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Articles - Page 33

The 7 Sandwiches of Shame

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Remember when you were a child? Neither does your absentee father! Ha ha! Wait, no, that was uncalled for. My dad left, too. He joined the circus to “make for hump” with the bearded lady and never came back. We both have trauma. Let’s start ...

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‘That Can Be My Next Tweet’ Tweets For You, You Lazy Bastards

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Tweeting is hard, you guys. So very hard. I mean, to deliver unto you nothing but the finest one-liners (all of which you can find @holytaco) we have to labor for, literally, seconds as we think up bullshit that makes us laugh. And then, on top of...

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How To Tuesday: How to Overcome a Hostile Alien Attack

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So you’ve decided not to die at the hands of creepy, tentacle invaders, good for you! If Hollywood is to be believed, and Hollywood is never wrong, then aliens are climbing over each other to get to earth. One in ten of those aliens wants to hu...

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The GIF Hole

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The Best part about GIFs is the GIF part.

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Tupac’s Hologram Performed At Coachcella. The Future Is Now. And It’s Wearing Saggy Jeans.

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It must have been a mind melting experience being at Coachcella this past weekend, especially if you were on drugs. Not only did you get to see performance from Snoop Dog and his cavalcade of surprise guests, including Dr. Dre, Whiz Kalifa, Warren...

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The Walking Carl: Chapter 3

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Found a house full of zombies up the street this morning. Mostly they ignored me because I’m not essential to the plot unless everyone knows I’m missing, which they didn’t at the time. It’s kind of nice, actually, unless they notice I’m gone in ...

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Game Of Thrones Makes Me Want To Watch A Child Die

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My biggest gripe of the show and the books so far is that Joffrey isn’t dead yet.

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One Direction: A Video Breakdown

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One Direction are a British band that were forged in the fires of Simon Cowell’s supple man bosom. They’ve been around for a while but are blowing up in America now and were just recently on SNL. To celebrate that, I forced myself to watch their v...

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A Letter To The Commercial For The Movie “Lockout”

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Dear Lockout, You look like a silly-ass movie. As such, I will probably watch you three times and love it. But, please, stop pretending that you aren’t a silly-ass movie. You are a movie about a prison break in space that has shitty, generic rock ...

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6 of the Whitest Songs Ever

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Music is often a very emotional, soulful experience for people. It’s hard to listen to some Beethoven without feeling a little bit moved, or to listen to Nickelback without feeling a little bit queasy. And then there are songs that were made del...

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The 15 Sexiest SNL Hostesses


Top 20 Most Shocking Girls


The 11 Dumbest Celebrity Tattoos


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How to Make a McGriddle at Home


Sandra Lee Talks Dirty


6 Types of Girls You'll Meet on a reality Dating Show


7 Tiny Yet Terrifying Animals


5 Drinks No Man Over 25 Shall Order


Female Murderers You’d Probably Go Home With


15 Tattoo Fails


20 Hottest Photos of Kim Kardashian

Courtney Love & Muppet Sexual Assault

Playboy’s Big Dance March Madness Bracket Challenge


The Hottie Index