There are a lot of good things happening in this video. First, the referee is so hammered he’s walking like the world is tilted 30 degrees to the left. Second, he’s refereeing a children’s soccer game. Third, I’m pretty sure his response to the people helping him off the field is something like, “Wait, wait, wait, no. Wait. Wait. Hang on. Wait. I’m fine. Wait.” And lastly, his wave to the crowd at the 1:52 mark is unbelievably classic. He’s so wasted that he thinks the fans are cheering for him.
I’ve been hammered at work before, but I was definitely sober enough to know that I shouldn’t happily wave to my boss as HR was escorting me out of the building.
Other crap to look at:
Heidi Klum licks ice cream (drunkenstepfather)
Edburne Garcia is, ya know, hot. (cameltap)
Spiders can’t make webs when they’re high (gorillamask)
This makes me puke (hornyoyster)
Italian chicks fight in bikinis (doubleviking)
Either this cat has an itchy ear…or he totally loves headbanging to the heavy metal stylings of Kerry King, Toma Araya, Jeff Hanneman and Dave Lombardo (aka, Slayer.) And can you blame him? Slayer kind of totally rules. The next time one of my ears starts itching, I’m not going to use a Q-Tip. Instead, I’m just going to put on Reign In Blood as loud as possible and rock out like I’ve never rocked out before.
Thanks to Jenkins LeWhisker for sending this in (Yes, that’s his real name.)
Other crap to look at:
Awesome Tracey Morgan outtakes (afrojacks)
Th 10 Greatest Athlete Couples (unibrow)
Somebody should get gored already (withleather)
Finnish Wife Carrying (donchavez)
Why prank one when you can prank 100 (comedy)
As I watched the video of this dog drum along to this hipster song, something occurred to me: This one-pawed dog drummer sounds a lot like Rick Allen, the one-armed human drummer of Def Leppard. Having owned Pyromania, Hysteria and High ‘n’ Dry in my younger years, I was very familiar with Rick’s drumming technique. (Being the visionary that he is, Rick actually managed to sound like a one-armed drummer before he even lost his arm.) Here’s proof:
So which drummer reigns supreme? Let’s break it down:
Reason for single-arm technique: Rick Allen: Lost his left arm when he was thrown from his car in a grisly, cocaine-fueled accident. Dog Drummer: Is probably just responding to someone scratching it’s leg and not actually drumming at all. Winner: Rick Allen.
Career Highpoint: Rick Allen: Touring the world and living the life of a millionaire rock star. Dog Drummer: Appearing in a 50-second Internet video. Winner: Rick Allen
Career Lowpoint: Rick Allen: Still has to play “Pour Some Sugar On Me” every night of every tour. Dog Drummer: Appearing in a 50-second Internet video. Winner: Dog Drummer
Intangibles: Rick Allen: Has had sex with more women than you’ve had hot meals. Dog Drummer: Can lick own butthole. Winner: Tie
Genitalia status: Rick Allen: Probably has all of his genitals. Dog Drummer: Probably spayed or neutered. Huge Winner: Rick Allen
Final Verdict: Rick Allen 3, Dog Drummer 1
So there you have it. Rick Allen handily defeats the Dog Drummer in the battle of the world’s most famous drummers, who, for whatever reason, only use one arm/paw when drumming.
But, just in case you wondered what it would look like if the Dog Drummer was the drummer for Def Leppard instead of Rick Allen…
Other crap to look at:
Wanna see Amy Winehouse’s bush? (drunkenstepfather)
Give to Charity. Charity Hodges. (gorillamask)
Everyone wins with Caroline Winberg (Cameltap)
Is that a baby bat sucking my teat? (BestWeekEver)
Keeley Hazell naked in French Maxim (hornyoyster)
Why are foreign commercials so much more interesting that American ones? Is it because they don’t have endless focus groups that water everything down to the point of being completely bland? Or is it that they do have focus groups, but the people in those groups say things like “when I think of light bulbs, I think of flying ghosts” and “this commercial needs more transvestites”?
Either way, I think we need to reward this kind of advertising. I’m going to go get some light bulbs. Sylvanias to be exact.
Other crap to look at:
The ultimate drunk people compilation video (uber)
Hot chicks save the world (bush league)
Ana Beatriz Barros does GQ Italy (Flisted)
Texas teen is Guitar Hero record holder (asylum)
Skater makes tooth deposit at concrete bank (donchavez)
Sometimes the hype built up around a product, person or football league somehow doesn’t live up to it’s actual substance. But, what would our lives be like if they did?
Other crap to look at:
This mom made her 4-year-old-film her shaking her ass (drunkenstepfather)
5 Terrible lessons Hoillywood loves to teach you (cracked)
2-year-old-drummer (cameltap)
Ali Landry gets sexy (gorillamask)
Mexican oil wresting (doubleviking)
About a month or so ago we did a story about these big fat monkeys at a zoo in Japan. Apparently the tourists were hurling food at the monkeys and the zoo keepers want that to stop, so they put up signs telling the tourists not to do that.
First of all, the sign shows a person throwing a banana to the monkey. From studying humans I can tell you that I’ve never in my life heard somebody say “Dammit, I’ve put on a bunch of weight because I’m eating all these god damned bananas.”
Secondly, I’ve seen my fat relatives go on diets; they turn in to complete nightmares. Really irritable and angry all the time. So I’m pretty sure that if I added in the element of “socially okay with throwing poo” pretty much every family function I’d be covered in my Uncles shit before we sat down for dinner.
A couple years ago, MTV put out a little show called Wonder Showzen. It was a pretty special show that had children and puppets doing things that you don’t normally see children and puppets doing. This video was their original unaired pilot. And while I use hyperbole more than anyone in the entire world, this is the greatest thing I have ever seen in my life.
I know this video is a little long, but please just get to the part where the children are narrating a hot dog factory video (at about the 4:40 mark). There are so many unreal quotes (”Save me the forehead.” “That man said he has enough meat in his pants to make 24 hot dogs.” “Hot dogs give me energy, so I can fight off my daddy.”) that it will make just make your life better.
You know, tourette’s is a very sad and debilitating disease. It’s not something that should be laughed at or mocked. As you can see from this video (which you may have seen before, but it’s definitely worth another viewing), more research is needed to help treat this terrible condition. Forget the starving children, Darfur and the baby seals. With lines such as “You’re grounded because you don’t think the garbage disposal sounds like Chewbacca taking a s***,” and “Don’t talk s*** about Total!” you can see that tourettes is clearly the world’s most pressing problem.
If you’re at work, be careful. There’s just a little bit of naughty language in this video. (And for the record, yes, I know this is fake. But the fact that someone made all this stuff up, makes me like it even more.)
Other crap to look at:
Michelle Huziker is in a bikini (drunkenstepfather)
5 Hottest celebrities who were ugly kids (doubleviking)
Someone’s not good at escalators (cameltap)
This girl is stupid (hornyoyster)
Man in penis suit crashes graduation (tastybooze)
Drunken ilots are flying in India (Uncoached)
The 10 Best SI Swimsuit Covers (Don Chavez)
Spencer Pratt is oily (DerekHail)
Remember when you’d go to the dentist’s office when you were a kid and there’d be a copy of Highlights Magazine on the waiting room table? And you were so bored that you thumbed through the whole thing? Well, that ...
(3)
