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Brooke Hogan Will Play Your Party

Have you ever been to a party and thought, “This party would be so much better if Brooke Hogan was here?” If you answered yes, you’re Brooke Hogan. If you answered no, you’re every other human being on the f*&king planet. But, Brooke wants to let you know that’s she’s available. Perezhilton.com reports:

The reality TV star and failed singer is fishing for work.

She’s taken to her official blog, begging someone to hire her!

Says Brooke:

BROOKE NOW ACCEPTING PERFORMANCE AND APPEARANCE DATES!!!
Category: Music

Brooke is now accepting offers for Live Tour Dates, Live Performances, and Appearances.

Call now to book a date. Brooke’s schedule fills up quickly and she doesn’t wanna let anyone down!

I foresee a large group of thirteen year old Jewish boys with erections staring at her in the near future. I really like that she says her “schedule fills up quickly and she doesn’t want to let anybody down.” I think in the history of Brooke Hogan’s existence, no one has ever said “Great, I was supposed to see Brooke Hogan but she’s busy. Man, this just really shits all over my day.”

Here’s what I think’s gonna happen. Her agent is going to get a call from “Bulk Bogan,” and he’s going to book her on gigs all over town, but at the last minute a prior engagement will keep him from attending. But since no one will actually want her to come, he’ll have to eventually end up booking her places like this:

That kid in the top left of the class does not seem to be enjoying her performance.

10 Responses to "Brooke Hogan Will Play Your Party"

  1. Chad says:

    Hey. Some people make headlines while others make history.
    I am from Mozambique and also now am reading in English, give please true I wrote the following sentence: “Cheap vacations, cheap airline tickets, cheap flights, cheap airfares, cheap cheap airline tickets.”

    Thank you so much for your future answers :D . Chad.

  2. DCScrap says:

    the comments on her blog post are even better. nice photoshop work btw…

  3. Joe says:

    Hulk’s left hand is a little close to Brooke’s fun parts… and the shape his hand is making doesn’t help at all.

  4. El Rico says:

    That poor little pre-school girl getting a smell from Brooke’s stinky twat!! She better watch out cuz a hot lunch may shoot all over her face.

  5. justin says:

    DC, I think this might be my favorite photoshop that I’ve done. Anytime someone can make a comment about Brooke Hogan giving a little girl a hot lunch, I know I’ve done my job.

  6. El Rico says:

    Justin,

    Do you think you can work a little more photoshop magic and show the liquid Jenny Craig hot lunch on the litttle girl’s head?

    Thanks,

    El Rico

  7. justin says:

    Wow, six months ago when I started this site, I always hoped someone would ask me that question. Unfortunately, I”m not that good at photoshop or else I’d definitely give it a try.

  8. Josh says:

    Damn. Those kids are just clueless that she’s there. She must be pretty ugly.

  9. holycow says:

    oh c’mon. aren’t we sick, tired, completely over scantly dress, bimbo looking blonds?
    i know i’m not.

  10. LOL says:

    Dude. I can’t look at that picture of Hogan shakin her ass for all those little kids without laughing. That’s good stuff.