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Bad News. God’s Not Giving You A Happy Ending.

god, happy ending
This is pretty disappointing news. Could you imagine the happy ending you would get from God? The guy is all-knowing and all-seeing. He is everywhere at the same time. Everywhere. I’ve been to a few massage parlors in my day, and let me tell you, some of those "masseuse’s" could’ve used a little omnipotence when it came time to finish the job.
And yes, this is an actual BBC headline.

10 Responses to "Bad News. God’s Not Giving You A Happy Ending."

  1. Liz A says:

    … but that priest will.

  2. kat says:

    Be careful what you say about God. Yes, He is all-knowing and all-powerful, but since He respects our free will, He lets us have our own way, even though He isn’t pleased with it. With our free will, we also have to accept the consequences of our decisions. That’s why there’s so much evil and corruption in the world, because of man. You really think it’s God’s fault? Why would He even rescue us in the first place? We don’t deserve it.

  3. Anonymous says:

    true dat, true dat. now lemme get dem digits

  4. Redrum says:

    If your idea of God is a hot little Tai chick with soft palms, then yes, I think God does give happy endings.

  5. cory says:
    My point is: God would give awesome handjobs. Sorry if that wasn’t clear, I’m a little hungover.
  6. www.fllottonumbers.net says:

    I don’t follow those thoughts

  7. Colin says:

    Well the truth is he will do it, but you have to pay more – but no matter what, it’s always awkward when God is giving you a massage and at the end he asks – “You want me make banana cry?”

  8. Anonymous says:

    Oh well. Its good “god” doesnt exist then, or i’d be worried….

  9. todders says:
    Speak for yourself, I just slip him a $20… Yo, check out this hilarious video about why Old People suck!
  10. Bootylam! says:

    Unless you phrase it right.