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This Book is Full of Spiders: a Review


Literary criticism has somewhat curled up and died over the years and now we’re at a point where reviews are torn between “I love/hate this book because pew pew awesome raawr!” and “This book displays certain tropes and mimetic principles that ono...

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The Day I Didn’t Meet Lou Ferrigno


I was supposed to meet Lou Ferrigno. But I didn’t. I was attending Toronto’s Fan Expo from August 23rd to 26th. My plan? To met Lou Ferrigno and challenge him to a fight on camera. Then to put the video of the fight on Break.com and HolyTaco ...

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Filthy Limericks for All Occasions


You know what we don’t have enough of? Dirty limericks.

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen: August 24th


Last week was a shameful event at the movies (or not, depending on your tastes) but this week is going straight up subtle with offerings that are all pretty much flying under the radar. To the movies!

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An Open Letter to Up and Coming Disney Stars


S’up? You guys just hanging out? That’s cool. Pretty def, huh? And maybe phat? Yeah. So listen, I don’t want to come off sounding like a square adult, or some kind of unhip shitbird (kids still say that, right?) but I need you to be prepared ...

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5 Planets Not Run by Apes

large planet of the apes blu-ray6

You can’t trust a planet of the apes and I’ll tell you why – it’s run by apes. We all love a chimpanzee when they’re wearing t-shirts and engaging in delightful antics, but the downside is that every so often a chimp can and will take a person’s ...

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How to Fight a Holy Man in 3 Easy Steps


So, you’ve decided to take a harbinger of a Lord to task (which Lord? Doesn’t matter), good for you. For far too long the envoys of the various holy orders around the world have been getting pretty uppity, haven’t they? With their circumcisions...

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A Game of Hodor vs The Walking Carl


It is dark and it is cold and everything should be still and peaceful. Everything is not. The forest has shed its forest sounds. There are no birds in trees, nor even insects. There is no breeze. But there is the crunch of leaves, felled bran...

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Reviewing Movies we Haven’t Seen: August 17th


This is arguably one of the biggest weeks for movies in ages, not because it has a certified blockbuster like every week since May, but because it doesn’t. In fact, it has a lot of movies that are uniquely tailored to different audiences making i...

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6 Saddest Places Penises Have Had to be Freed From


The penis is the strangest animal you’ll ever meet. It stands proud when it’s happy, shrinks like a fearful puppy when it’s scared or cold and it also humps stuff. All kinds of stuff. And not just normal stuff like other people or Fleshlights, ...

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