It’s really hard to not think of people from the Kentucky as anything other than slightly retarded backwoods morons when stories like this one pop up. Kentucky, I’m trying – I mean really trying – to think of you guys has the non-one-dimensional cartoon characters that I know you aren’t, but why do you make it so hard? I know there’s at least one person among you that doesn’t look like he makes moonshine in the bathtub in the outhouse that’s also a house for his sister/wife. See what just happened there? I did it again. I turned you in to a one-dimensional character. Not cool. But you forced my hand with this news story that came out of you…
Back in the day Ian Fortey and Gladstone worked together on Cracked.com. Then Ian and a somewhat addled prostitute started an office fire and a few months later he was working here at Holy Taco. In the meantime, here’s Ian and Gladstone, together again.
If the internet made a distinctive sound, it would probably be a constant loop of Rick Astley that plays over giddy giggling that’s sliced in half by a crashing thud and shell shocked people muttering “Oh my god…oh my god.” The following video features the second half of that sound.
Hey, do you like it when perfectly good classic rock songs from great bands are ruined by a bunch of idiots that have no idea how to play their instruments while they stand around in their underwear? You do? Awesome. Because we’ve got this one video to show you that will make you cream your jeans and make your cats freak out and hide.
There’s something to be said for the thrill of going on Chatroulette and finding that one pair of boobs in a sea of wang. On the other hand, if the boobs you think you’re about to see were sponsored by Eli Roth’s new movie The Last Exorcism, you may want to abandon your internet gambling altogether. Check out the video after the jump.
It’s no secret that within 50 years Asians of all types will be in control of the world. The Chinese will have finally broken America’s legs for not paying our debt in time, the Japanese will have their finger on the button that makes all of our Japanese designed and manufactured home appliances and doo-dads become sentient, and the Koreans will have completely taken over our coveted Starcraft 2 servers. But one thing we can always feel safe knowing is that no Asian country was able to do the one thing that we have: create a fully functional jetpack.
Basil Marceaux may be the most awesome human being in the history of the state of Tennessee. Was that a backhanded insult? No time to delve into it, we’re plowing ahead, just like Basil Marceaux! Let’s check out what he stands for!
A vote for Basil is a vote for making sure the only crimes will be moving violations. No, seriously!
Watch the video and appreciate that Basil wants phonics emphasized in schools!
A vote for Basil will move the capitol building to Chatanooga. Yay! I guess!
Basil will get rid of all gun permits, because they get in the way of people having guns!
Basil introduces himself as Basil Marceaux.com!
Basil is an entrepreneur, historian, inventor and exporter/importer