Articles - Page 4

The Didgeri-Death Metal Song

Some years ago I wrote a didgeridoo love song and it went over pretty well, won me a Grammy or two, got me some groupies, all that jazz. But did I rest on my laurels? Nah. I rested on a mean ass pillow and wrote another song. A death metal son...

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6 Bad Ass Swimsuits

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by Ian Fortey

Summer is on its way faster than you can say something that will take you several months to finish saying. To get ready for the season you may need to get yourself a new swimsuit because I’m planning on hitting a lot of water slides and I expect ...

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4 Things Evil Dead Needed to be Perfect

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by Ian Fortey

The Evil Dead remake opened on Friday and seems to have kicked the box office’s ass, which is generally impressive for an R rated movie that kind of cuts a huge chunk of the audience from seeing it. Overall it was a well liked film with some peop...

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25 Worse Casting Choices Than Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie

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by Ian Fortey

Chloe-Moretz-as-Carrie-in-Fan-Made-Poster-575x813

Here’s an odd one for you – usually people complain about casting choices because an actor sucks. This is the opposite.

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

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by Ian Fortey

Last week I watched John Dies at the End, which you can now see on DVD or Blu Ray. I have nothing much else to say about movies in theaters. I’m sure they were all wonderful and thought provoking and interesting and not shitty. Did GI Joe open?...

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8 Animals Ruined by Humans

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by Ian Fortey

You know who names animals? People. A dog didn’t wander into Babylon one day and tell everyone it was called a dog. The word came from an old English word for a specific kind of canine and then bam! English has a word for that animal. So ever...

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The Walking Dead Just Died: A Eulogy

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by Ian Fortey

I needed a couple days to work up this article because of all the emotion involved. You know the Taco loves zombies, we have zombie content up the wazoo on this site and, of course, we brought you the epic series that was the Walking Carl and its...

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The Inner Monologue of the Easter Bunny the Day After Easter

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by Ian Fortey

Oh God, my back. I feel like hell. Where the hell is Margaret? Oh God. I still stink like chocolate. I hate it. Oh God, I hate children. I wish I was dead.

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25 Acceptable Reasons to not Watch Game of Thrones

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by Ian Fortey

Game of Thrones returned last night and it was awesome because it could be nothing but. Some people apparently don’t watch Thrones, however and that’s OK, we all have our reasons for insane, unjustifiable behavior. Here are the only acceptable r...

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

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by Ian Fortey

The Croods owned the box office last week because a big cartoon tentpole is always sure money. People go see animated releases now because Pixar is all artsy fartsy and you’re almost considered somehow now a film fan if you don’t sit through some...

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Articles - Page 4

The Didgeri-Death Metal Song

6 Bad Ass Swimsuits

4 Things Evil Dead Needed to be Perfect

25 Worse Casting Choices Than Chloe Grace Moretz as Carrie

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: April 5th

8 Animals Ruined by Humans

The Walking Dead Just Died: A Eulogy

The Inner Monologue of the Easter Bunny the Day After Easter

25 Acceptable Reasons to not Watch Game of Thrones

Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen Yet: March 29th

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