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Abstinence + Rock = A Very Crappy Song

Why do hardcore conservative weirdoes try so hard to reach our nation’s youngsters with corny crap like this? Every 16-year-old boy would murder baby Jesus with his bare hands to have a girl who wanted to have sex with him. If you really want kids to not have sex, you have to use reverse psychology and release a song titled, "Go Ahead And Have Lots Of Sex, Then Get An Abortion In A Couple Weeks."
And for what it’s worth, the only thing this video taught me to abstain from was ripping the sleeves off my denim shirt.

26 Responses to "Abstinence + Rock = A Very Crappy Song"

  1. Anonymous says:

    WTF? When did girls start pushing boys to have sex?

  2. My God says:

    So not only did he not fuck her, but he got left on the side of a dirt road and some other guy ended up getting with the chick he was “in love” with?

  3. Redrum says:

    Amazing! His uptight, conservative social messages just get better and better. Now that Michael Sweet is in the band Boston (yes you heard me right), how long before he writes songs about it being unsafe to take 2 charcoal grills with you into the bathroom?

    Though, I guess as long as you’re wearing an organic, vegan approved condom, it’s safe.

  4. tracy says:

    this should have been the song dirk diggler recorded in boogie nights.

  5. Anonymous says:

    So she kicked out one gay guy, only to pick up another gay guy?

  6. JHC says:

    She-devil whore!

  7. Anonymous says:

    Ain’t no baby if you do it in the bum bum – Lilly Allen

  8. Cytrode says:

    Wow, this video is like… the perfect argument against being a devout christian.

    “Don’t be a christian and chicks will bang you.”

  9. blackie says:

    Possibly the greatest video you’ve posted on the HT.

  10. lugg78 says:

    Thats Michael Sweet from Stryper. Apparently there is no end to his list of messages, video poses and hair gel.

  11. LuLu says:

    I’m not sure what disturbed me more – Michael Sweet’s Christian Rock weiner outlined in his too tight acid washed jeans, or that teenaged whore’s Uncle Fester like eyeballs.

  12. Anonymous says:


  13. Jesus Lover:) says:

    Uhmmm.. thats just rude. Nobody could murder Jesus he was perfect. And its not stupid. Sex was made for married couples not someone that you think you love. Please be respectful of other peoples religions and believes.

  14. Captain Falcon says:

    “Abstinence sucks, everybody fuck!”

  15. the grapist says:

    I thought this was a joke at first. I’m going to watch the Brett Michaels/Pam Anderson sex tape to wash it out of my mind, and restore the awesomeness of hair-metal.

  16. RnfdjVf says:

    Hi! jpglMIiJ

  17. g-man says:

    Actually, I think ripping the sleeves off your denim shirt is a great way to abstain. Unless your in Texas.

  18. Hot Dip says:

    What he really wanted to hear was, don’t worry I can’t get pregnant when you stick it in my ass.

  19. g-man says:

    ummm, how do you think you were made?

  20. rednecked says:

    just found the holytaco 3 days ago have not slept or moved from screen I LOVE THIS FUCKIN SIGHT!!!!!

  21. Gabe says:

    Abstinence 80s hair rock band. Thats totally not a oxymoron.

  22. blackie says:

    Hey baby.

  23. Horny Chick says:

    Stay away from abstinence and Date Hot Girls in your local area tonight…

  24. Sickpigs.com says:

    Guy – “Where’d you get that?”
    Girl – “School.”

  25. blackie says: