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Articles - Page 31

Have a Merry, Tacky Christmas with the Justice Coin

tacky1

Pull up a Yule log and pour yourself some nog, Holy Taco has a tale of holiday woe and crapitude for you. As you’d expect this time of year, there are many gifts to be bought for many loved ones and people you are obligated to spend time with ali...

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The 25 Best Things About Krampus

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Are you familiar with Krampus? Our Alpine friends cooked him up as a sort of counter to Saint Nicholas. He’s basically a Christmas monster that shows up and punishes bad kids and if they’re particularly bad, they get stuffed in his sack and take...

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How to Be a Mall Santa

santa

So you’ve decided to be society’s version of herpes, good for you! Now is the season when mall Santas are in higher demand than ever because early June mall Santas are usually serial killers who are actually volunteers more often than not. Many ...

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Twas the Night Before Christmas

twas

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the web The trolls were a-tweeting trying to bait a celeb The Redditors were clicking their blue links with glee And online pornographers kept posting videos of pee

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Dec 14th

review

We’re getting close to Christmas which is a weird time for films because studios seem to throw three turds and a gold nugget to audiences every week. Except for last week, of course, which was all turd. Seriously, name a movie that opened last w...

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Holy Taco’s Holiday Hootenanny

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Christmas is almost here unless you’re a heathen in which case nothing is almost here. Nothing. Just another day of you frowning. Why so sad, heathen? That’s what happy people will say. Then, before you can answer, they’ll skip away and forge...

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The Day I Met Shaggy

shaggy

I’d woken up late that cold, Monday morning. It was already 11, my alarm had forsaken me and left me to fail unmercifully all my day’s tasks. And fail I could not! For on this day I was to be off to a fabulous press junket where I would be able ...

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The Holy Taco 2012 Gift Guide

giftguide

It’s December and that means you need to buy shit. Have you bought shit yet? You better buy shit. Unless you’re not Christian in which case as you were. But know that Jesus is super disappointed in you.

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Things No One Wants to See in 2013

2013

Call this the Angry Article, it’s a rundown of everything we endured in 2012 that we really need to sweep under the rug for 2013 because it’s more than run its course. And sure, 2013 will have a whole new batch of awful crap no one enjoys by the ...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: Special Suck Edition

review

I looked at everything that opened this week and it sucks hard. Like super hard. Instead of reviewing all these movies that no one is going to see because of how shitty they are I am now going to review Holiday Movies I Have Seen but that No One...

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