Thomas Bowdler rewrote Shakespeare to better appeal to the sensibilities of the 19th century, which is to say he took out all references to poontang and the shocker. We understand that not everyone likes those things, so we decided to follow his example with one of Youtube’s greatest music videos
You rascal this is the 15th gosh darn time that I have called and left your patootie messages. I have sent text messages to your rather feminine backside and you have not responded to nothing. What the heckles are you doing? Who the fudge are you out there with? Do you think I’m stupid? My friends have informed me that your derrier is up to something tonight. Scallywag, when you get home I shall be having words with you.
Today seems to be a fat day on Holy Taco, so it’s appropriate that this video is buzzing on the internet right now amongst the sorts of people who produce and then send this video to others who will watch while experiencing mild discomfort until the very end.
We’re pretty accepting people here, one in 10 of our articles are written by a mongloid, and we have nothing against big women. All women are beautiful in their own way, even if that way is sometimes best expressed by being in another room, or even a different state. But this video is a whole lot of something else. Follow along, won’t you?
As you’re no doubt aware, Holy Taco was at the forefront of identifying 5 year old Canadian sensation with lesbians. There’s something remarkably fish tacoish about that toddler and his pretend-messy hair that the entire world has picked up on. Probably because it’s not even really a joke, there just are a whole hell of a lot of lesbians who legitimately look like him. We refuse to speculate about what that means but, in order to prove it’s no trick of the light, we will put up this video someone sent us featuring a girl who does, in fact, look just like the Biebs. Probably people call him the Biebs. If not, please start spreading that around, and maybe in another month there’ll be a Youtube video about that as well. We’re trendsetters, man.