Okay, I've got a 6-pack of PBR, and a bottle of cheap wine in case there are any chicks at this party that I'm going to. I think that's all I need. Maybe I should just browse the two aisles of this Asian Liquor Store that aren't packed with wine,...
For many people today, their local shopping mall takes the place of the town squares of ancient societies. Malls are a place to shop, mingle, and run into people that you don't really want to talk to, and then try not to make eye contact with those people, but then...
If there's one thing we like to do more than drink, it's argue about really important stuff, like what's worse, getting herpes or accidentally fathering a child? Here's what it sounds like when we do both at the same time: Drunken Argument that a Kid is Worse: Inconvenient. Uncomfortable. Embarassing. Disgusting. All...
Sometimes girls treat sex like Forrest Gump treats talking to strangers: regardless of the circumstances, they just refuse to give it up. Keep this Sex Excuses Bingo Card close to your bed (or wherever you bone most often) and check the excuses off as you go (a word of warning,...
Helping a girl move is like sitting through a screening of Beverly Hills Chihuahua with a clothespin on your ballsack: it's completely miserable, it hurts like hell, and you gain absolutely nothing from it. Most girls have no idea how to move, which is why they're asking for your help,...
WWF Hall of Famer and Professional Wrestling legend Captain Lou Albano passed away today, most likely from being too awesome for the world to handle. Captain Lou was the loud, obnoxious WWF wrestling manager who was largely responsible for the mainstream popularity of both wrestling and rubberband facial piercings. He...
It's surprising that the people who dress up in these mascot suits don't go nuts more often. They're stuck in a suit that smells like b.o. and urine for hours at a time and if they take their heads off to get a break from the hundreds of children they deal with each day, they get...
You probably don't know Jesse Frederick by name, even though you invited him into your home every Friday night of your childhood. No, he's not your Dad's creepy friend from down the street. Jesse Frederick is the musician who wrote and recorded the theme songs for Perfect Strangers,...
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Holy Taco Goes to the Bahamas
