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American Idol Recap: The Finale

idol

I know what you’re thinking – “Ian, can I undress and feed you chicken wings?” The answer is a resounding yes. And while we do that let me explain something to you – American Idol is, as far as I know, still on TV. I set out this year with a mi...

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25 Things That Make You an Objectively Bad Person

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Listen, I’m no expert on life, love and how things work, but I’m probably more qualified to make decisions about those things than a large percentage of the world. I base this belief on my powers of observation and the fact I’ve witnessed so many...

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The 5 Worst Card Games Found Online

cards

Playing cards have existed since the Tang Dynasty in China, Tang being the most awesome and party-filled Dynasty of them all. Since that time they’ve evolved into one of the most timeless, reliable and fun ways to pass the time.

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Upcycle Your Broken Mobile Phone Parts into Survival Tools

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You know how sometimes when you go hiking you get attacked by a mountain lion or a clan of inbreds and you hurl your phone in a fit of ill-planned panic and now you can’t call for help and your phone is broken? Well don’t lost hope jus...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th

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It’s a brand new week at the ass end of January where few people try hard when it comes to films. Is that unfair? Not really. On the upside there’s a movie I actually want to see coming out this week. In limited release. Listen, limited relea...

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Why Terrell Mims: Plagiarist Doesn’t Get It

MMSHEAD

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to be saturated in douche. Terrell Mims has resurfaced. Back in 2011 Holy Taco helped out him as a word thief, a man building his reputation on lies and deceit, copying the work of other aut...

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When Internet People Make Fake Vaginas

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As you know, I have a history of reviewing Fleshlights in non sexy ways. I mean, obviously you can hump one, but what else is it good for? That’s always been my point of view. But what are other people out there doing? I know that there are a ...

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Holy Taco Field Guide to Naming Groups of People

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Crows come in a murder. Everyone is instantly amused when they learn this. Boars come in a sounder. Otters in a romp. Porcupines in a prickle. It’s no end of amusement to look up stuff like so long as you never question how this is official i...

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The American Idol Recap: Part 2

idol

Once again I refuse to write anything down for about 20 minutes. Nicki Minaj is dressed like a gay leopard Sky Captain. I’m stating officially, right now, that I will not be able to continue this for a whole season. Why is this show on for anot...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

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It’s a new week and new contenders for the throne have reared their ugly heads. Who’s currently on the throne? Zero Dark Thirty, I think. I could look but what am I, a looker? Pfft.

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