Here at Holy Taco, we understand that sometimes life poses a question thats incredibly difficult to answer.
During those times, you may need someone to help you answer those tough questions. We’re not those people. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try and answer any questions you might have, about anything at all. So, we’d like to introduce our very first “ask holy taco.” Just submit a question in the comment section, about anything you want, and we’ll answer 5-10 of them depending on how lazy we are. If we choose your question, you’ll get a brand new car! Or T-shirt. Which ever we have more of in stock at the time. Ask away, and be sure to leave your e-mail address so we can mail you the car or shirt!
Why is Holy Taco so amazing?
Dear Holy Taco,
Somedays when my wife is at work, I jack-off so much that I cycle trought pretty much every color broad their is. black, white, asian, milf, and fatties.
Love
DDJ
PS – would you guys rather get a bj from a tranny but you didnt know at the time or accidently have sex with your long lost sister?
So…why is that people say they’re taking a Dump , instead of leaving a dump.. I mean… they’re not really taking it anywhere?
How did the term “Holy Taco” come about? What does it mean and why is it the name of this website??
How crazy was the person that first decided to eat an egg? Honestly, did he/she watch a chicken dump an ovoid object from its ass and think, “I wonder what that tastes like?”
Why does my finger slide so easily in my ass in the shower, yet it won’t go in an inch of the shower?
What if underwear had tongues?
What exactly is Kim Kardashian’s ass made of??
Do you realize what you’ve done here?
I like Turtles…..
Is there a God?
How old do you have to be before having sex/jacking it is ok?
If I take a really gnarly dump, is it wrong to not flush it and show it off first? My wife gets pissed when I tell her to have a look before I flush. She also gets pretty mad if I don’t use air freshener but I kind of like the way it smells.
Does getting a blowjob from a guy make you gay? What about 18 blowjobs from 13 different guys?
Last night my wife wouldn’t have sex with me, claiming a bogus headache. Like any caring man, I told her it was OK and that I understood entirely. Then I waited for her to fall asleep before masturbating into her shampoo bottle.
All day today her hair has been a giant mess of tangles. It’s quite disgusting to look at. Do I need medical attention for some spunk-borne illness that causes hair tangles?
Is being one of the guys in a double penetration mean that I am gay? One of my friends says “Hell yes” while another one says “Stop slapping your balls against mine”.
What do you think?
Why do people try so hard just for a holytaco T-shirt?
If I take a dump in the morning, and a condom falls out, how can I tell which of my two dads raped me the night before?
Why is it Asian women are always with white men, and not the other way around? Are Asian guys such douches, or just too short?
What’s that cheesy smell on my fingers after I scratch my balls?
I know stalking laws vary from state to state, but generally speaking, if I confine my activities to daylight hours, is that still considered stalking?
Let’s say your Grandpa, named Jack, got stuck on the roof. Would you do Madonna or slap Samberg?
Why holy taco? Why a taco? and why is it holy? why not unholy? and why not a churro? I know thats more than one question but………..fuck u.
where can i get dinosaur pornography?
What are the perfect co-workers?
Does Holy Taco smoke that real sticky icky ganja?
How do blind people know when to stop wiping?
Do ninjas talk?
Taco Bell is giving out free tacos to everyone next Tuesday because someone stole a base in the world series. How come I can get free Holy Taco every day but I can only get free Unholy Diarrhea Taco next tuesday?
Also; how come the secret service showed up at my house when I did a google image search for “Sarah Palin Holy Taco”?
why are they called hemroids wouldnt is be smarter if THEY were called asteroids?
do you know where my remote control is?
What’s a Cleveland Steamer?
Do I know what rhetorical means?
Does the guy or girl take birth control?
Do your parents know that you’re gay?
If I were to construct a “Douchebag Heirarchy,” what would the rungs look like? I would level the following as such: Frat Guys, John Mayer, Guidos, Spencer Pratt, Dane Cook. I’m sure there are a lot more I forgot.
Dear HT,
I already won a tee shirt; does this mean I’ll never be eligible to win anything else from you guys? And if I can, and the prize is a tee shirt, and I win it, can I trade it for something else? Because I don’t need two tee shirts.
Thanks.
I know that I’m limiting my future chances of receiving a T-Shirt, despite the fact that a future comment may be absolutely worthy of one!
