As you probably already know, Jesus is a pretty popular guy. He's so popular, in fact, that he's inspired people from all walks of life to create their very own versions of the Son of God that somehow take him to another level. Here are 40 of them.
This Jesus is watching you masturbate.
It doesn't matter that you can't read this. You know it's awesome just by looking at the drawings of Jesus jumping off the cross and kicking the crap out of people.
Holy shit, that's go to be the funniest thread I have read in a long time.
Believe what you like, pray to whom you choose, but do not preach to those who do not believe. Find fulfilment in life, not in the promise of an afterlife.
Nice original site.
I am from Sudan and too poorly know English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Asda travel for cheap flights, airline tickets and low cost flights."
Actually new evidence shows the Muslims encroached onto land owned by Europeans but not in the interest of spreading Islam no it was for the reason all wars are started...MONEY and the means to acquire more.
The Crusades were a trade war and religion was a convenient recruiting tool and if religion were not around then race would have been used or something else. I mean would you rush off to risk a horribly painful demise just to make some fat feudal lord boning your village's hot chicks more wealthy?
Not unless Jesus made it okay. Man it's funny to hear people say "man them there muslims think they gonna git 75 virgins in heaven if they kill themselfs killin amuricuns? whut kinda idiot would believe that?"
Gee i dunno maybe your great, great, great, great, great, great ad infintum grandfather who was slaughtering Muslims and Jews in the 9th century thinking he'd get forgiveness from raping peasant girls?
religion is a form of crowd control. it keeps the stupid in line and makes them easier to govern. all religions have this in common everyone on the same page and everyone act the same way
I aploigize on behalf of the Kingdom of God for individuals that have suffered hypercricts. Individuals that have been preached legalism amd rountines. God is not a God of the law he's a God of law. "My people that love me follow my commandments" see even Jesus said himself that you need love before you can do anything else! Jesus loves and died for us all. I myself have feel victim to judging others and following after commandments when there was no love, but I am redeemed Jesus's love is bigger than any sin in my life or any law that I was taught at my old church. He has made the things of him the desires of my heart! He wants you to feel his love for him. He wants you to see his truth and his glory and his majesty.
Reading this made my head hurt. You have the worst grammar I have ever seen. Preachers need to be educated or they look like fools. Stop looking like a fool.
In theory religions teach peace and tolerance. In practice it's a way of mind control telling you how to act, how to think. Christians hate gays, muslims hate just about everyone. I don't believe that is peaceful or tolerant in any form. I'm not religious but I don't tell people how to live their lives or discriminate for any reason. In a way I'm more of a christian than most christians!
Not all Christians hate. Quit painting us all with the same brush. If you Atheists really believed all the crap you are spewing you wouldn't be trying to convince everyone else that what you believe is right.
hey dumbass ever been in a foxhole? believe you me there are plenty of atheists in foxholes, especially after watching what people can do to one another.
it was a good one, caps lock isn't cruise control for cool or make you correct. sarcasm however makes women sigh for your prick in the mere presence of you. keep it up and you'll have me soon enough *wink*
What gets me is that people complain that they find it offensive but you know they read EVERY ONE!! So doesn't that make them hypocrites? Just sayin...
hahaha. excellent.
I agree with what the person down said,
"The tooth fairy was right about good oral hygiene. Doesn't mean she exists."
but you have to let people be and let them believe in what they want.
everyone needs some hope.
its amazing that Jesus is the only one that is ever made fun of, he was the son of God and we ridicule and poke fun of him....he is the only way to salvation and you make fun of him.....blasphemy!!! Just plain Blasphemy!!!!
Imagine the rage and frustration the Muslims would experience if you made fun of Mohamed?? Or if you made fun of Budda?
Why is everyone always picking on Jesus, the son of God the only God who is full of Grace, mercy and Love???
I think our generations need to smarten up, and seek the repentance and forgiveness of the only one who can forgive
It is refreshing to see someone making fun of silly religious stuff. Particularly Christian crap. Jesus? Holy? Worship? Evolve people! Rational people do not believe in the supernatural. Think about it, Jesus could no more walk on water than Harry Potter could fly on a broom.
If you actually believed that you'd just pray it. Why have you taken the time to type it out unless you want to look holier than the rest of us? That is the sin of pride.
I don't pray for you.
GOD IN HEAVIN PLEASE FORGIVE THEM FOR THAY NOT KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE DONE , FATHER HAVE MERCIE ON THEIR SOLES.
HELP DIRECT THEM TO THE WAY,THE TRUTH, AND THE LIGHT.
Then said the lord, "Thou shalt offend easily, both in the being and the doing; for in order to do, thou must feign to be offended."
Then, as spoke in the Book of Microsoftusula, he went to the internets, and he went there through a series of tubes. And he came there, and came there again, many times, for it is written. It is written that the lord had a degree in electrical engineering and communications, by which he was able to understand the electrical dynamics and science-derived technologies by which to spread his message against Science and its evil brethren who would mock the word of the word of the word...of the lord.
