Articles - Page 9

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th

It’s a brand new week at the ass end of January where few people try hard when it comes to films. Is that unfair? Not really. On the upside there’s a movie I actually want to see coming out this week. In limited release. Listen, limited relea...

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Why Terrell Mims: Plagiarist Doesn’t Get It

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by Ian Fortey

Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to be saturated in douche. Terrell Mims has resurfaced. Back in 2011 Holy Taco helped out him as a word thief, a man building his reputation on lies and deceit, copying the work of other aut...

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When Internet People Make Fake Vaginas

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by Ian Fortey

As you know, I have a history of reviewing Fleshlights in non sexy ways. I mean, obviously you can hump one, but what else is it good for? That’s always been my point of view. But what are other people out there doing? I know that there are a ...

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Holy Taco Field Guide to Naming Groups of People

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by Ian Fortey

Crows come in a murder. Everyone is instantly amused when they learn this. Boars come in a sounder. Otters in a romp. Porcupines in a prickle. It’s no end of amusement to look up stuff like so long as you never question how this is official i...

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The American Idol Recap: Part 2

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by Ian Fortey

Once again I refuse to write anything down for about 20 minutes. Nicki Minaj is dressed like a gay leopard Sky Captain. I’m stating officially, right now, that I will not be able to continue this for a whole season. Why is this show on for anot...

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Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

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by Ian Fortey

It’s a new week and new contenders for the throne have reared their ugly heads. Who’s currently on the throne? Zero Dark Thirty, I think. I could look but what am I, a looker? Pfft.

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The American Idol Recap: Part 1

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by Ian Fortey

Oh my Jesus. I’m doing this. Gird yourselves. OK, so this year the roster got shaken up and the old ladies of yesteryear are gone, replaced with Nicki Minaj, Mariah Carey and Keith Urban. 100 years ago this panel would have just been a table o...

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Stop Yelling at Walruses: A PSA

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by Ian Fortey

I am a walrus. I frolic in the sea like a majestic fatty.

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The Versatility of Turd

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by Ian Fortey

Ahh. The noble turd. Unloved. Overlooked. Shunted aside like so much shit. The turd is ever a stalwart companion in our vulgar lexicon. Not so robust as shit, not so juvenile as poop. Not as scholarly as feces or fecund as excrement. It is...

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25 Things the Internet is Better Than

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by Ian Fortey

It’s 2013 and according to recent studies, everyone spends all the time on the internet. Everyone. All the time. Internet. But there’s also this curious notion people have been developing that they need to spend time away from the internet, doi...

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Articles - Page 9

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 25th

Why Terrell Mims: Plagiarist Doesn’t Get It

When Internet People Make Fake Vaginas

Holy Taco Field Guide to Naming Groups of People

The American Idol Recap: Part 2

Reviewing Movies We Haven’t Seen Yet: Jan 18th

The American Idol Recap: Part 1

Stop Yelling at Walruses: A PSA

The Versatility of Turd

25 Things the Internet is Better Than

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