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The Corona Summer Caption Contest

Corona Summer Banner

It’s summer time and that means you should probably hit some water slides with me. Before we arrange that though, the good people at Corona asked me if I wanted to run a contest for you lot to help kick off their Corona Summer promotion bec...

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25 More Obnoxious Foods Than a Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe

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The San Diego Fatty Fat Fat Festival kicked off last week with the introduction of a new manner of gut-obliterating fried food – the Krispy Kreme Sloppy Joe. See, fairs like to keep introducing newer and grosser foods in an ever increasing gamble...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: June 7th

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Last week After Earth farted onto screens that no one watched, ensuring that Fast 6 stayed on top of the heap pulling in a ton of cash that could have been used to buy food for the homeless. Ha ha ha! Anyway, on with this week.

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15 Names That Only Work for Old Men

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I met a dude named Mortimer recently and I have no idea what he does or what he said to me because I got lost in his name. Mortimer. Morty. How is it someone who isn’t retired has that name in 2013? His parents must have hated him the moment t...

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6 of the Best Female Comedians Working Today

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Not too long ago, sad old timer Jerry Lewis reiterated his distaste for female comedians, stating how unfunny they are, or something very much like that. It doesn’t matter because he’s irrelevant to the modern world and, truth be told, he was not...

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How to Cook Quinoa

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Quinoa is a South America grain that has a long, boring history as do most grains if you ever find yourself hard up for reading material – the history of grains is sure to put you right to sleep. It’s become something of a popular food item in th...

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25 Things That Could Have Improved After Earth

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After Earth opened this weekend as failed Blockbuster since it seems to be universally reviled. Luckily for me I was able to go see it (not my choice) and now I have firsthand knowledge of why no one liked it – because it sucked.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: May 31st

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Fast 6 dominated last week because zoom! I don’t get it but who am I to judge? Just a guy who judges each and every week in this article. Yes sir.

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The 5 Most Badass Rare Dogs in the World

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Everyone likes dogs, except a large portion of society who prefer cats or no animals at all. No one prefers fish because that would be idiotic. Fish are barely event things. That said, while most of us are aware of the usual kinds of dogs in th...

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Hansel and Gretel: Cinematic Gold!

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You may recall but will be forgiven if you don’t that last year a movie about Hansel and Gretel, the famous Grimm’s fairy tale, was released. It starred Hawkeye and a woman who’s fallen into a terrible trap of big budget failures whose name I’ll ...

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