And while he was there unloading his pent up aggression toward a secular society, he realized he was an idiot for commenting on message boards no one reads except internet narcissists, and he clicked on his porn tab and went away from there, and came somewhere else. And with his staff he struck milk from the underside of the desk, as he spoke, "Giggity giggity, arghhhughhahh."
Jesus is awesome. The Crusades were a mistake. No one ever said Christians were perfect, but I guess everyone seems to think they are....weird. I'm hardcore Catholic and very involved in church functions, but I still found most of these at least somewhat amusing. the "love Jesus or He'll fucking kill you" and "If you're Jesus and you know it clap your hands" were the best ones
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May 29th, 2009 at 04:27 am
Holy shit, that's go to be the funniest thread I have read in a long time.
Believe what you like, pray to whom you choose, but do not preach to those who do not believe. Find fulfilment in life, not in the promise of an afterlife.
God squad, you have been panned. Epic fail. :D
April 10th, 2009 at 08:42 pm
This is cool because ive seen the one with Jesus carved in the sand. Ocean city Md baby
April 4th, 2009 at 04:44 am
LOL you guys kill me!
oh wait..
March 29th, 2009 at 05:26 am
Nice original site.
I am from Sudan and too poorly know English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: "Asda travel for cheap flights, airline tickets and low cost flights."
Best regards :), Ellis.
March 27th, 2009 at 06:55 pm
oh come on, the black ones are just wrong
February 16th, 2009 at 04:07 pm
Do you even understand why my son hates hockey?
He's always gettin nailed to the boards!
February 16th, 2009 at 04:06 pm
hey
February 25th, 2009 at 09:14 pm
lol
February 4th, 2009 at 04:48 pm
Actually new evidence shows the Muslims encroached onto land owned by Europeans but not in the interest of spreading Islam no it was for the reason all wars are started...MONEY and the means to acquire more.
The Crusades were a trade war and religion was a convenient recruiting tool and if religion were not around then race would have been used or something else. I mean would you rush off to risk a horribly painful demise just to make some fat feudal lord boning your village's hot chicks more wealthy?
Not unless Jesus made it okay. Man it's funny to hear people say "man them there muslims think they gonna git 75 virgins in heaven if they kill themselfs killin amuricuns? whut kinda idiot would believe that?"
Gee i dunno maybe your great, great, great, great, great, great ad infintum grandfather who was slaughtering Muslims and Jews in the 9th century thinking he'd get forgiveness from raping peasant girls?
History reboots.
May 20th, 2009 at 04:35 am
I had to sign up just to give you a big HIGH FIVE for that post!
February 3rd, 2009 at 09:46 am
religion is a form of crowd control. it keeps the stupid in line and makes them easier to govern. all religions have this in common everyone on the same page and everyone act the same way
January 25th, 2009 at 02:26 pm
I aploigize on behalf of the Kingdom of God for individuals that have suffered hypercricts. Individuals that have been preached legalism amd rountines. God is not a God of the law he's a God of law. "My people that love me follow my commandments" see even Jesus said himself that you need love before you can do anything else! Jesus loves and died for us all. I myself have feel victim to judging others and following after commandments when there was no love, but I am redeemed Jesus's love is bigger than any sin in my life or any law that I was taught at my old church. He has made the things of him the desires of my heart! He wants you to feel his love for him. He wants you to see his truth and his glory and his majesty.
February 6th, 2009 at 06:51 am
Reading this made my head hurt. You have the worst grammar I have ever seen. Preachers need to be educated or they look like fools. Stop looking like a fool.
January 8th, 2009 at 02:48 pm
In theory religions teach peace and tolerance. In practice it's a way of mind control telling you how to act, how to think. Christians hate gays, muslims hate just about everyone. I don't believe that is peaceful or tolerant in any form. I'm not religious but I don't tell people how to live their lives or discriminate for any reason. In a way I'm more of a christian than most christians!
March 27th, 2009 at 04:46 pm
Not all Christians hate. Quit painting us all with the same brush. If you Atheists really believed all the crap you are spewing you wouldn't be trying to convince everyone else that what you believe is right.
December 30th, 2008 at 07:27 pm
I'll simplify it kids: anyone who follows any religion is a fucking idiot
January 2nd, 2009 at 08:01 pm
Actually... Anyone practicing the arrogant intolerance that you do, is a fucking idiot.
January 7th, 2009 at 12:32 pm
GLENN, I WISH 4 U 2 GIT HALP WIF UR RELIGIOUS INFECSHUN kthxbye
woot! Religious intolerance FTW!
December 29th, 2008 at 10:23 am
Jesus is coming! Grab a towel!
http://jesuscoming.ytmnd.com
December 24th, 2008 at 07:18 am
www.godandscience.org/answers
December 20th, 2008 at 10:36 am
jesus was an extraterrestrial lol
March 12th, 2009 at 04:03 pm
Jesus had an extra testical ?----- I never knew that ... whatever next
December 11th, 2008 at 07:34 pm
I Intelligently Designed this one:
December 10th, 2008 at 05:16 am
Im sure Jesus meant well when he sent that tsunami
December 7th, 2008 at 01:53 pm
hey dumbass ever been in a foxhole? believe you me there are plenty of atheists in foxholes, especially after watching what people can do to one another.
