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Articles - Page 7

Because It’s So Damn Cold Outside


It’s cold here. Too cold. Frigid as a nun with a hormone imbalance. I don’t like it.

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An Open Letter to the Wendy’s That Made Me Violently Ill


25 Curses You Utter When Your New Router Fails


This weekend I bought a new router after realizing I’d been using the same router since about 2005 and it was only capable of top speeds somewhere around half of what my modem should be kicking out. Basically I was putting premium fuel in old tim...

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8 Khristmas Kards Almost as Good as the Kardashians’


Send your love to others the way the Kardashians do, with an idiotic card!

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4 More Bad Ass Ways the Pope Could Impress Us


The Catholic Church is enjoying an unprecedented time in its history thanks to one man – Pope Francis. Unlike the last two Popes, Pope Francis actually seems like a guy who wants to use his influence to make the world a better place. It’s ironic ...

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Your Christmas Party Playlist


Now is the time for malls, outlet stores and shitty, shitty radio stations to assault your ears with seasonal vitriol. According to science, a man can only listen to a cover of Santa Baby three times before a large portion of the brain turns to mu...

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25 Things The Walking Dead Midseason Finale Needed


So confident am I that AMC misfired on this episode, I’m actually writing this article two hours before it airs. I’m that good . I am going to tell you all the things you didn’t see that you needed to see, and wanted to see, and should have seen...

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Celebrate Thanksgiving with Thanksgiving GIFs


Because it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without GIFs.

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Kanye West’s 2014 To Do List


Kanye West is a busy man. He has to refer to himself as a god in a non-ironic way during interviews. He has to simulate sex with his girlfriend in terrible music videos. He has to interrupt awards shows (which he was doing well before the Taylo...

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Naming Superheroes According to B-List Character Rules


If you’ve spent any time reading comic books, watching comic book movies or enjoy the myriad of comic book cartoons, odds are you’re passingly familiar with superheroes and their alternate identities. I would wager all of you know that Batman’s r...

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