A normal wedding is for suckers and people who already have the divorce papers in their luggage. Theme weddings are what keeps you together for at least 6 months.
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Remember, if you’re going to go to a public sporting event, it’s not worth it if you don’t scare children.
When you need to start a fire to make s’mores, you could use matches or the power of lightning if that’s at your disposal, but you’ll make more of an impression on the local cavemen if you make fire with one of these. Actually, ...
One time I held up two peanut butter cups and pretended they were nipples. This stuff is a little more advanced.
Knitting is something most of us associate with grandma. if your grandma knits these things, stop visiting. But give us her number.
If you have to get a tattoo that depicts another person somewhere on your body, better make sure that person is funny. I dunno why. Just go with it.
People who dress up their pets are monsters. Even if they’re dressed like Star Wars characters.
Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, right?right?
Everyone says you can use chocolate or oysters as an aphrodisiac, but probably if you bust out weiner-shaped candy or the rest of this stuff, you’ll get the message across ever more clearly.
We’ve covered Star Trek and Star Was tattoos in the past, even some Lord of the Rings, but just how deep does the nerd hole go when it comes to body mods? Right here, kids. Right frackin’ here.
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