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Awkward High Fives: A Collection

Let’s face it, not everyone can pull of a high five. You have to not only time it perfectly, but you have to make sure that you don’t use your “I am a complete dork” face. These people weren’t able to pull off either one.

In their minds, this was going to be one of those Coors Light commercials where a couple of rugged guys reach the top of a mountain, give each other a manly, knowing glance and high five their epic accomplishment in the great outdoors. Instead, it was two nerds in the woods who are so uncoordinated they can’t attempt a high five without nearly falling over.

This one’s pretty self-explanatory.

You know it’s bad when you look “actually” lame even when you’re trying to look “ironically” lame.

Waaaaaaaasted five, Bro!

Grandmas are about as aware of high fives as they are of pornography and drugs. So, instead of actively participating, they just close their eyes, hold out their hand and pray someone doesn’t tear their arm off.

Little known fact: It’s impossible to look cool while you’re high-fiving a large French’s mustard bottle.

Something tells me that right before this photo was taken someone had to explain to them what a high five was. “OK, give each other a high five…Ya know…a high five. Where you hit each others hands…no, open palm…just…here, do this and stay like that until I take the picture.”

The Roman’s dejected looking high five says, “I have a job as a Roman.”

I think this is photoshopped, but I don’t care. You know Ballmer hands out awkward high fives in every business meeting he’s ever attended. Plus, his face always looks like that.

A sub-species of the “awkward high five” is the “don’t murder me you weirdo fan who just ran on the field but I’ll placate you until the police get here with a defensive high five,” which is just as fun to watch.

If there are two demographics of the population who should never high five, it’s lesbians and old people. This breaks both of those rules.

The classic female high five with one hand hitting the forearm of an overzealous, leaping high-fiver. This is, by far, the most popular example of the awkward high five.

If these guys were any whiter, you could see their organs.

Dudes, relax. You’re high-fiving so hard you totally exploded yourselves out of the picture. Stay cool, keep your feet on the ground and let’s try this again.

I bet they’re high-fiving because one of them managed to not shit their pants today. Way to go, team!

And finally, the proper way to deal with a high five. She’s like, “I’m old and I’m a woman. I’ve never high-fived anyone in my entire life and I’m not going to start now. You can leave that hand up as long as you want, but I’m going to stare you down until you get the hint.”

7 Responses to "Awkward High Fives: A Collection"

  1. snotspotter says:

    in the last pic it looks like the high-fivin’ guy is cleaning the old guy’s snot in the background

  2. BovinePimp says:

    Granny looks a nazi; probably saw everyone throwin up open hands and figured someone was startin another reich.

  3. Pratik says:

    Sadly, I bet most of these people were sober when trying to high-five.

  4. Seth says:

    I bet most of these people probably said “high-five!” at the time , but seriously high fives are a whole lot of douchebaggery anyway, I dont think you can look “cool” regardless of how well you pull it off. white people… and their silly ways.

  5. bloodshy says:

    maybe i should stop high-fiving all my coworkers when i’m bored…

  6. Dr. says:

    # 3 pic is Bro-search-like.