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Holy Taco Field Guide to Naming Groups of People

watch

Crows come in a murder. Everyone is instantly amused when they learn this. Boars come in a sounder. Otters in a romp. Porcupines in a prickle. It’s no end of amusement to look up stuff like so long as you never question how this is official i...

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The American Idol Recap: Part 2

idol

Once again I refuse to write anything down for about 20 minutes. Nicki Minaj is dressed like a gay leopard Sky Captain. I’m stating officially, right now, that I will not be able to continue this for a whole season. Why is this show on for anot...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

review

It’s a new week and new contenders for the throne have reared their ugly heads. Who’s currently on the throne? Zero Dark Thirty, I think. I could look but what am I, a looker? Pfft.

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The American Idol Recap: Part 1

idol

Oh my Jesus. I’m doing this. Gird yourselves. OK, so this year the roster got shaken up and the old ladies of yesteryear are gone, replaced with Nicki Minaj, Mariah Carey and Keith Urban. 100 years ago this panel would have just been a table o...

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Stop Yelling at Walruses: A PSA

walrus

I am a walrus. I frolic in the sea like a majestic fatty.

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The Versatility of Turd

turd

Ahh. The noble turd. Unloved. Overlooked. Shunted aside like so much shit. The turd is ever a stalwart companion in our vulgar lexicon. Not so robust as shit, not so juvenile as poop. Not as scholarly as feces or fecund as excrement. It is...

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25 Things the Internet is Better Than

net

It’s 2013 and according to recent studies, everyone spends all the time on the internet. Everyone. All the time. Internet. But there’s also this curious notion people have been developing that they need to spend time away from the internet, doi...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 11th

review

Naturally I didn’t want a single movie that came out last week because they were all abhorrent in some way. This week looks less awful, but there’s a lot opening in limited release that looks extra awful to make up for it. I’m starting to think ...

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How to Be Wrong

tweetrape

As some of you know, I’m an avid Twat. Ha ha! I play with linguistics. But seriously, as part of my job, I’m on Twitter a lot and, unofficially, part of my job is to make fun of Donald Trump. I now present to you a series of tweets that result...

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When Boobs Go Bad

jack

Any man on Earth with an interest in boobs (gay guys, go have a smoothie) can confirm that, at some point in time, in a conversation with a woman, you’ll be challenged with the spurious and confused notion that men just love boobs.

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