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Britney Spears Smokes and Picks Ass


So, above is a picture of Nascar Enthusiast Britney Spears, taking a quick smoke/asshole-picking break.  I can’t really go on some rant where I talk about how gross she is and how much of a disgusting mess you have to be to pick your ass while smoking, because if there was a camera following me around twenty hours a day, there’d be four or five of these photos surfacing daily.  First off, smoking is highly addictive, thus I understand the smoke break.  Secondly, it’s summer, so temperatures are hot and well, swamp ass tends to come about.

But, then it got me thinking.  I’m just a dude who makes a paltry living as a humble blogger, thus I can’t afford the special powders and high class underwear and clothes necessary to properly combat swamp ass.  Britney can.  Therefore we can deduce that even with those anti-swamp ass products, for her asshole to itch, it must mean her asshole is incredibly itchy.  Which got me to thinking:  What could possibly make her ass itch that much.  This is what I came up with.



See, basically what I’m thinking is the dragon in the back is imprisoned in her rectum by the evil wizard and that weird cat thing who probably just laughs when the wizard does something evil.  The turd on the right is just a normal turd.  But anyway, when the dragon gets riled up, her ass gets itchy.

Holy crap, I’m losing my mind.  Is it Friday?  No?

9 Responses to "Britney Spears Smokes and Picks Ass"

  1. SEth says:

    Whooaa dude….. they pay you for this? Sign me up, I can make up silly stories about why celebrities pick their assholes too.

  2. justin says:

    I’m not so sure. You either accidentally capitalized the first two letters of your name, or you think that’s cool. Both are errors that would upset my boss.

    Of course, I just made this nonsensical post, which will probably upset him as well. Please send resumes to feedback@holytaco.com

  3. Stay Fly says:

    seth got owned.

  4. Tombot says:

    Picks her ass? She’s branching out….she only used to suck ass.

  5. DrB says:

    By far the best theory on Brit’s ass attack – love the casual mention of the “normal turd” Of course the “abnormal turd” would be anyone she may be boinking at the moment. She must be running short on cash – I would think she had some posse member to ass scatch for her.

  6. jonathan says:

    i think that might be where she stashed what was left of her career!

  7. AJSHITPANTS says:


  8. Anonymous says:

    that’s Britneys sister dum asses

  9. save britbrit says:

    Didn’t you guys know? Brit Brit is hosting the Golden Seal, which is going to destroy the world with Giant Farts http://digitalfuntown.squarespace.com/dft-blog/2008/5/13/cold-wars-the-quest-for-the-golden-seal-episode-4.html