Dick "America’s Favorite Old, Confused Stroke Victim" Clark dicked up the New Year’s Countdown again this year. This isn’t the first time he’s f*cked up the countdown, but it will be the last. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: Dick Clark will die in 2010. I just hope that he does a countdown to his own death and f*cks it up, because then at his eulogy people can say things like, "Dick died the way he lived: f*cking up countdowns and making pivotal moments uncomfortable for everyone."
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