Articles - Page 5

The 7 Sandwiches of Shame

Remember when you were a child? Neither does your absentee father! Ha ha! Wait, no, that was uncalled for. My dad left, too. He joined the circus to “make for hump” with the bearded lady and never came back. We both have trauma. Let’s start ...

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‘That Can Be My Next Tweet’ Tweets For You, You Lazy Bastards

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by Luis Prada

Tweeting is hard, you guys. So very hard. I mean, to deliver unto you nothing but the finest one-liners (all of which you can find @holytaco) we have to labor for, literally, seconds as we think up bullshit that makes us laugh. And then, on top of...

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How To Tuesday: How to Overcome a Hostile Alien Attack

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by Ian Fortey

So you’ve decided not to die at the hands of creepy, tentacle invaders, good for you! If Hollywood is to be believed, and Hollywood is never wrong, then aliens are climbing over each other to get to earth. One in ten of those aliens wants to hu...

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The GIF Hole

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by Ian Fortey

The Best part about GIFs is the GIF part.

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Tupac’s Hologram Performed At Coachcella. The Future Is Now. And It’s Wearing Saggy Jeans.

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by Luis Prada

It must have been a mind melting experience being at Coachcella this past weekend, especially if you were on drugs. Not only did you get to see performance from Snoop Dog and his cavalcade of surprise guests, including Dr. Dre, Whiz Kalifa, Warren...

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The Walking Carl: Chapter 3

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by Ian Fortey

Found a house full of zombies up the street this morning. Mostly they ignored me because I’m not essential to the plot unless everyone knows I’m missing, which they didn’t at the time. It’s kind of nice, actually, unless they notice I’m gone in ...

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Game Of Thrones Makes Me Want To Watch A Child Die

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by Luis Prada

My biggest gripe of the show and the books so far is that Joffrey isn’t dead yet.

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One Direction: A Video Breakdown

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by Ian Fortey

One Direction are a British band that were forged in the fires of Simon Cowell’s supple man bosom. They’ve been around for a while but are blowing up in America now and were just recently on SNL. To celebrate that, I forced myself to watch their v...

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A Letter To The Commercial For The Movie “Lockout”

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by Luis Prada

Dear Lockout, You look like a silly-ass movie. As such, I will probably watch you three times and love it. But, please, stop pretending that you aren’t a silly-ass movie. You are a movie about a prison break in space that has shitty, generic rock ...

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6 of the Whitest Songs Ever

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by Ian Fortey

Music is often a very emotional, soulful experience for people. It’s hard to listen to some Beethoven without feeling a little bit moved, or to listen to Nickelback without feeling a little bit queasy. And then there are songs that were made del...

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Articles - Page 5

The 7 Sandwiches of Shame

‘That Can Be My Next Tweet’ Tweets For You, You Lazy Bastards

How To Tuesday: How to Overcome a Hostile Alien Attack

The GIF Hole

Tupac’s Hologram Performed At Coachcella. The Future Is Now. And It’s Wearing Saggy Jeans.

The Walking Carl: Chapter 3

Game Of Thrones Makes Me Want To Watch A Child Die

One Direction: A Video Breakdown

A Letter To The Commercial For The Movie “Lockout”

6 of the Whitest Songs Ever

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