In this history of great defenses, there’s Clarence Darrow’s defense of evolution in the Scopes-monkey trial, Thomas Jefferson’s defense of liberty in the declaration of independence and now, another great defense has emerged; Carnie Wilson’s defense of her weight gain on Good Morning America. Behold PURE GENIUS:
Carnie Wilson is slamming the National Enquirer for claiming that she has gained 79 pounds
“If I’m 205 today, that means I am up 70 pounds,” she revealed in a candid interview about her weight battle on Good Morning America Thursday. 79 pounds, she said, “is an outright lie.
That’s right you f-ing bastards! How DARE you say she’s gained 79 pounds when CLEARLY she’s gained 70! Liars! The press are all liars! It’s simple fact checking. I mean, open your eyes people! Here’s Carney at her weight now, a gain of 70 pounds!
Now look when I use the computer simulation to show what a 79 pound weight gain would be.
See! Obviously different! I have no tolerance for lazy journalism.