Articles - Page 8

Your Christmas Party Playlist

Now is the time for malls, outlet stores and shitty, shitty radio stations to assault your ears with seasonal vitriol. According to science, a man can only listen to a cover of Santa Baby three times before a large portion of the brain turns to mu...

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25 Things The Walking Dead Midseason Finale Needed

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by Ian Fortey

So confident am I that AMC misfired on this episode, I’m actually writing this article two hours before it airs. I’m that good . I am going to tell you all the things you didn’t see that you needed to see, and wanted to see, and should have seen...

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Celebrate Thanksgiving with Thanksgiving GIFs

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by Ian Fortey

Because it wouldn’t be Thanksgiving without GIFs.

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Kanye West’s 2014 To Do List

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by Ian Fortey

Kanye West is a busy man. He has to refer to himself as a god in a non-ironic way during interviews. He has to simulate sex with his girlfriend in terrible music videos. He has to interrupt awards shows (which he was doing well before the Taylo...

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Naming Superheroes According to B-List Character Rules

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by Ian Fortey

If you’ve spent any time reading comic books, watching comic book movies or enjoy the myriad of comic book cartoons, odds are you’re passingly familiar with superheroes and their alternate identities. I would wager all of you know that Batman’s r...

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25 Names You Can Use If You Ever Get Into Porn

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by Ian Fortey

Choosing a porn star name is an art and most people are not artists. Have you ever used one of those porn star name apps or tricks, like where you combine the name of the street you grew up on with the name of your first pet? And one person on e...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Nov 22nd

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by Ian Fortey

We missed last week due to a technical problem and we may as well miss this week because you know who’s making all the money, but hey, let’s make fun of the movies no one is going to see this weekend.

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What Ever Happened to Holy Taco’s Ex-Employees?

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by Ian Fortey

As some of you have noticed, this entire site is run by me, Ian Fortey, and it has been for a while now. But it wasn’t always so. Holy Taco has previously been run by a team of highly skilled comedy luminaries and doctors with PhDs in hilarity (...

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Advice for the Poor and Hungry This Holiday Season

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by Ian Fortey

McDonalds cares about its employees as demonstrated on its McResources website. Because many of its employees don’t earn the money required to have a nice Thanksgiving, or really live a decent life, they offer up some simple solutions for combati...

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A Brief Introduction to the Planthopper from Suriname

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by Ian Fortey

Recently discovered in the rain forests of Suriname, the planthopper is one of 60 new species recently cataloged by people who go into jungles and say “anyone know what this is?”

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