Britney Spears Has A Taste Of Israel

The above picture is of Britney Spears and her bodyguard, Lee. I think probably the best time to attack someone with a bodyguard is in a pool because a)people move all super slo-mo in pools, and b)I don’t give a f*&k how tough you are, if you happen to get water up your nose you have no choice but to start coughing and go “stop, stop splashing, seriously, hold on a second. Hold on a second, FOR REAL!” But Britney’s bodyguard is in the pool not because he’s her bodyguard, but because he’s also doing her. Celebslam reports:

“She loves guys who work out and he is in great shape from his days serving in the Israeli Army. He also has a few tattoos, which she loves.

“They’ve spent so much time together that one thing led to another and their relationship became physical. They are in Mexico together. They’ve been having a great time , Lee’s put a smile on her face.

So out of all the time she’s spent in Hollywood, she’s decided to bang a Jew that’s from Israel. That’s like working at Sizzler and driving to an Outback Steahouse for dinner.

If this were a movie, no one would watch it. But also, there would definitely be a scene where his orthodox Jewish parents don’t want him dating a gentile, and they come home unannounced, before he’s ready to reveal Britney as his girlfriend. Thus he’s forced to hide her until he finds the right time to tell them, which would lead to a scene like this: