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Study: Men Prefer Pink Vaginas To Red Ones

Large Shell Statue

As a kid, if I had known that being a scientist not only meant being in a lab filled with chalkboards and bubbling cauldrons of smoking green liquid, but also being able to ask other guys what kinds of vagains they prefer, I would have immediately...

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Holy Taco’s Silver Screen Scoop

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It’s the weekend and that means there’s a whole new crop of films coming out to entertain you while you eat $5 popcorn and drink $5 Mountain Dew and gorge yourself on $5 Milk Duds. Sweet. But what movie should you see? With no other websites ar...

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The Nut Shot Conspiracy

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I am about to betray mankind. When I say mankind I legitimately mean men. I am turning my back, ever so briefly, on dudes. Sorry, bro. This needs to be done. Very few people have ever kicked or been kicked in the nuts.

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Mohammad Ashan Is The Stupidest Terrorist Ever

Mohammad Ashan

I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find it hard to believe members of the Taliban were intelligent enough to fight back when U.S. forces landed on their soil. Every so often a bit of news comes out that makes you wonder if the people we were ...

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The 7 Sandwiches of Shame

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Remember when you were a child? Neither does your absentee father! Ha ha! Wait, no, that was uncalled for. My dad left, too. He joined the circus to “make for hump” with the bearded lady and never came back. We both have trauma. Let’s start ...

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‘That Can Be My Next Tweet’ Tweets For You, You Lazy Bastards

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Tweeting is hard, you guys. So very hard. I mean, to deliver unto you nothing but the finest one-liners (all of which you can find @holytaco) we have to labor for, literally, seconds as we think up bullshit that makes us laugh. And then, on top of...

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How To Tuesday: How to Overcome a Hostile Alien Attack

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So you’ve decided not to die at the hands of creepy, tentacle invaders, good for you! If Hollywood is to be believed, and Hollywood is never wrong, then aliens are climbing over each other to get to earth. One in ten of those aliens wants to hu...

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The GIF Hole

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The Best part about GIFs is the GIF part.

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Tupac’s Hologram Performed At Coachcella. The Future Is Now. And It’s Wearing Saggy Jeans.

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It must have been a mind melting experience being at Coachcella this past weekend, especially if you were on drugs. Not only did you get to see performance from Snoop Dog and his cavalcade of surprise guests, including Dr. Dre, Whiz Kalifa, Warren...

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The Walking Carl: Chapter 3

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Found a house full of zombies up the street this morning. Mostly they ignored me because I’m not essential to the plot unless everyone knows I’m missing, which they didn’t at the time. It’s kind of nice, actually, unless they notice I’m gone in ...

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