This Dog Really Doesn’t Like Boxing. - Page 111

This Dog Really Doesn’t Like Boxing.

posted 08/15/2008
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I like how this guy thinks his dog is learning how to box, meanwhile the dog is thinking “How the f*&k do I get these things off my paws. Why is he clapping for me?” If slapping something on your dog suddenly makes him whatever it is you put on him, then I taught my dog how to be a late 19th century railroad magnate by putting him in a tuxedo and giving him a top hat and a monocle.

The Goat That Yells Like A Man

posted 08/14/2008
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Goat Yelling Like A Man – Watch more free videos

Anytime I hear an animal barking or meowing or mooing, or making whatever noise the animal is supposed to make, I always assumed that if I translated that animal’s “voice” into English it would just sound like a man yelling “Aaaaaaaa!” I guess I was right.

Other crap to look at:
Delfina Perez in Maxim (cameltap)
Eva Longoria’s nipple (drunkenstepfather)
Watch a monkey use a frog as a sex toy (gorillamask)
Forbes’ Hardest Drinking Cities (tastybooze)
Sabrina is attractive (funtasticus)
John Mayer cheated on Jennifer Aniston (theblemish)
Kamasutra condoms (inventorspot)
If Megan Fox was a nun (Flisted)
Helena Christiansen in a bikini (doubleviking)
Ernest Borgnine masturbates (I’m sorry) (comedy.com)

This Polar Bear Is Going To Be A Star

posted 08/12/2008
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Polar Bear Takes a dump in the water – Watch more free videos

I’ve seen a lot of animal shitting videos, and while most of them make me chuckle, I don’t really think they’re that post worthy. But this video, this video has like three levels of awesomeness. First of all, the reaction of the crowd, as they let out a unified “awwww” (one guy let’s out an ‘Oh god”) in disappointment that the bear has made diarrhea; in a word, amazing. I want to isolate that reaction and play it every time I have diarrhea.

Secondly, if you watch closely, the bear braces itself against the rock, and then is actually propelled upwards by his stream of poop. You may say “No, he’s just floating upwards naturally.” I say to you sir, shut your f* &king mouth, I’m going with my story.

Thirdly, at the end, as if the bear senses the crowd can take no more, he turns around and sticks his face in his brown murky mess, like Babe Ruth, giving a curtain call to an invigorated Yankee stadium crowd after crushing a 520 foot home run. What a performance. Nature is awesome.

Tags: 2008-08, Blog entry

This Is Why You Don’t Masturbate At Work

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This is why you dont masturbate at work – Watch more free videos

Not masturbating at work is a pretty good rule to follow during the course of your professional career. But it’s an especially important rule to follow if your new job is at a film production company.

5 Amazingly Embarrassing Corporate Songs

posted 08/10/2008
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5. WE BUILT THIS STARBUCKS – JEFFERSON STARBUCKS

We Built This Starbucks – Watch more free videos

If you’re going to write a song to get your employees psyched up to sell some coffee, don’t make it a parody of the worst song ever written.

Best lyric: It’s another Funday/With the deals we land/Licensees have got the venue/(Ohhhhhoahhwwhoaow)/And we bring the braaaand!

4. WE WORK HARD FOR YOUR MONEY – MINDSHARE

We work Hard for your money – Watch more free videos

Imagine getting the memo that your company’s executives thought it would be a good idea to write a team-building song and that it was mandatory that all employees had to be in the video. Then imagine the memo saying that you had to sing a version of Donna Summer’s “She Works Hard For The Money” except with lyrics about how great you treat your clients. Then imagine that you’re not imagining this.

Best lyric: A people’s business that’s what it is/Research creative and digital/Creating value/So meet our wonderful team

(Please note that it doesn’t even rhyme)

Finally A Decent Brendan Fraser Movie

posted 08/08/2008
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I would have actually gone to see this version.

Via screenjunkies.com and made by black20.com

The Only Church With Glow Sticks

posted 08/07/2008
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Clubbing for the Lord – Watch more free videos

I don’t think there’s anything in the Bible that says you can’t love the Lord to some seriously bangin’ trance music. So let’s get our glow sticks, a few pacifiers, drop some tabs and get to churchin’!

The Lamest Forms Of Self Defense

posted 08/06/2008
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Self Defense for Dorks – Watch more free videos

This self defense video reminds me of the time one of my friends took a karate class. I was over at his house after a class and he tried to show me what he’d learned. The conversation went like this:

Friend: OK, come at me. Attack me. I’ll show you what I learned in karate class and block you.

Me: Come at you? Like, hit you?

Friend: Yeah.

[I come at him and take a swing.]

Friend: No, wait. Don’t come at me like that. Come at me overhand, kind of like this.

Me: But people don’t attack people like that.

Friend: No, do it overhand like this. But do it really slowly. And I’ll totally stop it.

Me: I’m going home.

via milkandcookies.com

Tags: 2008-08, Blog entry, self defense

End Of The Day Awesome

posted 08/05/2008
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I can’t tell you how many times I tried shit like this when I was little. I mean, I could, but really who gives a shit. Anyway, most of the time it resulted in the ball hitting my face, and that wasn’t because I missed catching it, it was because my brothers, who were usually the ones throwing it, didn’t throw it with the intention of me catching it, but instead it hitting me and injuring me. Yet every time I went through with it. F%&k you Danny, and Evan. F%&k you.

Evil Mr. Rogers Isn’t As Creepy As Real Mr. Rogers

posted 08/04/2008
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Mr Rogers is Really Creepy – Watch more free videos

Even as a young child I was a little bit scared of Mr. Rogers. I don’t know what it was, but something about an elderly man that lived alone, played with make-believe puppets and hung out with an extremely nervous mail man. And the only other people I’ve seen who speak in his slow, calm and plodding way was Jeffrey Dahmer.

Check out this real and untouched video of Mr. Rogers breakdancing and tell me which one you think is creepier. Leave your votes in the comments section. Whoever leaves the best argument (for either side) will win something off my desk.

Mr Rogers Breakdancing – Watch more free videos

[evil link via uniquedaily.com]

This Dog Really Doesn’t Like Boxing. - Page 111