JOE SIMPSON: Ka-ching!

ASHLEE: What did you say?

JOE SIMPSON: I said I’m so happy for you.

PETE: Really, because it sounded like you said “ka-ching” which is a sound people make when they’ve come in to a large sum of money.

JOE SIMPSON: Ha ha, no no.  I said “Cut Ching,” because I’m uh, my wife and I are dealing with our Asian neighbor Ching, and uh, I want her to…cut him.

(awkward silence)

JOE SIMPSON: Screw it.  I said Ka-ching.  I’m going to make millions of dollars off your baby.  Give it to me as soon as it comes out of your vagina.

I imagine we’ll be seeing a Christmas card like this in the near future