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Britney Spears Likes Phone Sex

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Here’s my problem with phone sex: I’m never exactly sure when a dirty question a girl asks is rhetorical or something she actually wants me to answer, so the few times I’ve tried it, I’ve ended up killing the mood because she’ll say  something like “How do you make me so wet” and I won’t answer because I think it’s rhetorical, but she’ll keep asking until finally I say “Um, I don’t know, probably a combination of things?”  MOOD KILLED.  But, apparently Kevin Federline is a lot better at it than me.    Starmagazine.com reports:

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have been having weekly steamy phone sex sessions.

Recently, when Britney was having a sleepless night, she decided to call Kevin at nearly 2 a.m. While they initially chatted about their boys , Preston, 2, and Jayden, 20 months , the conversation shifted. And as Britney hoped, Kevin knew exactly how to tire her out , with hours of erotic talk!

Wait, so, let me understand this.  They were talking about their children and the conversation shifted towards phone sex?  Wow, that’s impressive that they can shift like that.  Also very creepy.  How does that even work?  Does it go like this?

KEVIN: So, Jayden’s doing good.  He’s had a little rash on his bum bum but I put some cream on that.

BRITNEY: Oh yeah, you put some cream on his bum bum?

KEVIN: Yeah that’s right girl, I put some cream alllllll over his bum bum.  His bum bum was straight COVERED in cream, girl.

BRITNEY: Maybe you can put some of your cream all OVER my bum bum?

And then you can imagine where it goes from there.  He puts the cream on her bum bum.

4 Responses to "Britney Spears Likes Phone Sex"

  1. hooligan says:

    That was disturbing. Then what happened?

  2. brice says:

    ya, no sh!t. keep going.

  3. dirtymouth says:

    HA HA HA. Now my question is, I get it being uncomfortable when you mess up the whole sex talk, but at least after you were finished, you were able to look at the girl and say, oh well at least you are the hottest girl I’ll ever do. When it happens to me, I have to say, is that a finger growing out of your ear, and why does my penis now burn. Damn lucky writer!!!

  4. PSide says:

    Britney: Oh baby are you ready for some phone sex?

    K-Fed: Sure baby you start.

    Britney: Ok baby.. {muffled noise}

    K-Fed: What’s that noise. honey… brit…

    Britney: {muffled noise}

    K-Fed: No baby take the phone out and hold it to your ear. Jesus!

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