Everyone thinks guns and ninja stars are cool, but there’s so much cooler when you make them yourself at home from old pop cans and stray socks.
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Modern robots are far too fancy for their own good. Back in the day, robots were way more awesome. And boxy.
A normal wedding is for suckers and people who already have the divorce papers in their luggage. Theme weddings are what keeps you together for at least 6 months.
Remember, if you’re going to go to a public sporting event, it’s not worth it if you don’t scare children.
When you need to start a fire to make s’mores, you could use matches or the power of lightning if that’s at your disposal, but you’ll make more of an impression on the local cavemen if you make fire with one of these. Actually, ...
One time I held up two peanut butter cups and pretended they were nipples. This stuff is a little more advanced.
Knitting is something most of us associate with grandma. if your grandma knits these things, stop visiting. But give us her number.
If you have to get a tattoo that depicts another person somewhere on your body, better make sure that person is funny. I dunno why. Just go with it.
People who dress up their pets are monsters. Even if they’re dressed like Star Wars characters.
Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, Art is subjective, they say. But for real, all of these statues are totally messed up, right?right?
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