December 8th, 2008 at 05:50 pm
it was a good one, caps lock isn't cruise control for cool or make you correct. sarcasm however makes women sigh for your prick in the mere presence of you. keep it up and you'll have me soon enough *wink*
December 2nd, 2008 at 07:01 pm
What gets me is that people complain that they find it offensive but you know they read EVERY ONE!! So doesn't that make them hypocrites? Just sayin...
December 1st, 2008 at 07:48 pm
there are no atheists in fox holes...
www.doesgodexist.com
November 28th, 2008 at 06:24 pm
hahaha. excellent.
I agree with what the person down said,
"The tooth fairy was right about good oral hygiene. Doesn't mean she exists."
but you have to let people be and let them believe in what they want.
everyone needs some hope.
December 4th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
good one
November 28th, 2008 at 03:47 am
its amazing that Jesus is the only one that is ever made fun of, he was the son of God and we ridicule and poke fun of him....he is the only way to salvation and you make fun of him.....blasphemy!!! Just plain Blasphemy!!!!
Imagine the rage and frustration the Muslims would experience if you made fun of Mohamed?? Or if you made fun of Budda?
Why is everyone always picking on Jesus, the son of God the only God who is full of Grace, mercy and Love???
I think our generations need to smarten up, and seek the repentance and forgiveness of the only one who can forgive
January 7th, 2009 at 12:34 pm
Yea... I'm glad your mom forgave me for bricking in her mouth last night.
April 30th, 2009 at 01:16 am
what what - you just made my night! seriously i sprayed shit out of my nose laughing so hard when i read that
November 27th, 2008 at 05:45 am
It is refreshing to see someone making fun of silly religious stuff. Particularly Christian crap. Jesus? Holy? Worship? Evolve people! Rational people do not believe in the supernatural. Think about it, Jesus could no more walk on water than Harry Potter could fly on a broom.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:44 am
FATHER GOD PLEASE FORGIVE THEM FOR THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY HAVE DONE.
LORD GOD SHOW THEM TO THE WAY, THE TRUTH AND THE LIGHT.
AMEN
February 6th, 2009 at 07:04 am
If you actually believed that you'd just pray it. Why have you taken the time to type it out unless you want to look holier than the rest of us? That is the sin of pride.
I don't pray for you.
November 26th, 2008 at 11:40 am
GOD IN HEAVIN PLEASE FORGIVE THEM FOR THAY NOT KNOW WHAT THEY HAVE DONE , FATHER HAVE MERCIE ON THEIR SOLES.
HELP DIRECT THEM TO THE WAY,THE TRUTH, AND THE LIGHT.
November 25th, 2008 at 11:05 pm
im FAKE!
January 7th, 2009 at 12:36 pm
I know some people that said they found you. Where were you hiding?
November 25th, 2008 at 06:56 pm
You all are missing the point... Scientology rules! We never killed/tortured/raped anyone in its name....
P.S. Scientology rules!
November 24th, 2008 at 08:43 pm
May God forgive what u done here. This is harsh !
February 6th, 2009 at 07:41 am
And for not using "have".
January 7th, 2009 at 12:37 pm
May the rest of the world forgive you for using 'u' in place of a real word.
November 24th, 2008 at 08:26 pm
Then said the lord, "Thou shalt offend easily, both in the being and the doing; for in order to do, thou must feign to be offended."
Then, as spoke in the Book of Microsoftusula, he went to the internets, and he went there through a series of tubes. And he came there, and came there again, many times, for it is written. It is written that the lord had a degree in electrical engineering and communications, by which he was able to understand the electrical dynamics and science-derived technologies by which to spread his message against Science and its evil brethren who would mock the word of the word of the word...of the lord.
And while he was there unloading his pent up aggression toward a secular society, he realized he was an idiot for commenting on message boards no one reads except internet narcissists, and he clicked on his porn tab and went away from there, and came somewhere else. And with his staff he struck milk from the underside of the desk, as he spoke, "Giggity giggity, arghhhughhahh."
Thus saith the lord.
November 23rd, 2008 at 07:19 pm
why do you hate america?
November 23rd, 2008 at 02:38 am
cool!!!!!!!!!!!!
November 22nd, 2008 at 08:53 pm
alout of this shit is fucked up
November 22nd, 2008 at 11:37 am
Jesus is awesome. The Crusades were a mistake. No one ever said Christians were perfect, but I guess everyone seems to think they are....weird. I'm hardcore Catholic and very involved in church functions, but I still found most of these at least somewhat amusing. the "love Jesus or He'll fucking kill you" and "If you're Jesus and you know it clap your hands" were the best ones
November 22nd, 2008 at 06:17 am
Jesus is my baby's daddy
November 17th, 2008 at 02:23 pm
Big Butter Jesus,
Sweet Cream Jesus
O country fresh Jesus
Unsalted Jesus
O Promise Jesus
Imperial Jesus
Can't believe it's not Jesus
O-le-o Lord
Thanks Heywood Banks!
It's a great song
Search for it! Try bobandtom.com