Explore Holy Taco

Bad News. God’s Not Giving You A Happy Ending.

god, happy ending
 
This is pretty disappointing news. Could you imagine the happy ending you would get from God? The guy is all-knowing and all-seeing. He is everywhere at the same time. Everywhere. I’ve been to a few massage parlors in my day, and let me tell you, some of those "masseuse’s" could’ve used a little omnipotence when it came time to finish the job.
 
And yes, this is an actual BBC headline.

10 Responses to "Bad News. God’s Not Giving You A Happy Ending."

  1. www.fllottonumbers.net says:

    I don’t follow those thoughts

  2. cory says:
    My point is: God would give awesome handjobs. Sorry if that wasn’t clear, I’m a little hungover.
  3. Colin says:

    Well the truth is he will do it, but you have to pay more – but no matter what, it’s always awkward when God is giving you a massage and at the end he asks – “You want me make banana cry?”

  4. Liz A says:

    … but that priest will.

  5. Bootylam! says:

    Unless you phrase it right.

  6. Redrum says:

    If your idea of God is a hot little Tai chick with soft palms, then yes, I think God does give happy endings.

  7. Anonymous says:

    Oh well. Its good “god” doesnt exist then, or i’d be worried….

  8. kat says:

    Be careful what you say about God. Yes, He is all-knowing and all-powerful, but since He respects our free will, He lets us have our own way, even though He isn’t pleased with it. With our free will, we also have to accept the consequences of our decisions. That’s why there’s so much evil and corruption in the world, because of man. You really think it’s God’s fault? Why would He even rescue us in the first place? We don’t deserve it.

  9. Anonymous says:

    true dat, true dat. now lemme get dem digits

  10. todders says:
    Speak for yourself, I just slip him a $20… Yo, check out this hilarious video about why Old People suck!