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Todd and the Book of Pure Evil and You


I need you to watch this clip from Todd and the Book of Pure Evil very carefully.

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5 Things Everything Must Like to Be Normal


In the 50s, if TV hasn’t lead me astray, everyone knew what normal was. Everyone wanted to be normal and abnormal was uncool. Then sometime in the 90s people started saying “what’s normal anyway?” and we decided to accept all kinds of insanity a...

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25 Better Things to Watch Than An SNL Rerun


I’ve come to the conclusion that people watch Saturday Night Live out of habit. It’s been on TV since 1923 and it’s just always there and, honestly, nothing else new is on at 11:30 on a Saturday so people watch it in the hopes that it will be a f...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: April 26th


A few years ago, couldn’t say when exactly, May really became the month when studios started ushering out the big blockbusters. Summer has always been the season of huge film releases but the date of the year’s first big tentpole seems to always ...

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Ranking 17 Super Mario Characters by Awesomeness


According to my research there are 713 different Mario games in existence probably. Like I’d really check. There are a lot of them, though, and they’ve been pretty much the foundation of everything Nintendo has done forever. Without Mario they ...

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The Oldest Dildo in the World: A Perspective


It’s 28,000 years ago. Saber-toothed cats still exist. As do Neanderthals. Humanity is slowly establishing itself, art is being created, and tools. And in a cave, in what is present day Germany, someone stores their stone dildo. It’s about 8 ...

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5 Food Network Shows I Should Be On


I recently wrote about why I should be a judge on Iron Chef: America but let’s be honest – the Food Network has a whole schedule of shows that could benefit from my presence. Am I a classically trained chef? No. Am I a celebrity? No. Would p...

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: April 19th


We’ve all had a week to recover from none of us seeing Scary Movie 5, so that’s good. In what was a surprise to no one, that movie sucked and is making shit money. I don’t understand how people keep throwing money at shitty ideas like that. I w...

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The 5 Best Monsters for Dads


Probably your dad sucks. It’s the nature of dads. Like maybe as a dad he’s awesome, but I mean in the grand scheme of things he sucks compared to a ninja or a robot, right? Of course.

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4 Things At Which No One Really Wins


Not everyone can be a winner, that’s a lesson that’s slowly being forgotten thanks to the overabundance of participation ribbons and awards children get just for existing and barely trying these days. Time was you had to excel at something and be...

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