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Articles - Page 49

The GIF Hole

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I gave my love a GIF, it had no bones.

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5 Girls You’ll Meet at the Avengers Premiere

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This Friday is the premiere of Marvel’s The Avengers, the biggest thing to happen to comic book movies since Dolph Lundgren made us all fall in love with the Punisher. The movie is sure to be huge and will rake in more money than any of us are eve...

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How to Start a Third Political Party

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So, you’ve decided to ruin the political system in America, good for you. Running for office is never an easy task, and trying to not be either a Democrat or a Republican is basically suicide. And hey, for you Canadians, try running on a Green P...

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If Your Ex-Girlfriend Is a Dentist, She Will Pull Out Your Teeth

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Anna Mackowiak, a dentist in Poland, just pulled what has to be one of the most horrifying, yet impressive, acts of post-break up revenge you’ll probably hear of any time soon.

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The Walking Carl: Chapter 5

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I have a serious problem. Remember zombie Stephen Hawking from last week? Well, I thought I took care of him with a Roman candle, but I guess I just scorched his head a bit. And for whatever reason he seems to have really enjoyed it because he ...

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Who Will Go #1 In The 2034 NFL Draft?

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Folks, we’re all currently steeped deep within the burly, possibly HGH raging heart of the NFL draft, a glorious time of year when we watch college kids walk on to a stage to put on a hat that will no longer fit them once they become stars and the...

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Silver Screen Scoop: Grandpa Edition

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My typing hand cramped up on me this week as a result of extensive and exhaustive corn shucking, so I had to get my grandfather Howard to put together the silver screen scoop for the week. Having never heard of any of these movies owing to not ha...

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The GIF Hole

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One time I met a GIF on a lonely road at night and gave it a ride. We talked about our family and friends and work and whatever and eventually we came to an old farm house where I dropped the GIF off. The next day I saw the GIF had left its wat...

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Get Your Cell Phones The Hell Out of the Movie Theater

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CinemaCon is a meeting held in Las Vegas where movie theater owners and movie industry types come together to talk about various aspects of the business of movies, from the latest technologies to the new and stupidly expensive junk food companies ...

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Kanye West and Kim Kardashian Go on a Date

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Setting: A busy, hip, urban restaurant. Waitresses dress like they are at the club, there is a wine list and a bottled water list. All food is served in dishes devoid of right angles. You can be Kobe beef sliders because they are whimsical. T...

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