It’s hard to believe that we’ve never had a "Best Talk Show Fights" article on Holy Taco
before. Stupid people fighting
and Holy Taco go together like water balloons and urine. Here are some of our favorite talk show fights:
Midget vs. Smaller Midget
This is universally considered the best talk show fight clip ever, and it’s pretty easy to understand why. On the one hand, I’m rooting for the bigger midget, because, being a midget, he rarely has the opportunity to just manhandle someone like this, and I’m proud to see him taking advantage of it. On the other hand, the smaller midget can’t get up if he falls down, so he just crawls around like a seal, and that’s entertaining as hell to watch.
Talk Show Host vs. Guests
I’m not sure where this show is from, but I’m guessing it’s probably somewhere in Eastern Europe, or another place where people have to learn to kick ass at a very young age in order to survive. Eastern Europe also seems like one of the only places where they would design a talk show set that looks so much like the lair of a James Bond villain.
Old Lady vs. Really Old Lady
This is kind of like watching a really shitty fight in slow-motion, but it’s just nice to see these old ladies getting some exercise. Plus, am I the only one who thinks babushkas are sexy as hell?
Hot Bikini Babe vs. Ugly Bikini Babe/Hotter Bikini Babe vs. Host
This isn’t really a very good fight video, but it does contain a bunch of hot babes in bikinis, and after that old lady fight up there, we thought you might like that.
Karate Guy vs. Bride
How many opportunities do you have to kick a bride in the stomach on TV? You gotta take that when it comes your way, even if it means that you will be known as the most literal wife-beater ever. Carpe diem.
Everyone in Hungary vs. Everyone Else in Hungary
Again, I have no idea what this fight is about. All I know is that the guy in this video kicks a woman in the vagina, and you don’t see that often.
Geraldo vs. A Chair
This is the Talk Show Fight that started them all. Geraldo Rivera suffered a broken nose from this epic battle, but not from trying to break up the fight. He got hit in the face with a chair that somebody threw. That would never have happened to Jerry Rivers.
Andy Kaufman vs. Jerry Lawler vs. David Letterman
Even though this classic Kaufman/Lawler fight turned out to be staged, it was still awesome and apparently believable. Many people didn’t know until years later that Kaufman and Lawler were in cahoots the whole time. Also, it looks like Andy really got decked right in the face, which is satisfying because even though he was really unique and talented, he was kind of annoying sometimes.
Jim Everett vs. Jim Rome
Apparently, Jim Rome is kind of a dick.
Tom Arnold vs. Michael Strahan
Here’s what you just saw: fat, crappy comedian Tom Arnold just beat up former Giants defensive end Michael Strahan. It also looked lik Tom Arnold was unconscious in his chair at the end of the scuffle, though, so it’s hard to say exactly who won. One thing’s for sure, though: this fight was about something completely stupid that nobody really cares about.