Anyhow, my question is:
Why do the writers/bloggers at ‘Holy Taco’ seem to drop the ball when it comes to proper punctuation and use of the English language? Aren’t they writers, after all? It’s (note the apostrophe) pretty sad. English, and its (note: no apostrophe) usage, should be of importance to those who write for a living (or even as a hobby). Having said that, good commentary is a different matter, and that is why I tune in often – y’all are very fucking funny, y’here? And yes, that spelling was intentional.
Thanks for the laughs.
Is Richard Dawkins God?
p.s. I realize that I’m not really that cleaver, but I do like to molest my neighbor’s dog.
if there was a taco, not an ordinary taco but a ‘holy taco’ and jesus came to you in a dream and said ‘though shalt eat the holy taco’, would you eat the taco with hot sauce or salsa?
A certain nuclear reactor is fueld with 2,000 kg of uranium rods enriched to 25.0 weight percent 235U. The remainder is 238U. The density of the Uranium is 19.1 g/cm^3.
How much 235U is in the reactor?
If a tree falls in the woods and nobody sees it, is Zac Efron still a douchebag?
HT…you must answer Flip Washington’s question.
…..that was hilarious. I must know the answer…do they smell the TP…based on strength of odor?
How did you get Ben Bernanke to pose for your Ask Holy Taco picture? Isn’t he busy?
Will I ever receive the HolyTaco t-shirt I won in the Give-A-Wednesday contest three weeks ago?
Crazy Train, as a winner of one of those shirts in the past, they’re pretty sweet shirts. The ladies will want to lick your balls all kinds of ways. And a million people will as you, what is a Holy Taco?
Well, What is it?
I work as an intern as a marketing assistant. I write press releases, add marketing content and i am never late. i’m postive i can make dick jokes because i have one of average length. Can I have a job?
this is not an entry…but if you do select it, i don’t want your shirt…i want a job.
-DDJ
If I called you an asshole, would you be mad? You’re an asshole.
Why did I just see an add for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints beside your Miley Cyrus Jailbait article?
Gerbils are cool running around in their cages but as sexual objects?
How exactly does one coax a gerbil into ones ass? Is there a certain breed that instinctually climbs into peoples assholes? Are there gerbil charmers who use music to mesmerize them into anuses? Is there a colonic machine that uses gerbils instead of water and if so how much does it cost? I saw fake plastic gerbils online that people use for this purpose but does it feel the same? Is it easier head first or backwards?
This has always boggled my mind and just leaves me with a big WTF?
Is the HR manager wearing a wig? Her hair is always perfect.
Hello? Justin? It’s Mom, are you there? Hello? Ok, do I have to shut off the Interweb before I shut off the computer so we don’t waste Interweb minutes? Ok honey call me back. Love, Mom.
I took a dump and put the turd in a asshole co-workers desk drawer. Expecting an awesome tirade today when I came to work I sat at my desk waiting for…bob…. to come in. About 1030 I asked someone where is that punctual assfucker who’s never late and never miss a day that always makes me look like such a shitty employee, and was told that he was in a bad car accident last night and wont be back for about a week.
Now the question is: What do I do about that brown baby boy I left in his drawer? I really really was looking forward to the shocked disgust that was going to erupt all over his old wrinkly pissy face… but is it still cool to poop-prank someone coming back from the hospital? and it was a nasty filthy pile of shit (im talking a volcanic eruption of chunky rainbow colored fesis that had the toilet water boiling) I stuck in there, isn’t it going to super funk up the office all next week??
Any advice before….bob…. gets back would be appreciated.
Why is my father in that photo up there raising his hand?
How far away is Philidelphia from New York?
What would Uncle Jesse do?
When will you announce the questions to be answered and thus the winners of the holytaco T-shirts?
How do penguins do it?
Oral Sex ? Is that when you talk dirty to each other?
1. Hypothetical speaking, does does anal feel any different for a man than a woman?
Ps. for the record, im as straight as Sarah Palin but how come my girlfriend accepts it whilst I punched her in the face for being close to touching my bumhole?
2. Why and will anyone think Im straight asking this question?
– no.
What relationship situations warrant the infamous “Boston Pancake”?
Why do so many of these questions concern dumps, taking a dump, the smell, taste, feel of said dump, or the experience of that dump when shared with others?
I happen to believe that oral and anal is not the same as having sex. You dont lose your virginity, and dont get knocked up having anal or oral so how come its still such a big deal to get a kiss good night but not a little oral on the first date:)
Im a female who would really appriciate men stop playing games and start taking care of business.
What can i do to have sex with hot girl on this web site? cuz i’ll do it, holy taco can even viedo tape it.