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Autistic Erotica: Love By The Numbers

Romance novels are great and all, but they often limit their characters to a narrow demographic. Usually the heros are buff, long-haired ranch-hands or buff, long-haired vampires. While the heroines are usually beautiful bodice-wearing underaged brides or beautiful bodice-wearing underage brides with amnesia. But what about those with autism? Don’t they deserve a 300-page novel about the trials and tribulations of love that they can relate to (if they could relate)? Well, friends of the Taco Julieanne Smolinski of LemonDrop.com and some intern named Ben came up with this little piece of prose about a man with severely impaired social interaction skills and the woman who loves him. Here’s an excerpt:

29 Responses to "Autistic Erotica: Love By The Numbers"

  1. edwardluver says:

    wait why ded he scream… i don’t get it!!

  2. Roary says:

    That has to be the greatest thing I have ever read. I can’t stop laughing.

  3. ahahahaha says:


  4. jamie shouse says:

    Look, as a mother to two autistic sons, I find NO humor in this at all, whoever wrote this trash is a sick individual who really is in need of mental help. I hope that you find peace with your own dysfunction, because let me tell you that autistic people are in far better shape than you seem to be. Nothing but Ignorance!

  5. Luchog says:

    Being Aspie, I nearly injured myself trying to keep from exploding in laughter once I got to the last line (my co-workers wouldn’t appreciate the noise). That’s truly brilliant. I’m sending that to my Aspie friends, who will definitely appreciate it.

    Some people need to grow a sense of humour.

  6. Anonymous says:

    I have AS and I say it’s funny.

  7. SunnyMassacre says:

    I do not see the hilarity of this. Be grown up about it and read it again morons…

  8. Bob says:

    I’m a teacher and I have had an utterly brilliant student with Aspergers. After I clean up the water I just spit out laughing at this, I’m going to send it to him and all of the special educators at my school. You have to laugh so you don’t cry.

  9. Edwordrules says:


    there are 963 letters in that.

  10. Stephanie Hafferty says:

    i don’t understand why everyone thinks it’s so funny..seriously..explain to me..?

  11. sophie says:

    I am an aspie and I find this hilarious!

  12. stephanie says:

    you seriously counted all of them? haha nice. :)

  13. Aspieman says:

    Aspies and autistics should not asimilate-neurotypicals are funny too,their feminine brains are mostly concerned with girly airhead issues like romance….

  14. NiveusLuna says:

    I have AS myself, and you offended people take things way too personally. This is one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. I’m capable of empathy myself (barely), but it’s still great.
    Not everything that pokes fun at Autism is an attack. Remember that. Grow a sense of humor while you’re at it, too.

  15. Deacon Blues says:

    Lighten up, folks – that was frakking hilarious! I’m going to make my wife read it when she gets up tomorrow.

    (Do I need credentials? AS, autistic daughter, autistic sister, suspect AS in a LARGE swath of my family…)

  16. Summer says:

    How is this funny? I think it’s a good idea.
    Autistic people AREN’T stupid. They just have impaired social skills.

    These people need to grow up already.

  17. RANI says:

    for one i dont care if your special or w/e frankly i see nothing funny about that. it might not be a great novel or w/e but still theres no reason to laugh.so suck on that:)

  18. Anonymous says:

    I have Asperger’s, and I thought this was fucking hilarious. Those offended seem to be NTs, which I find funny in it’s self.

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  20. Anonymous says:

    I am the mother of an Asperger/autistic son as well. I also have a nephew who is on the spectrum. The authors are dead on. I found this hilarious and I am going to share it with my sister she will love it.


  21. Anonymous says:

    third most impossible question

  22. Yo Momma says:

    Wow, i haven’t laughed that hard in a while… Is that wrong?

  23. Anonymous says:

    My brother has Asperger’s syndrome, as does my father. THEY ARE CAPABLE OF PHYSICAL/SEXUAL AND EMOTIONAL LOVE.

  24. Anonymous says:

    lol and you know this firsthand

  25. Anonymous says:

    why are your pictures always so fucking small? Make the font bigger!

  26. Anonymous says:

    I am the Mother of an Asperger Autistic son. Many believe Albert Einstein also had this syndrome. He did not learn to tie his shoelaces until he was in the 8th grade but he changed Science and the Modern world as we know it. My son has great challenges interacting socially but his intellect and depth of compassion surpass that of most. I am honored he is my child. I find it so terribly disheartening that people would be so cruel. So cruel to place ADDITIONAL challenges in these peoples lives when they fight so hard every single day to assimilate. Choose KNOWLEDGE. If you choose to learn about syndromes rather than make them a “joke” then the world will truly be a better place.

  27. *551/v\1L8+h15 says:

    MSBP is a syndrome.

  28. David says:

    Are you kidding me ? I can’t believe anyone could seriously be offended by that silly story. Come on people !!

  29. Anonymous says:


    I’m going to hell, and I’ll still be laughing!